Life
by Lady S
Summary: A Trilogy about life for Christy, Neil, and the friends and family that surround them in their home in Cutter Gap. *COMPLETE*
1. Too Soon Lost ... Too Late Found

Title: Too Soon Lost... Too Late Found  
  
Author: Lady S  
  
Rating: Heavy PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. We are continuing the story of Christy for our own amusement only. Any additions in story line and characters were invented by the writers of the alt.tv.christy Round Robin and the Christy Mailing List. The content of each story is the responsibility of the individual writer. The fanfic here is being posted as a service to the Christy mailing list, Pax Christy Forum and Alt.tv.christy News Group.  
  
Author's Notes: Just a warning. This particular fanfic will be a little on the dark side. Nothing too bad just much more serious than any of the other's I've written. Up until now you've seen my light, humorous, romantic side of writing. Welcome to the other side.  
  
  
  
Too Soon Lost... Too Late Found.  
  
  
  
Standing at the railing on the second level of the mission house Christy watched the sun rising in the sky, a brilliant morning that she wished she could enjoy. But her mind and heart were too full of questions to enjoy the splendor of the rising sun. All night, since she had been caught between two men in the schoolyard, Christy had searched her heart for answers.  
  
Who did she love?  
  
David loved her. He was a kind man, very sweet to her and to the children. Not a day went by that he didn't make her feel special with his looks or his kisses. David had a love for God, he was a preacher, always doing good deeds for those who needed it, and lately he had been especially doing so, finally seeing that the way to help them was to work with his hands, side by side with the men of the cove.  
  
But Neil loved her too. He was an intelligent man, one who had dedicated his life to helping the families of the cove. The children loved him dearly, and the people accepted him as one of their own since he was from these very mountains. Every time she talked with Neil he challenged her to rise above the problem, many times helping her see the solution just by talking it our with him. Lately they had become very good friends.  
  
Christy sighed. All through the night she had listened to her heart and her head as they had fought with each other, each one warring with the other about the pros and the cons of the men in question. Both were good men and of course both had their faults as imperfect men.  
  
David would eventually want to leave the cove someday, he had said as much to Christy when he told her about a letter from home. And with all the time they had spent together she found it difficult to recall the last time they had heldd a serious discussion between just the two of them. David seemed to prefer kissing to talking. When they did talk he always seemed disinterested, putting down her ideas and leaving her feeling tired out just from talking to him.  
  
And Neil! Every time they talked it seemed to end in an argument, no matter what the discussion had begun as. It felt, at times, like no matter how she explained things that it would never be right in his eyes. Whenever she was around him she felt as though she were behaving like a little child. He made her feel naïve, especially with his 'Papa will explain' comments. He made her blood boil, as she had told Fairlight that morning. But even if all that didn't exist, even if he had no faults there was one fact that still remained. Neil MacNeill was a married man.  
  
No closer to a decision than she was when she had fled the schoolyard, ignoring the calls of both men, Christy sighed and went inside to dress. 'Maybe a walk in the woods will help,' she thought to herself as she donned a dress. Sitting on the chair, reaching for her hairbrush she brushed out her long brown locks, opting to let them hang freely down her back. It was still early in the morning; she doubted she would come across anyone this early in the morning. Slipping on her shoes she tread softly down the stairs and out the front door of the mission. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air she looked around trying to decide which way she would go. The one way had less cabins so Christy opted to head in that direction, walking at a leisurely pace, in no hurry, still with a plethora of questions on her mind. Entering the forest she saw a deer dart away into the brush and Christy smiled. How could she ever think of leaving a place as beautiful as Cutter Gap? Yes, it had its problems, every place had their share of it, but what better place to deal with those problems that here, in the beauty of God's creative works? Here in the cove, where the people had such a fierce devotion to one another and to God.  
  
But if she married David then there would come a day when she would leave the cove, leaving behind all the people she had come to care about. She would have to leave behind her children and who knew if they would ever have another teacher who was willing and able to see past the poverty and the dirt to see the diamond through the coal. Christy's heart cried at the thought that her children would feel she didn't love them any more because she had left them.  
  
Christy wondered if she should marry at all. So far the prospect had only seemed to bring trouble. Where was that fairytale marriage that she had imagined as a child? Leaning against a tree for a moment Christy closed her eyes and pictured her little children playing in the yard as she had so many times before. Only this time, as she stood there with her eyes closed she could see that they weren't playing in the yard but rather by the river. One of them, a little girl, turned and smiled at her, her bright red curls gleaming in the sun even as the playfulness gleamed in her big blue eyes.  
  
"Oh!" Christy cried, opening her eyes with a sudden jerk of her head.  
  
Red hair and blue eyes? When had she begun to imagine her children with that coloring? The blue eyes she could understand, they were the same color as her own. But the red hair? No one in her family had that type of hair color. Christy could feel her cheeks burning as she realized what her little daydream had meant. Red hair and blue eyes, the same as Neil. Shaking her head to dispel the thought Christy kept walking deeper into the forest.  
  
Neil MacNeill.  
  
Theirs was a relationship Christy truly could not define to herself, or anyone else for that matter. They had begun as sparring partners, debating everything from the children to religion to medicine and health in the cove. But over time that had changed as they had learned to trust one another, to value each other's opinions. A friendship had formed and yet Christy could not end its definition there. Somehow their relationship had moved past the barriers of a friendship and into an area Christy didn't know, one that she couldn't name. Yet all the while she knew, without a doubt, that she trusted Neil implicitly.  
  
Sighing Christy stared up at the treetops for a moment, begging God for His answer to the questions that burned in her mind and heart. What was she to decide? How would she ever know to which man her heart truly belonged? Not finding an answer in the treetops Christy sighed once more and looked down at the beaten patch before her. Where would it lead? From behind her she heard the snap of a twig but before she could turn to look a blinding pain exploded in her head. Tears of pain surged forth and she fell to her knees in the middle of the forest. As she tumbled to the ground, her head pounding, a ringing noise filling her hears she was barely aware of the cool, dew covered grass as it brushed her cheek. Lying in the forest a numbing blackness surrounded her and willingly she succumbed to it, welcoming the relief it brought, a haven from the pain that seared through her head.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Riding up the hill to the mission house Neil's eyes automatically drifted toward the schoolhouse; they usually did when he rode toward the mission. Even though he knew it was a Saturday and there was no school today Neil felt a twinge of disappointment that he would not get to see Christy interact with the children today. He loved to watch her when she didn't know anyone was there, the way she spoke to the children, the soft look that would come into her eyes. It was one of the many reason he loved her.  
  
But, he reminded himself, that was not why he was riding to the mission today. There was no medical emergency, no that wasn't the reason either. Today it was a personal reason. Halting Charlie near the hitching post Neil swung down and wrapped the leather reins around the post before climbing the stairs, removing his riding gloves as he walked. Entering the mission he was drawn to the dining room by the voices he heard, recognizing the one he needed to speak with.  
  
"David, thee is asking her to dedicate her life to thee. Thee must understand she will need time to think over such an undertaking."  
  
"You make it sound like a chore Alice," he groaned from his seat at the head of the table.  
  
"No, not a chore, but thee must admit it is a large decision to be made and it is not one to be made lightly." The scuffing of Neil's boots on the floor caught her attention and Alice looked up to see him standing in the doorway. "Welcome, Neil."  
  
"Alice," he said in greeting. "Grantland," Neil added as an afterthought. "Alice I need a moment with you."  
  
Nodding she rose form her seat. "Ruby Mae would thee please inform thy teacher that her breakfast is getting cold?" Motioning for Neil to join her in the main room she waited until Ruby Mae had climbed the stairs to speak to Neil. "What did thee need to discuss?"  
  
"Margaret." Pulling at the nips of his hair Neil sighed. "She's gone again. I got back to the cabin yesterday to find her gone."  
  
Closing her eyes Alice sat down heavily on one of the chairs. Once again Margaret had entered their lives just long enough to destroy the relative peace they had managed to regain. "Did she leave thee a note?"  
  
"No, there was nothing." Silence fell over them as they contemplated the woman that had destroyed their lives yet again. No words could be said; there was nothing they could do.  
  
"Miz Alice!" Running down the stairs Ruby Mae broke the silence with her yelling, entering the room with wide eyes. "Miz Christy ain't there, her bed ain't been slept in neither!"  
  
Alice stood and moved to the stairs. Surely she hadn't left! Alice hadn't had a chance to speak with her yet and as the older woman climbed the stairs she prayed the young woman had not left the cove. Hurrying into her room she saw that all of her things were still there. She hadn't fled then, Alice breathed a sigh of relief. But where was Christy? Back down stairs she stood before everyone to have them answer her questions. "When was the last time anyone saw Christy?"  
  
"When she fled the schoolhouse. I never saw her come home that night," David answered.  
  
"I see'd her head'n up ta God'z Fist's way, Miz Alice, but I aint nevuh see'd her come down."  
  
"She didn't come back to the mission last night?" Neil asked, his voice filled with worry. "Anything could have happened to her!"  
  
Alice sprang into action. "Ruby Mae, thee will head east, tell every man to gather at the mission. Neil thee will head north and David thee will head south. I shall go east. Everyone meet back here in four hour's time. We shall search the cove for Christy until we have found her."  
  
Each one heading out, the three adults on horseback and Ruby Mae at her fastest running speed, they spread the word of the missing teacher and within the hour the entire cove was searching the mountain, combing every inch of it for their teacher. Children and adults alike yelled out to her but none heard a response. When the four hours had passed the cove gathered before the mission house, women carrying pitcher of water to the thirty men and older boys. Standing on the mission porch Alice's fear began to grow heavier in her heart. Refusing to allow it room to continue growing she stamped it out by speaking to the crowd that had gathered. "We must continue looking. One group in each direction; north south, east and west. When thee have found her fire off a shot of thy rifle so we will know she is safe. We must keep going. She has been missing since yesterday and anything could have happened to her as thee all know too well."  
  
The group dispersed yet again, one group starting off in each direction, and for hours they continued to comb the cove, searching, calling, praying that they would find the lost woman. As Miss Alice was heading towards Gods Fist, just in case she was still there, when she heard a rifle shot and closed her eyes, a tear falling as she thanked God that Christy had been found. Turning Goldie around she headed back toward the mission house and arrived to see several of the men had returned as well. Soon all the groups but one had returned and they knew that Christy had to have been found by that group. Time passed and there was still no sign of the men that had found Christy. Just when Alice was ready to go off in search of them Rob Allen came crashing out of the bush and running toward their group. Stopping, his chest heaving from his run, he took a moment to catch his breath before he could answer the questions that were being thrown at him.  
  
"No, we ain't found Miz Christy. Pa had ta shoot a mount'n cat 'fore it kilt Mr. Spencer. I come a runnin' ta tell y'all so'z ya'd keep lookin'" The worry that had begun to abate rose again in full force and the men quickly scrambled to begin their search once more. Each group split off in their various directions and Alice fervently prayed that they would find Christy before it was too late.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
The blackness that had offered her freedom from the pain in her head was beginning to drift away and with a groan Christy woke, head pounding, ears still ringing. Opening her eyes she saw that the world around her was dark, very dark, but even the few things she could see were blurred, fuzzy on the edges, and Christy knew she was in trouble. She had a concussion. Forcing herself to move her body Christy discovered that her hands were bound behind her back and her feet as well. She was trapped. Raising her head as best she could, trying to ignore the pounding, searing pain that it caused she looked around at what she could see. She was in a cave; that much she knew by the feel of the wall at her back. The pain becoming too much she lowered her head to the ground and tried to remember what had happened. The last thing she could recall was walking in the woods, trying to clear her head of the questions that still resided there. The pain of remembering was too much and Christy closed her eyes against the tears she could feel forming there. She had been kidnapped. She had been hurt. And Christy knew that if she didn't stay awake, fight the sleepiness that was hovering over her like a warm blanket on a frigid day, that she would never wake again.  
  
As she fought to stay awake a noise caught her attention and she looked to the mouth of the little cave at the person who stood there now. Though the sun at their back hid their face Christy could see a heavy branch outlined by the sun and she knew that this was her attacker, this was the person who had kidnapped her. As she stared at her keeper Christy watched as the person suddenly bent over in two and a loud, deep, wet, hacking, cough filling the air where silence had once resided.  
  
"Margaret."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Closing her eyes Christy's head rolled back onto the ground, pain burning behind her eyes, through out her whole head the pain seared a path of destruction until she prayed for unconsciousness to take her again. Eyes closed, listening to Margaret cough as she entered the cave she wondered why the woman had attacked her. What had she done except encourage Margaret to fight for Neil? Why had she attacked her? The coughing ceased and Margaret's labored breathing filled the air. Shuffling over to Christy's side she kicked her as she passed, the blow landing in Christy's midsection causing her to double up, biting back a scream of pain. Moaning, wishing she could use her hands to hold her pained midsection, Christy listened as Margaret laughed at what she had caused.  
  
"Hurts doesn't it?" she said, her tone as icy as a winters roof. "Now you know how it feels to have your husband go chasing after another woman." Tears streaming from her eyes in pain Christy couldn't respond, she couldn't speak; the pain was too great to even catch her breath. Margaret watched from the opposite wall, her eyes dull as she watched the woman writhing in pain on the cold cave floor. For a long time they sat in silence, Christy unable to speak and Margaret unwilling as she pulled a flask from her coat pocket. There wasn't much that Margaret was sure of in her life anymore, but this was one of them. She was hurting. Now it was time for someone else to hurt instead.  
  
Hours passed and the sun was just beginning to fade when Margaret left the cave to relieve herself of the liquor she had been drinking from a large metal flask. Knowing she had to get away Christy tried to ignore her pain as she tested the bonds that held her wrists and ankles. While her wrists held tight she could feel that the bonds on her ankles slipping until finally they were looses enough to slip her foot out. Praying for the strength to get up and move Christy struggled into a sitting position, her midsection and head both screaming at her to stop. Ignoring the pain as best she could, knowing this might be her only chance Christy kept going. On her feet, unsteady, dizzy and violently nauseous, she leaned against the wall of the cave as she headed towards the waning daylight.   
  
Out in the open, free from the cave she bumped from tree to tree, falling against each one with a bone jarring force, she made her way as fast as she could away from the cave. Suddenly, jumping out from behind a tree Margaret stood in front of her, a wicked smile on her face. "Now where do you think you're going?" she said as she shoved Christy away from the tree and to the ground. "I didn't say you could leave." Grabbing Christy's hair and arm Margaret pushed her back into the cave, tossing her onto the floor once more. Taking a scarf out of her bag she bound Christy's feet again before ripping the shirt from her body and pulling off her skirt and petticoats off as well. Leaving the beaten teacher lying on the ground in only her most hidden of undergarments Margaret held the clothing in the air. "You won't be needing these," she said. "I'll just toss them in the river for Mac to find. They'll think you're dead and then they'll stop looking for you. You'll see, it can be great fun when everyone thinks you're dead."  
  
"He'll never believe it," Christy forced past her constricting throat, the windpipe growing smaller and smaller as Margaret told Christy her plan.   
  
Margaret's smile grew when Christy spoke. "Oh yes he will. He did once," she winked, "He'll believe it again." Turning Margaret left the cave and Christy began to work on the scarf that was around her ankles. The knot was much tighter this time but she knew she could work it loose with the right amount of twisting and stretching. Suddenly Margaret entered the cave again, the clothes still in her hands. Shaking her head she laughed at herself. "Silly me, I almost forgot." Picking up the branch again she loomed over Christy with an evil glint in her eyes. "I can't very well have you escaping while I'm gone, what good would that do?" Wide blue eyes filled with fear as the branch came swinging down, the blackness encroaching and taking over much faster than it had the first time.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Night had fallen quickly over the cove and as Neil rode toward the mission to get a torch to keep looking he forced himself to keep an open outlook. There was any number of explanations for Christy's disappearance. Perhaps she had gotten stuck somewhere, hurt her ankle, like she had that time with the children in that deep cave. Or perhaps she had fallen asleep in a cabin somewhere that they simply hadn't found yet. It could very well be that she simply had gotten lost and wandered into unfamiliar land, a part of the forest they hadn't searched yet.  
  
Dismounting from Charlie Neil leaned his head against his friend's neck and fought the panic that was rising in his chest. Who was he fooling? Christy could just as easily be dead. "No!" he growled, jerking his head up from Charlie's neck and tethering the horse to the mission post. He refused to believe that. Not that. Anything except that. Heading towards the barn for a torch he heard Fairlight calling his name from the mission door and turned to head towards her. Not saying a word she motioned him up toward the door and on into the building where he saw Alice sitting by the fire, a scrap of torn cloth in her hands, tears falling down her cheeks.  
  
At the sound of his footsteps she turned to look at him and Neil's heart stopped cold. Taking a step forward he took the cloth from Alice's hands, turning it over in his own until he found the one thing he hoped not to find. There, on the collar, was a small bit of embroidery, a tiny little C stitched with blue thread that was the same color as her eyes. "Will Beck found it by the river, caught up in a bush. There's blood on it," she choked.  
  
Staring at the cloth in his hands, the reddish spot that covered a part of the torn shirt, Neil shook his head. "No," he said at last, finding his voice only after a deep search of his heart. "It's not true, she's not dead."  
  
"Neil," Alice began, her own heart breaking.  
  
"No, Alice!" he yelled, his eyes wild as he met the Quakers silent gaze.  
  
"Neil,"  
  
"Margaret came back," he cried. "I didn't love her half as much as I love Christy but even she came back." The two stared at each other, silence unable to fill the air as much as the memory of that night filled it. "I can't believe it Alice, I just can't." Pausing he looked down at what once had been a sparkling shirt. "Not Christy," he whispered at last. "Not like this..."  
  
Alice stared at the giant of a man who stood before her. The nightmare of that night so many years ago had played itself out yet again. A woman they had both loved, lost to the river. Only this time there would be no coming back to haunt their lives the way Margaret had. The river had stolen the brightest star of Cutter Gap. No thing and no one would ever be the same. "Neil," Alice said again, her voice soft; the evidence of her pain visible in the lines of her face and heard in the tremor of her voice. Before her eyes a man of superior strength, a man who held himself together in the toughest of situations and under the most extreme amounts of pressure, collapsed into a chair, weeping, as would a little boy.   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
With a sudden jerk Christy awoke, the pain that had been burning before now flamed with a new vengeance and she wished she could scream but her throat was too dry and tight to scream or make any noise other than a groan of pain. Shivering against the frigidness of the cave wall aggravated her wounds and tears fell freely from her eyes. Opening them as much as she could, even the minimal light from the moons glow feeling like the brightest rays of the harshest summer day, Christy looked around and caught sight of Margaret watching her. Taking a breath to speak Margaret fell into a coughing fit, raising her hand to her mouth. When it finally stopped and her hand fell away Christy saw that there was blood on her hands.  
  
"Don't you fret," Margaret growled with a raspy voice. "I'll make sure you die before I do." Fresh fear rose in Christy's heart, a panic swelling from within even as she fought to control it. Closing her eyes she laid still, her mind active as she prayed to God, begging him to deliver her from the hands of her tormentor. "Oh no you don't!" Margaret screeched as she crossed the cave and planted her foot in Christy's midsection again. "You are not going to start praying, not while I'm here! God!" she barked with laughter that was so evil Christy felt a cold fear freeze her heart. "There is no way God can save you from me. They all think your dead," she gloated. "They found your lovely little shirt all torn and bloody in the river. You're dead to them, just the way I told you they would believe. No, no, little girl... you are mine now."  
  
Kneeling by Christy's trembling body Margaret took out a white handkerchief and reached toward Christy's face. Flinching back Christy had nowhere to go and waited for Margaret to strike her. The soft strokes that she soon felt were so gentle she could barely feel them at all. "You're all mine now, and soon, you're going to wish to your precious God that you had never even heard of a little place called Cutter Gap." The strokes that had begun as gentle and soft became increasingly harder until Margaret's nails began to scratch and tear at the skin on Christy's face and neck. As suddenly as it had begun it was over and Margaret had backed away to the other side of the cave once more, hunched down against the wall, staring at Christy. Weeping silently, both from pain and from fear, Christy had to struggle to hear Margaret's words.  
  
"You never should have come," she said. "You don't belong here, this is my home. He doesn't love you, he loves me, married me. You don't deserve him; he can't love you. He couldn't love me anymore, always leaving me to go take care of his patients. Always leaving me alone. How was I supposed to stay happy, cooped up in that awful little cabin with its locked doors and empty rooms?" Rocking on her heels Margaret's words become lost to Christy; the incoherent mumbling's too soft for her to hear anymore. Lying on her side, dizzy, nauseous, pain filling her innards from where Margaret had kicked her, Christy prayed one more time for God to deliver her from this nightmare before she lost consciousness, the pain and exhaustion too much for her to fight any longer.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
How long had she been missing?  
  
Christy had no idea; she had lost track of time while she drifted in and out on consciousness. Margaret seemed in no hurry to be done with her. Sometimes her hands were heavy; blows connecting with her body like rocks. But other times they were soft like a friend's caress. Christy never knew which one would come next never knew what Margaret's hands would do to her the next time they connected with her body. Lying on the ground, shivering, each tremor sending a painful spasm through her body Christy closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep, there the pain would finally go away. She no longer cared whether or not she had a concussion, whether or not she would wake up if she went to sleep, she only wanted the pain to stop.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Reins in his hand Neil walked along the path beside Charlie, a slow pace set to the heaviness in his heart. He wasn't sure where they were heading or what they would find there; Neil was only walking. Tears still threatening to fall from his eyes as he remembered the shirt he had held in his hands, the faded bloodstain where the river had washed most of it away, Neil stumbled over a root in the road and cursed it for lying in his path. Kicking it with his boot his anger went unsatisfied and Neil kicked it again, yelling. "She did nothing!" he yelled. "Nothing but try and make this a better place and you killed her for it!"  
  
Tripping over the root as he kicked it for a third time Neil lost his balance and fell against a tree that stood nearby. Hanging his head he felt the tears begin anew. "Please," he whispered. "Bring her back the way you brought Margaret back. I beg of you... I'll do whatever you want; just bring Christy back. I can't loose her, not like this!"  
  
Though his words were whispered they echoed in the woods, falling on the ears of the one whom watched him. Anger filled her chest, blinding her vision as she ran up the small hill to the mouth of the cave; furious at what she had witnessed she stormed into the cave. Lashing out with her foot she caught the beaten women in her midsection once more, Christy crying out against the pain. "Shut up!" Margaret yelled. "You did this! You made him turn to your God! Neil never believed, he refused, but you made him do it!"  
  
As Margaret kicked Christy her voice raised with every word until it screeched loud, reverberating from the walls of the cave, flowing out of the entrance to the small cave and through the forest to reach Neil's ears. Confused he looked up and around, trying to place the yells of a woman. There was no one around but the screeching had to be coming from somewhere. Moving in and out between the trees he came to the mouth of a cave and was about to enter when something rushed him from within. Taken by surprise he flung the creature away even as he realized it was Margaret. Trying at the last minute to keep a hold of her they both tumbled to the ground, an entangled mass of legs and arms, he trying to get up and she trying to inflict the pain that his prayer to God had inflicted on her. More than once her fists connected with him until her coughing took over, her body jerking in a spasm against the abuse she had put it through.  
  
"Margaret?" Neil approached her with concern for the red blood that he saw on her lips, flowing out from between them in a small river. "Let me help you," he said, the doctor in him pushing forward even as the man in him was repulsed by everything he saw before him, the woman she had turned herself into.  
  
"Rot in..." she began before another spasm took over preventing her from finishing her curse. As she lay on the forest floor Margaret knew her time had come. This was it; she was dying. With her dying breath she inflicted one last bit of pain on the man who had turned his back on her. "She was gonna marry the preacher," Margaret wheezed before her head lolled back, eyes staring unseeingly at the clouds above them. Placing his fingers to her throat Neil felt for a pulse he knew was gone. With a gentle hand he closed her eyes but found that he was unable to mourn her as he thought he should. Getting to his feet he sighed and headed into the cave, wondering what she had been hiding there for. As he entered the cave Neil's heart stopped cold at the sight of the bloody, broken body trembling on the ground at his feet.  
  
"Christy!"  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
She heard him call her name and her heart soared that someone had found her, someone who could protect her from Margaret. Neil would take care of her; he would make the pain stop like he always did. Crossing the distance from the cave entrance to her side in one stride his heart plunged deep into his chest as he saw her a little more clearly. Dropping to his knees Neil reached out to examine Christy only to have her shrink away from his touch, her face twisting in fear. "Please don't," she whispered with a trembling voice.  
  
His voice thick with concern Neil tried to reach out for her, to try and access the damage inflicted on her small frame, only to have her flinch back again, cowering under his hand like a puppy that was expecting a beating. "Christy, I need to examine you," he whispered to her, his heart breaking at the fear in her eyes, fear of him.  
  
Her head told her he wouldn't hurt her, in her mind she knew it was the truth, but her heart couldn't escape the fear of seeing that had coming at her from above. 'It's Neil,' she told herself, 'Neil won't hurt me.' But still her heart was seized by the fear of his approaching hand, remembering all the pain that the other hands had brought with it.  
  
Wondering what Margaret had done to Christy to instill such fear in the young woman Neil knew that he had to gain her trust again before he could attempt to heal her wounds. Lying down on the cold ground next to Christy Neil placed his hand in her sight, just a few inches away from her. She tensed at the sight of it but didn't try to move away. Raising her eyes to meet his for a moment she glanced back and forth between his hand and his blue eyes that were filled with fear and concern. But within those eyes, the bluer than blue orbs that stared back at her, Christy could also see his joy at finding out she was alive, the love that flowed out from them. His eyes were patient, kind, and Christy began to relax, becoming used to the presence of his hand so close to her.  
  
Seeing that she had relaxed Neil inched his hand a little closer, waiting with the patience he had shown her time and again while standing on the riverbank of his fishing spot. When she was finally comfortable with his hand being as close as it was he would move it a little closer, eventually his fingertips were resting against her shoulder, the gentlest of brushing's against her skin. Christy froze at the feel of his fingertips on her shoulder; her chin trembling in fear of that pain she knew would come. With her heart threatening to beat itself out of its place in her chest she closed her eyes, a small whimper escaping her lips as she waited for the pain to begin.  
  
Neil's heart broke when he heard the whimper escape her lips, realizing that she was waiting for him to hurt her. Not moving his hand Neil began to whisper to her, nothing words, but his tone filled with idea how long, she stopped whimpering, her chin stopped trembling. After a few more moments her eyes opened to meet his again and Neil could see that she was no longer afraid of him touching her shoulder. Gently he began to stroke her shoulder, softly brushing the pad of his thumb in gentle movements. She tensed once more at the movement but he waited her out and Neil was rewarded for his patience when she relaxed. Still talking to her Neil began to ask questions, trying to gauge what was injured, where it was that she was hurting. With simple yes or no questions he was able to surmise that her head and midsection were injured the most.   
  
"Christy, I need to examine you," he whispered to her. "I need to see what's been hurt so that I can fix it. But it means that I'll have to touch you," he said with as soft a voice as he cold muster, his throat tight with the emotion of seeing her in such pain, pain that had hadn't been able to stop. Christy stared at him, her big blue eyes glazed over with pain, her lower lip trembling with indecision and fear. In her head she knew Neil could be trusted, she cold remember the times she had done so in the past, but her heart; her heart was scared. Staring at him, feeling the soft strokes of his thumb on her shoulder, skin to skin, Christy could feel the warmth, the tenderness, and the love that he was showing, offering, with his one simple act. Putting her at ease, letting her see for herself that he wasn't going to hurt her.   
  
Her heart screamed 'NO!'  
  
Her head whispered 'Yes.'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
It was Neil's eyes that made her decision. The blue eyes that peered back at her only a little ways away; so close she could see the little flecks of deep blue within the lighter shade. Those blue eyes that she had seen snap with anger and spark with laughter stared at her now with a misty haze of pain heartache, and despair. But above all else, even above the concern and the fear, Christy saw an overwhelming joy. What once had been lost to him was now found. It was the joy of the children that she saw within his eyes that made her decision.  
  
With the slightest of movements Christy nodded her head, a move that was barely perceptible in the dim light of the cave. Seeing her nod Neil released the breath he had been holding. Slowly he shifted to his knees and lightly pressed his hands to Christy's stomach and lower abdomen. Even as she moaned in pain Neil' worst fear was confirmed. He'd have to operate. Bending over her hear Neil opened her eyes, peering at them now with the skill of a doctor. He could see the haziness, the delayed reactions, and the expanded irises. It was obvious to him that she had a concussion and he was amazed that she wasn't already in a coma.   
  
Christy lay still through his examination, feeling the gentle touch of his probing hands and knew, even when he caused her to moan in pain, that she was safe. His hands were causing pain, yes, but they weren't inflicting it. His words were soft and kind, comforting her against the terror that had been a living nightmare. "I'm going to get Charlie so we can go back to the mission," he told her. "Christy?"  
  
Looking down he saw that her eyes were closed. Putting a finger to her neck he felt the slow pulse beating beneath her pale skin and breathed a sigh of relief. She was unconscious. Quickly he fled the cave stopping only after he had passed the motionless body on the ground. Margaret. The bile rose in the back of Neil's throat as he glared at her. Even dead she still managed to rile him, to force his anger to rise past all the barriers Neil had placed over his Scottish temper. Turning he reached for Charlie's reins. Let her lie there, Neil had to save the life of a woman who had held a place in every heart in the cove; a life Margaret had tried to extinguish.  
  
Bringing Charlie to the mouth of the cave Neil removed his jacket as he re-entered the small cave. Lifting the unconscious woman into a sitting position he gently wrapped her in his jacket, the large article of clothing nearly swallowing her whole. As gently as he could, knowing he had to be careful of her wounds, Neil lifted Christy into his arms and emerged from the cave. Now came the real challenge. How was he supposed to mount Charlie and keep a firm yet gentle hold on Christy? Standing before his old friend Neil tried to think of a way but found it was impossible to do without doing further, and possible life threatening, damage to Christy. He'd have to walk. Cradling Christy in his arms he set out towards the mission, stepping as gently, yet as swiftly, as he could.  
  
Walking though the forest Neil kept an eye on the path but his gaze kept drifting to the beaten and bloody woman in his arms. Her face was a swirling mixture of reds, blues, blacks, and deep purples. Along one cheek and part of her neck he saw what looked like claw marks and Neil realized part of what Margaret had done. Once again his stomach lurched at the thought of what had happened to the innocent young woman who had come to his home to teach the equally innocent children. Neil's heart cried, it wept for everything that had happened, what he knew and, even more so, what he did not know. What other tortures had Margaret committed, what travesties had she inflicted on Christy? And most of all...  
  
Why?  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting in the mission parlor, trying to read her Bible but finding it impossible, Alice's mind kept straying towards the empty schoolhouse. It was Tuesday; the building should have been alive with the laughter and singsong voices of the children. But instead it stood silent, empty, a testimony of what had been lost to the cove; the heart of the children was gone. Tears threatened to overwhelm her once more and Alice refused to allow them to spring free of her eyes. Her heart ached for the young woman who's smiling blue eyes she would no longer see each morning, the teacher who had taught so many people other than the children. Christy had taught Neil to love again, she had taught Fairlight to read, Opal had been given a new hope through little Iris; so many people had been touched by her gentleness, her zeal for life. She was a bright star that was forever darkened from the Cove sky.  
  
Needing to do something to occupy her mind Alice stood and went to grab a scrub brush and bucket to scour the mud from the floor by the doorway. Standing at the pump her attention was diverted when she saw Neil emerge from the forest, Charlie following behind him and a limp body in his arms. "Neil?" she called to him, her voice tinged with concern and curiosity.  
  
"Clear and scrub the table Alice, I need to operate!"  
  
Hurrying to do as he asked Alice disappeared inside; wondering who the person was that needed Neil's skills, his gifts as a healer. As she was finishing she heard his boots climbing up the stairs with heavy steps under the burden of the woman or man he carried. Turning to get a table for his instruments Alice turned away as Neil set the person on the table and began to unwrap their body, exposing them to the world again. Turning back from setting up a second table Alice's eyes fell upon the beaten, bloody, bruised face of the injured person Neil had carried into the mission. She saw the smooth creamy skin that was paled under the crimson flow of blood streaming from the many cuts and deep wounds on her face. Soft locks of brown hair were matted to her face, clinging in the dried rivulets of blood from long ago wounds.  
  
"Oh dear Lord..." she breathed, unable to think of anything else, her mind blank. Turning from setting up his instruments Neil saw Alice staring, wide-eyed, at Christy's unconscious body, her time hardened eyes filling with tears at the sight of the broken woman. Placing a firm hand on her shoulder Neil turned Alice around to face him.   
  
"I will tell you everything I can Alice, but right now I need your help to save her life. I need you to undress her so that I can operate on her abdomen." With a shake Alice closed off her emotions, walling them up for another time. Neil was right, now she was needed to help save the young woman in desperate need of medical attention. Quickly she went to find a clean sheet so that Neil cold operate on Christy all the while she could retain her modesty. While his back was turned, sterilizing his utensils, Alice removed the last of Christy's clothing and covered her with the sheet. At the sight of the deeply colored bruises and contusions Alice wanted to weep all over again but she reigned herself in, calling upon God to help keep her calm and collected when all she wanted to do was fall apart. By the time Neil turned to begin the operation Alice was back in control of her heart. Watching as he made the first incision she was soon too caught up in the duties of being his nurse to worry about her emotions.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Hours passed; Neil had done everything he could to help Christy and now it was up to her to fight to stay alive. With Alice's help they had moved the young woman up to her bedroom and settled her into the bed before Alice alone dressed her in a nightgown and covered her with a quilt. Sitting on opposite sides of the bed Alice begged Neil to tell her what he knew, how he had found Christy. "I was heading home," he sighed wearily, rubbing a hand over his tired face. "I heard a noise coming from somewhere and when I went to search for the source I found a little cave hidden behind some bushes. As I looked inside something came flying out at me. Alice... it was Margaret. She was out of control, attacking me with everything she had. But she was too sick. A coughing bout took over and her heart gave out. She's dead Alice."  
  
Closing her eyes for a moment Alice begged God to forgive her daughter for living a life without Him. Reaching for Christy's hand, a reminder of what she still had, Alice nodded for Neil to continue.  
  
"I went into the cave to see if I could find out why she had been hiding there." Neil paused, closing his eyes against the rage that filled his heart when he remembered what he had seen. When he continued his voice was thicker, his tone angrier. "She was lying on the ground, her hands tied behind her, ankles tied together. It was freezing in the cave and she was trembling, dressed only in her undergarments. I went forward to help her and when I reached out to touch her she shrank away from me. She was afraid, terrified that I was going to hurt her. I could see it in her eyes, Christy knew in her head that I wouldn't harm her but she was still fearful. I lied down on the ground next to her and tried to show her that I wasn't going to hurt her. When an animal is caught in a trap you have to gain its trust before you can help it."  
  
"That's how she was Alice. Like an animal that's caught in a trap. She didn't know who to trust terrified that more pain would come. I put my hand in her sight but kept it away from her. When she got used to seeing it, when she saw that I wasn't going to hurt her I moved it a little closer, inch by inch until I could touch her shoulder." Neil's eyes glazed over with pain as he heard her whimper ringing in his ears. "She was so afraid Alice. I can still hear her cries, her whimpers. They keep playing over and over in my head. Every time I close my eyes and can still see her, lying on the ground, trembling, bloody, broken, beaten."  
  
Alice reached over Christy with he free hand and squeezed Neil's trembling one. "It's over now, Neil. Christy is home; thee have brought her back to safety. Everything will be all right, thee will see."  
  
"No Alice, that's just it. This is far from over."  
  
Alice looked at him with confusion. Christy was home, she was hurt, yes, but she would heal. Margaret was dead; she couldn't hurt anyone ever again. What was left? "I don't know what Margaret did to her exactly. I have a good guess from the injuries but I can't say for sure everything that happened. But I can tell you this..." Neil met Alice's eyes with a fierce determination. "Whatever Margaret did to Christy has altered her. When I found her it took me hours to get near enough to examine her. She was terrified of me. In her head she knew I wouldn't hurt her but her heart couldn't believe."  
  
"Christy's heart has forgotten how to trust."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting at the table in the dining room Alice waited for David and Ruby Mae to settle into their chairs. They had returned from their work in the cove, repairing the O'Teale's leaky roof, a few moments ago and saw Neil standing by the fireplace, deep in conversation with Alice about what would happen when Christy awoke. Knowing that they needed to be told everything Alice had asked them to join her at the table while Neil disappeared upstairs. "Alice?"  
  
Smiling at David Alice took a deep breath to begin. "There is a patient upstairs who is very bad off. She was attacked and needed an operation that Neil and I performed earlier this afternoon. She is sleeping at the moment but when she wakes there are a few things thee will need to know about her condition."  
  
"As I told thee she was beaten very badly, she will be in pain for quite some time and will be confined to the bed until Neil deems her fit to move around. As a result of the attack she is terrified to be touched. When thee are in the room with her thee must be careful not to move too quickly as well as to keep thy hands away from her. I know thee will wish to touch her but thee must not." Alice watched as both David and Ruby Mae nodded. Though confused by Alice's directions they trusted her and would do everything they could to help. "There is one more thing." Taking a deep breath she took each of their hands in her own, meeting their eyes, searching them for a sign of what their reactions would be to the news. "The woman is Christy."  
  
No sooner was the name out of her mouth than David's hand was yanked from hers and the lanky young preacher flew up the stairs three at a time. Running into the room he saw with his owns eyes that Alice's words were true. There, lying unconscious in the bed, was the woman he loved with all of his heart. Dropping to his knees he pulled her limp hand into his own and pressed it to his cheek. "Christy!" he whispered, his heart soaring with emotion as he realized the truth.  
  
Christy was alive. Kneeling next to her David was oblivious to the pain that crossed Neil's face, though Alice saw it as she stood in the doorway with a silent Ruby Mae, the young woman overcome with emotion. Watching the pain flicker in his eyes for a moment before he squashed it out Alice knew without a doubt how much Neil loved the young teacher. Thinking back to the night that he had wept in her arms when he had finally admitted to himself that she was dead Alice was reminded of how powerful such a small woman was. She had brought Neil, a giant of a man, to his knees that night. Alice prayed that God would find a way to work everything out, that in the end it would be as His will intended, whichever answer, whichever man, it may be.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting in the silent room, listening to her breath in and out, David tried to focus on his sermon but found it impossible. He kept watching her, touching her hand to reassure himself that she truly was here, alive, with him. As he watched her David's heart leapt for joy when she began to blink and move around a little. Baby blue eyes blinked open and met his own dark ones. Those eyes, the blue diamonds that had sparkled at him so many times, filled with tears, with fear, before his very eyes and David's heart began to sink. Knowing he had to reassure her, to tell her that she was safe, David took her hand in his and smiled gently.  
  
The feel of a hand on hers froze Christy's heart with fear; cold terror gripping it tightly and she closed her eyes. Where was Neil? He had promised her she would be safe; where was he, why had he left alone? Christy's chin began to tremble and she opened her eyes once more to see David hovering above her smiling at her. 'It's David,' she thought to herself. 'David won't hurt me... its only David.' Over and over she repeated it to herself but it was no use. The fear that had gripped her heart was spreading over her and soon her whole body was beginning to tremble, the movement pulling at the stitching on her stomach. Her steady even breaths became short gasps of pain and fear.  
  
Seeing the change, not knowing what was going on, David dropped her hand and ran to the doorway, yelling for Neil to come quickly. A pounding sounded on the stairs and seconds later Neil passed through the doorway, immediately taking his place by Christy's side. Knowing he couldn't touch her until she knew it was he Neil spoke to her trying to get her to open her eyes again. Hearing his voice Christy cracked open one of her eyes and, seeing him sitting there, she opened them both as tears fell freely.  
  
"It's all right, Christy," he whispered to her, his tone soothing as an herbed balm. Slowly, letting her see his hands first, Neil gently began to rub her shoulder as he had in the cave, his thumb softly brushing her shoulder with gentle strokes. After some time she began to calm down again and Neil sighed with relief. Telling her exactly what he was going to do Neil examined her eyes, searching for a sign of the concussion. As the doctor examined her head David, Ruby Mae and Alice looked on from the foot of the bed. Needing to let her know he was there for her, needing to be connected to her again, David reached out and stroked her foot, gently, letting her know he was there to support her.  
  
As Neil examined her he saw her suddenly tense up again, her eyes closing, chin trembling, a low whimper escaping her lips, so low he almost missed it. Worried at the sudden change he saw a movement from the corner of his eyes and looked to see David touching her foot through the covers. "Blast it man!" he hissed. "Don't touch her!" Keeping his voice low Neil hissed the command to David, motioning for Alice to get them out of the room. While the Quaker did as he motioned Neil turned his attention back to Christy. With David gone, his hand no longer touching her, she calmed once more and opened her eyes to see Neil peering down at her.   
  
"What happened?" she whispered.  
  
"I brought you back to the mission. Alice and I had to operate on you to stop the abscess that was spreading in your abdomen. I need to examine the stitches, Christy. Can I touch you there?" he asked, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Seeing Alice re-enter the room and shut the door Christy nodded. Neil turned his back while Alice shifted the blanket and nightgown all the while taking care not to touch Christy, so that once more Christy would remain modest while Neil examined her. Tapping him on the shoulder she stepped back and Neil turned to examine the stitching. "It's pulled a little," frowning, "But nothing too bad. Christy you have to take care to stay as still as possible. I'll do everything I can to keep people from touching you but if they do you need to try and stay still, okay?"  
  
Nodding at him Christy's face was solemn and Neil wished he could make her laugh and smile once more. But first they needed to get a few things out in the open. Settling the blanket back over Christy he sat on the edge of the bed and Alice took the chair he had been sitting in. Taking her wrist in his hands to feel her pulse Neil said what was on his mind. "Christy, I need you to tell me what happened, everything fro the moment I saw you in the schoolyard to the moment I found you in the cave. Don't leave anything out, Lass." Christy opened her mouth to protest but no sound came out. Maybe it would help; perhaps telling someone would help her to get over her fear of people touching her.   
  
"I went to Gods Fist for a little while, trying to think over everything that had happened. When I got back to the mission everyone was asleep so I went up to my room. All night I tried to sleep but I couldn't, I just kept thinking. By the time morning had come I still couldn't sleep so I went for another walk. I slipped out while everyone was still asleep and went for a walk. While I was in the forest I heard a twig snap behind me but before I could turn around something hit my head and I fell. When I woke up I...I... I was..." taking a deep breath Christy fought the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "I was in the cave. My hands were tied behind me and my feet were tied as well. My head hurt so much, I was dizzy and nauseous. I tried to get up but I couldn't move, it hurt too much."  
  
"That was when... umm... that was when my kidnapper came back."   
  
Christy didn't want to hurt Alice any further by telling her whom it was that had done this. But Alice smiled at her, hands folded neatly in her lap. "Thee need not hide who it was Christy, Neil has already told me 'twas Margaret that hurt thee."  
  
"I'm so sorry Miss Alice," Christy whispered.  
  
"Child thee has nothing to be sorry for!" Alice comforted.  
  
Taking a moment to collect herself Christy continued with the story. "She was coughing when she came into the cave but it stopped and when she passed by she kicked me in the stomach. She said that now I knew how it felt to have your husband run after another woman." Neil winced. "She drank from a flask for a few hours and then went outside to do something. I knew I had to get away so I tried to free my hands and feet. When I got my ankles free I left that cave. It hurt so much but I kept going, it was my only chance to get away from her. I made it a little ways away when she found me. Margaret dragged me back to the cave and tied me up again. She took my clothing and said that she would make sure the cove thought I was dead. That she would toss them in the river for Neil to find and that he would think I was dead. She hit me over the head and I blacked out again."  
  
"This time when I came to she was in the corner of the cave coughing up a lot of blood. She told me not to worry that she would kill me before she died. I... I knew she meant it." The tears she had been fighting began to fall in silent tracks down her face. "I prayed that God would help me. Somehow she knew I was praying and she started kicking me again, yelling and screaming that God couldn't save me now, not from her. All of the sudden she stopped. Margaret knelt beside me with a white handkerchief in her hand. She started to wipe away the blood. Her hands... they were so soft, almost like a caress. But soon they were scratching at my face and she was screaming again."  
  
Her face still remembered the pain of those nails and Christy's chin trembled.  
  
"But then she stopped. She looked so sad. I blacked out again but when I came to she was gone. It hurt too much to move; it hurt to breathe. I was lying there, praying that someone one would find me and take me home when she came back, screaming and kicking. She just kept kicking me, yelling that I had made him do it. That I had made him pray. She kept kicking and screaming and suddenly she was gone again. I didn't know what was going on. I heard voices but I thought it was my imagination until you entered the cave," looking at Neil, "You came and laid down next to me and that was when I knew I would be safe."   
  
As she finished her tale Christy's words became slurred together, her eyes drooping shut until she finally was asleep again, physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Tucking the quilt around her shoulders Neil brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears that still rested there, before turning to Alice. As hard as she had tried to fight them the tears had come, soaking her handkerchief. Raising her eyes to meet Neil's Alice saw that though his eyes were dry he was as affected by the story as she had been. They sat in silence for a few moments until Neil finally spoke.  
  
"She was right Alice," he said quietly. Alice waited for him to continue. "I did pray. I prayed that God would bring Christy back, that I would do anything if He did."  
  
Silence descended again as Alice took in his confession. "What made thee pray?" she asked after some time.  
  
"I don't know," shaking his head. "I tripped over a root and I lost it. I was just yelling but somehow it turned into a prayer. But He answered it Alice! I don't understand that. I have never turned to Him, never agreed with Him. With every thing I do I have fought Him but He answered it anyway. Why, Alice, why would God answer a prayer from someone like me?"  
  
"Because thee is a child to Him. Margaret was my daughter. As much as I hated her for all she had done to me and to those I care for I still love her, as she was my child. Even though thee turned thy back to Him, thy Father still loves thee, Neil. Now it is up to thee to accept his love and to make him a part of thy life." Turning to look at the sleeping woman Neil suddenly realized that any God who would give back the single most precious thing to him couldn't be as bad as he remembered.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
She could hear the crickets chirping under the night's moon and from the corner of her eyes she could see the pale beams filtering through the thin curtain that hung from the window. Everything ached, from her head to her little toe. But most of all her heart was in pain, aching to be held, to have someone softly brushing her hair away from her face the way her father used to do when she would wake up from a nightmare.  
  
But she couldn't.  
  
Every time someone came near Christy her heart froze in fear, as she had seen firsthand this morning. She knew in her head that David would never hurt her. Yet when she had felt his hands covering hers her heart had frozen mid beat. Her body had trembled at the feel of his soft skin against hers. Even when she had felt the weight of his hand over her foot through the blanket her heart had stopped beating, frozen in fear. Christy knew she had hurt David terribly; he was worried about her and he wanted to help but she couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching her, even a man she considered her friend.  
  
Except Neil.  
  
Frowning Christy stared at the dark ceiling, her mind in jumbles. Why was it that her heart didn't fear Neil's touch? Was it because he was the one who had found her? That he was the one who had made the pain go away? Perhaps, but Christy knew that it went deeper than that. Yes, he had instinctively reached for her when he had entered the cave. She had been afraid of him at that moment. But then, instead of picking her up and carrying her back to the mission to be healed he waited, taking the time to make her comfortable with his being there, with his hands near her, closer and close until eventually he was touching her, softly, gently. She had been scared, yes, but he had patiently proven to her that he would not hurt her, waiting until she was comfortable before pushing the limit again, giving her time to get used to the new barrier before breaking past it again.  
  
He had won her hearts trust.  
  
Would it always be like this? Her heart freezing up every time someone got too close? How could she teach the children if she couldn't touch them, couldn't wrap her arms around them and hug her dear little children close; both hugging and being hugged back? What good could she do if she couldn't teach the children? Of what use was she to the cove?  
  
"How's the head?"  
  
Startled she jumped in her skin, instantly regretting the movement as it reminded her of the wounds scattered over her body. Turning her head just a little she peered into the corner that the voice had come from and saw a large man sitting there, half hidden by the shadows. It was then that she smelled it; how had she missed the scent of pipe tobacco before now? "All right," she replied; her voice dry. "May I have some water?" Unfolding his large frame Neil stood and crossed the dark room, picking up a glass from the bureau as he passed it. Sitting on the very edge of the bed Neil held the rim of the cup to her lips, watching as Christy drank, the water passing over her dry lips, soothing her parched throat.   
  
"Not too much, Christy. I don't want to upset your stomach too soon. I know your thirsty but you can only have enough to wet your throat, nothing more." Pulling the cup away from her mouth he set it on the table next to the bed. "Let that settle first and then you can have some more."  
  
Lying in the bed, throat no longer as parched, she stared up at the man who sat beside her. In the shadows of the moons pale light he looked even older than she had ever seen him before. Tired, as though he had been fighting something for too long and could fight no more. "How do you feel?" he asked her softly.  
  
"Okay," she whispered back. "It hurts but not too bad."  
  
"Are you still afraid?"  
  
Closing her eyes for a moment Christy opened them again but could not meet his eyes. "I know that its over, I know she can't hurt me anymore."  
  
Neil gazed down at her, pale, sad, and he could still see the fear in her eyes. "I know what you know up here," he said pointing to his head. Lowering his hand to his heart he continued, "But what about in here?"  
  
Christy looked at the hand that was pointing to his heart. He knew, somehow he knew. It should have surprised her but it didn't. Neil could always tell what she was thinking, what she was feeling. It amazed her that he could read her that easily while he still remained a mystery to her. "I..." She didn't know what to say. Yes, her heart was still filled with fear. But at the same times no; not when he was with her like he was now. Blinking she changed the subject. "You look tired."  
  
He could see that she was avoiding his question and for now he let her. There were too many things she had to deal with to add one more to the pile. "I'll be all right, you don't need to worry about me."  
  
"Were you asleep?"  
  
"No," he said. A small smile crept onto his face. "But neither were you." Neil watched the barest hint of a smile flicker across her face before dying in that same second. It was hope. "What were you thinking about?"  
  
Christy's eyes fell. "David." Neil closed his eyes for a moment against the pain of the name she uttered. "I hurt him."  
  
"Christy, you didn't..."  
  
"Yes I did Neil," she interrupted, remembering the crestfallen look of the young man as Alice had escorted him and Ruby Mae from the room. "He was trying to be nice, trying to help and I turned him away."  
  
Neil shook his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Listen to me Christy. You have been through a horrifying ordeal at the hands of someone you had thought would not physically hurt you. That is not something that you can just pass over or forget. I know that in your head you know you can trust the people who are your friends. But I also know that in your heart your scared of them, of the fact that one day their hands will turn on you, that they will hurt you. Give it time."  
  
Christy stared at him. He really did know, she could see it in his eyes. "How, Neil?" she breathed in disbelief. "How do you always know what I'm thinking, what I feel?"  
  
Neil slowly raised one hand and brought it to the corner of her eyes, brushing away the first hint of a tear she hadn't realized was there. "It's your eyes, Lass. I can see everything in your eyes. I see the pain, the fear, the uncertainty, but I can also see the love that you have for your friends. I know that even through everything you've been through that you still love these people, that you hope and pray that you can overcome the fear that takes hold every time someone touches you."  
  
"The eyes are the windows to the soul, Christy. You can see everything in them." Staring up at him, speechless, Christy could see that he was right. Staring into Neil's soft blue eyes she knew, beyond a doubt that the eyes were the windows to the soul just as he had said.  
  
And Neil's soul was beautiful.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
"And then, Iopened the door'n saw that ya wazn't in yer bed I runned back down ta git Miz Alice soz she culd know ya waz missin'."  
  
Christy listened as Ruby Mae told the tale to her of how she had been discovered as missing. She could hardly believe that it had been a week ago, a week since her life had spun out of control. Lying in her bed, ribs aching, head pounding she wished that she could beg Ruby Mae to stop but Christy knew the girl would be offended. 'Besides,' she thought to herself. 'Pain is just one more reminder that I'm alive to be in pain.'  
  
"So Miz Alice told me ta go 'n' tell everyone ta come help look fer ya. I ran, Miz Christy, I ran s'hard I thought fer sure I waz gonna bust'a lung! But I kipt runnin' and..."  
  
"Ruby Mae, thee has chores to finish, I'm sure thee can finish thy story later tonight."  
  
"Yes'm," she said, scurrying out of the room.  
  
Smiling at Christy Alice set the tray down on the table and took Ruby Mae's place in the chair. "Dr MacNeill has given his consent for thee to have a small bowl of broth. It is weak, but it will nourish thee." Smiling weakly Christy struggled, even with Alice's help, to sit up, just a little, in the bed. Winded from the effort she needed a few moments before she could accept the first spoonful of the weak broth. "I know thee is not comfortable to be touched yet but thee is also not strong enough to hold thy own bowl either. I give thee my word I will not touch thee, but I shall feed thee, is that all right?"  
  
Christy gave a small sigh of relief. "Thank you Miss Alice. Thank you for understanding."  
  
Alice smiled at her. "I would be willing to understand anything so long as it meant thee would be here with us once more. That is all that matters to me, child."  
  
Christy fell silent as she listened to Alice's words, simple and true words that buried themselves deep within Christy's heart. They sat in silence while the older woman fed Christy the weak broth, not stopping until the small bowl was empty. Christy's stomach felt heavy but she didn't feel sick. It was the first meal she'd had in a week. Setting the bowl aside Alice folded her hands in her lap and watched Christy begin to drift off to sleep again. This afternoon was sure to bring some excitement to the mission house. The Huddleston's would be arriving any moment with David and Jeb. Alice could still remember the first times she had met Mr. and Mrs. Huddleston. William had been a friend from the beginning, as soon as she realized whom it was that Christy had run after that is. But Julia...   
  
Alice sighed. Julia had been a painful reminder of whose daughter Christy really was. It hadn't taken Alice long to feel for Christy as she would a daughter, the young woman's zeal for life and playful spirit seemed to rejuvenate her own love for life and all its pretty things. Christy had made a place in her heart that had been torn to shreds when young Will had found her shirt in the river. It had hurt worse than when Margaret left. Margaret and Alice fought constantly, but Christy and Alice loved each other as a mother and daughter should. Sighing again Alice stood, collecting the bowls to take back to the kitchen. She always toadied to the young.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
A commotion from downstairs woke Christy from her slumber and she wondered what was happening. As she lay there listening to the voices her heart began to beat faster, 'It couldn't be,' she thought to herself. Moment's later feet hurried up the stairs and the door opened. "Daddy..." she breathed in disbelief.  
  
Tears sprang to William's eyes as he saw his little girl lying in the bed, bruised and broken, pain filling her eyes. Crossing the distance to her he nearly forgot Alice's words and pulled her into a hug. Just in time he remembered and sat on the edge of the bed instead. Staring at Christy he was unable to speak, too overcome by what had almost happened. A strangled cry rose from the doorway and Christy saw her mother entering the room. She too began to cry at the sight of her daughter. Sitting on the bed, Alice's warning gone clear out of her head Julia leaned down and hugged her daughter tightly. William watched as Christy's eyes suddenly filled with fear before she closed them, her face screwing up with pain and fear. His heart broke. Christy was afraid of her own mother's touch. What had happened to his innocent little girl? What monster had done this to her?  
  
As Julia sat back she saw the pain on Christy's face and realized she must have upset her injuries, immediately guilt washed over her. "Oh Christy, love, I'm so sorry!"  
  
"It's okay Mother."   
  
Christy's voice was soft; she forced herself to calm down. Thanks to Neil's warning she had gotten the trembling under control but it took her a moment to calm her heart down. Her head kept repeating to her that it was her mother; it was her mother. Opening her eyes she smiled a forced smile at her mother, hoping she wouldn't see the fear in her eyes only the pain. Turning her gaze to her father again Christy's eyes locked with his and she knew. He had seen everything. "Julia," William said to his wife. "Please go see if the doctor has left something we can give to Christy for the pain." Fleeing the room, waiting until she was down the stairs to burst into tears Julia sat on a chair in the corner, heart breaking, sobbing for her daughter. William waited until Julia was gone to turn back to Christy. She tried to speak but he silenced her with his hand hovering in the air. "Tell me what happened."  
  
With slight movements Christy shook her head. "No Daddy."  
  
"Christy,"  
  
"No," she said with more force than before. "You don't need to know that. I was hurt but I'm getting better. That's all."  
  
"Christina Rudd Huddleston I just watched you shake with fear when your own mother hugged you," his voice beginning to break under the stress of his emotions. "Tell me what happened to make you fear your own mother's touch."  
  
Closing her eyes Christy begged God to help her father understand. "I can't Daddy. I know you want to know but I can't tell you; not yet. Please try to understand. I know that mother would never hurt me, it's just that... she touched me too fast. It overwhelmed me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Reaching for his hand Christy hesitated for a moment before she laid her hand over his, her touch so gentle that he could barely feel it. "When Neil found me he tried to touch me. I couldn't let him, I moved away. In my heart I knew that if someone were going to touch me it would mean that they were going to hurt me. I knew in my mind that he would never hurt me but I couldn't convince my heart that it was true. So he laid down on the ground next to me and he inched his hand towards me a little at a time."  
  
"When I would become scared he stopped, letting me get used to it before he would start again. Then he was so gentle with me, he didn't do anything that would make me afraid or hurt me. He gave me the time I needed to trust his touch again. But he did it little by little. Mother didn't, and that's when I get scared. I know you want to hold me and I..." her voice broke as the tears finally fell. "I want to be held! But I just can't. Not yet."  
  
Lowering his eyes to the soft hand that was laid upon his William slowly turned his over so that they were palm to palm. He could feel Christy tense and he stopped, never closing the grip to hold her hand, just letting it lay over his. "I can wait, Girlie. You're alive and you'll be okay, I know you will. That's all I care about."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Five adults sat in the main room of the mission house, fire blazing, silence descending at the latest words to be spoken. Shock hung in a cloud surrounding the three people of Cutter Gap after listening to Julia's words. Alice had thought it might happen, she wasn't surprised to hear them, but hearing it spoken aloud was difficult all the same. David was shocked that it was going to be so soon, but he agreed with their decision. And Neil...   
  
"You can't do this," he told them. "She needs to be here where I can tend to her wounds. Taking her back to Asheville to be cared for by city doctors of the old school will only end up hurting her."  
  
"Neil, we know that you're worried about her but we simply cannot leave her here. Not after this. Sickness is one thing, yes of course we worried about her when she told us about the scarlet fever, but we almost lost our only surviving daughter at the hands of some madman. Christy can't even talk about it to us, she can't even tell me, her own father, what happened."  
  
Alice and Neil shared a glance. They knew Christy had been upset by the events but why hadn't she told her parents what had happened?  
  
"Please understand, Doctor MacNeill," Julia began. "We almost lost our daughter at the hands of violence. I, we, refuse to leave her here when she belongs at home. I never agreed with her coming here but I let her because I assumed she would be safe at a mission house. That is no longer true. I cannot leave her here to face the possibility that something like this may happen again."  
  
Silence fell again.  
  
Standing by the fireplace Neil wondered how he would react if this had happened to his own child. Forcing himself to be honest he had to admit, it would probably be the same. Hanging his head for a moment he studied the floor, trying to come to terms with the fact that he was about to loose Christy all over again. "All right," he said at last. "I'll make a list of what to do and what not to do to care for her. She'll need some medicine for the journey; I'll get it for you from my cabin. I have to ask that you wait a few more days, give Christy the chance to trust you again before you take her away. We can make special arrangements with the conductor for her transport since she won't be able to sit up. You'll have to do the same when you get to Asheville."  
  
William nodded. "I understand. We'll stay for a few more days, that should give us enough time."  
  
The matter decided Julia left the room, climbing the stairs to sit with Christy, the young woman sleeping from the effects of the medicine. William watched her leave before turning back to the group. Before he could say anything David got up and strode out of the mission house, needing some time to come to terms with what was happening. Not allowing either of them to leave William spoke to Alice and Neil. "Please, I need to know what happened to Christy. I saw you look at each other when I mentioned it so I know you know something. You must tell me what happened."  
  
Alice took a deep breath. Releasing it she met William's eyes. "Did Christy say why she would not tell thee?"  
  
"Only that she was hurt and that it was all I needed to know. She said that she couldn't tell me, but I got the feeling that it wasn't that she couldn't but rather that she wouldn't. I need to know what happened, to know that justice was served for what this madman did to my daughter. Now she say's she can't tell me so I'm looking to you to do it for her."  
  
"I believe," Alice began softly, speaking more to herself than to William. "That Christy may have beentrying to protect me."  
  
William frowned. "I don't understand. Why would shefeel the need to protect you?"  
  
"Christy and I have become very close, William. I feel for her as if she was my own daughter and I know that she too is very fond of me. She fears that I will be brought to blame for the actions of my daughter. Thee should know, it was my daughter that did this to Christy."  
  
Silence fell for a moment as he tried to accept what Alice had said. A woman had nearly killed his daughter. Not just any woman, but Alice's own blood. He could see how Christy would try to protect this information from them. She felt too much for Miss Alice to let them become angry with her. "Tell me." Between the two of them Alice and Neil told William everything that had happened, from the schoolyard to the moment they entered the door, not leaving out a single detail. At the end William sat on his chair, staring off at the fire, a blank look on his face, tears falling unheeded from his eyes. Closing his eyes he leaned forward, dropping his head into his hands, his mind replaying everything he'd just been told. Lifting his head after some time he met Alice's eyes.  
  
"I understand why Christy wanted to keep this from us." Leaning back once more he kept his eyes on Alice. "Since our last visit here, Julia has become quite jealous of you, Alice. She feels as though she is loosing her daughter to you. Not a letter comes in which Christy doesn't sing your praises. I know that Christy has always seen life through rose-colored spectacles, only seeing the poetry side of things as she once quoted of you in her letters. But it has been very hard for Julia to hear about someone who fills her shoes as well as you do. Since we found out what happened Julia has tried to pin the blame on anyone that she could. If she were to ever find out that it was your daughter that did this she would never forgive you. Christy has always been a peacemaker; to know that the two women she loves most were at odds with each other would simply tear her apart. Thank you for telling me what happened but I must ask that you do not tell Julia. I will make a story for her, one that rings as close to the truth as possible, but she must never find out that it was Margaret who did this. Never."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Keeping her eyes closed, though Christy was awake, she listened to the room and knew she wasn't alone; someone was in the room with her. It wasn't until she smelled the rich scent of pipe smoke that she knew who it was. Opening her eyes she saw that it was beginning to darken outside. She would miss the mountain sunsets while she was gone, mother had told her they were leaving in a few days for a visit to Asheville. But she knew that she would be back in time. This was her home. Once she got better she would come home and begin her life again. Outlined by the fading sun she saw Neil leaning against the doorframe of the terrace doors, pipe in hand; arm folded across his chest in support of the one holding the pipe, eyes staring out at the sunset. 'What is he thinking?' she wondered to herself. 'He looks sad.' Neil sighed and shifted his feet but he didn't turn to look at her leaving Christy to continue to speculate at the sadness that seemed to emanate from him. Watching him she realized that he wasn't just sad, he was resigned, as though he had given up on something. 'But what?' she wondered.  
  
"Why do you have to continue to bring this kind of pain to my life?" he said quietly. Unsure of who he was talking to Christy didn't respond; listening to him instead, hoping that he was speaking to the one person she had prayed so many times he would turn to. "Ma used to tell me you were loving but all you've shown me is pain. You took my parents before I was ready, you allowed me to lose my heart to a woman who would tear it to shreds time and again. And now, just when I thought I had finally found a woman I could love and who would love me for the rest of my life, you take her as well. Is this my punishment for turning my back on you for so many years? To live alone, knowing that the only woman I love is hundreds of miles away, living the life she was born to, making it impossible for her to live a shared life with me? There are times I wish I had never met her, never known the sweetness the was in life, the joy at waking each morning knowing that I'll see her that day. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But I'm not so sure of that. How am I supposed to live each day knowing what could have been, what never will be? I love her, with every ounce of my being. If you truly are the keeper of all knowledge then tell me, how am I supposed to live another day without her?"  
  
Christy's heart ached at the pain in Neil's voice yet at the same time it rejoiced. He was talking to God; Neil had finally turned his face to the warmth of Gods love. 'Oh Dear Lord,' she prayed silently. 'Let him find your love so that he may find the way to live each day in the world that you have so lovingly given to your people. I know he lives a hard life in these mountains, but I pray that you'll help him to find the beauty of the life you have given him.'  
  
'And God,' she continued. 'Help me as well. To which man does my heart belong?' But Christy already knew that answer. God had answered that the day he had helped her to see the beautiful soul of the man she loved. She had seen the pain and the heartache in his eyes, but beyond all of that she had seen something that made her heart soar. In those crystal windows to a beautiful soul she had seen the love that filled Neil's heart, love for her, only her. Christy had known right then to which man her heart belonged.  
  
"Neil," she whispered. Turning away from the window, his ears picking up the sound of her whisper, Neil closed the distance between them in one long stride and sat in the chair by her side. Gently he put the back of his hand to her forehead and cheek, feeling for a fever that was diminishing every day. Satisfied he smiled down at her.   
  
"You should be sleeping."  
  
"I want to watch the sunset."  
  
"You need rest," shaking his head.  
  
"Please Neil," she asked. "Only for a moment."  
  
Relenting, 'The fresh air would be good for her,' he rationalized with his doctor half as Neil drew back the covers and, taking care of her wounds, picked her up in his arms before striding out to the mission terrace. Leaning against the pole for support Neil held Christy in his arms, her arms around his neck, head resting in the crook of his shoulder, and together they watched the sunset. Who knew how long it would be until she saw another mountain sunset, 'Though hopefully not too long,' she thought to herself, and this one was perfect. Standing, in the place she called home, with the man she loved, on the verge of a new beginning, Christy's heart was at peace for the first time in quite some time. Just before the last ray of light disappeared behind the mountain Christy lifted her head to face Neil, blue meeting blue.  
  
"I love you."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting up in her bed Christy waited for her parents to settle themselves into their seats before she began. "When I first came here," she said softly, holding each of their hands in her own. "I didn't think I was going to make it. After only a few days I had my bags packed and I was ready to go home to you, to hang my head in shame and defeat that I had failed. I knew I wasn't cut out for life in these mountains. I was lying in my bed when Miss Alice came up to talk to me. We talked about God, and life. She told me some things from her first few years here and how she too had had a difficult time when she first began her work. But there was one thing that she said that always stuck with me. It was at the very end of our conversation. She asked me if I knew who I was. I thought about it for a moment and realized that I didn't. I knew that I was your daughter, and that I was George's sister, but I didn't have any idea who I was to myself."  
  
"I told Miss Alice that I wished I knew who I really was. Her reply has stuck with me since the moment she said it. She said 'But you can know. You're important, terribly important. Each of us is. You're unique. So is David. And Miss Ida. And Dr MacNeill. No one else in the world can fill David's place, or mine, or yours. If you don't do the work that's been given to you to do, that work my never get done.' I have thought about those words so many times since that day. But I didn't accept them into my heart. The next morning, bags packed, I headed out of the mission to walk to El Pano. But I stopped. There was one last thing I needed to do before I left. Mountie, you both have met her, had a little coat with all it buttons missing. I needed to give her those buttons back before I left, to give her something that no one else could. As I was sewing them onto her coat she came into the school and it was right then and there that she said her first word."  
  
"She said 'buttons'. It was the very first word I had ever heard her speak. And it was right then, at that very moment that I knew I couldn't leave. I was needed here, in the cove. The children needed me and I needed them just as much. When I came to the cove I didn't know who I was or what I was going to do with my life. But now I finally know, without a doubt, what my life is for. I will always be your little girlie and I will always love both of you with all my heart. But I am not your little child anymore. I'm a teacher. And my place is here, in Cutter Gap, with my students and the people who are my friends. Life in these mountains isn't easy. It's as far from easy as you can get. But it's what I want. It's the life I choose to live."  
  
Taking a deep breath Christy looked at her parents. "I won't be going back to Asheville with you tomorrow."  
  
Julia had listened to her daughter with a growing sense of dread and when the daughter's last words met the mother's ears that one little straw broke her back. "You don't have a choice in this Christy Rudd Huddleston!" she cried. "You are coming out of these godforsaken mountains like you should have a long time ago! You're only staying because you think you're in love with that country doctor. Well I heard your little conversation last night Christy."  
  
"Then you heard what he said to me in return, Mother." Christy's eyes stung at the thought of Neil's words to her the previous night. "I'm not staying because of Neil. Nor am I staying because of David, or Miss Alice. I am staying because of me. For the first time in my life I know who I am and what I want to do with my life and I am not going to give that up for anything or anyone. I know that you don't like me being here, I know that you're scared that something like this will happen again. And I can't guarantee that it won't. I can't promise you that I'll never get hurt again because no one knows that except for God. But I am not going to run, and I am not going to live my life in fear of what might happen. That is no kind of life."   
  
Christy sighed. "I love you mother, and you too daddy. I love you both with all of my heart but right now I need to do what's best for me. Taking me out of my mountains will destroy me. This is my home now and I won't leave it."  
  
William watched as Julia stood from the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her in anger. He knew he should go after her but the tears in Christy's eyes made him hesitate. "Tell me what happened, Girlie."  
  
Christy's chin trembled as she looked out the window to the spot they had watched the sunset together. Her heart had been torn to shreds last night when he had responded to her words, her hearts desire. Shaking her head she tried to dispel the memory and met her father's eyes.   
  
"It's not important, Daddy. You better go see to Mother. We can't afford to replace any broken water pitchers," said, trying to offer him a playful smile.  
  
Sighing he leaned down and kissed his daughters forehead, grateful she no longer tensed in fear when he touched her. "I'll talk to you later." Once he was gone Christy turned her head to look out the window again. Unnoticed tears slid down her cheeks as she remembered the words they had shared, her mind replaying the balcony scene from the previous night's tragedy.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting atop Goldie Alice waited outside the cabin, listening to the sounds from within. She could hear the sound of glass being broken followed by a long string of oaths that made her face burn. Never before had she known Neil to speak like that, not even when Margaret had returned. Something had him upset, riled to the point of being unable to control his fiery Scottish temper. Alice prayed she could figure out what before he unleashed its fury upon her for butting into his life. Dismounting she wrapped the reins around the hitching post and climbed the steps to Neil's cabin. The doorway already open she peered inside and saw Neil wrapping a bandage around his hand, blood seeping out from under it. "Neil!" she cried. Rushing to his side Alice ordered him to sit in the chair while she properly cleaned and bandaged his hand.  
  
Letting her bandage his hand Neil was silent all the while she worked. Unable to meet her eyes he stared off into a corner of his dark cabin. When Alice finished she sat down in one of the chairs and waited. It didn't take him long to speak. "What do you want Alice?"  
  
"I want to know why that happened," she replied pointing to his hand.  
  
"I broke a beaker, end of story."  
  
"No, Neil. Thee are very careful with thy beakers as thee cannot replace them easily. What happened last night?"  
  
"What makes you think anything happened last night?" he defied her.  
  
Alice sat back in silence for some time before answering him. "Christy has declared she will not return to Asheville with her parents." Lifting his head in surprise Neil stared at Alice with wide blue eyes but said nothing. "Needless to say her mother is furious and blames thee for Christy's decision."  
  
"That's ridiculous."  
  
"I know that," she said with even tones. "But what I do not know is why. What did thee say to her last night?" Neil's eyes narrowed, peering at Alice in suspicion. "Yes, I heard what Christy said to thee last night. When I realized what was happening I knew it was not my place to listen so I went inside. Less that ten minutes later thee stormed out of the mission and raced off on thy mount."  
  
Alice sat up straight and met Neil's gaze. "I know that thee love Christy, Neil. What I do not understand is why I found the girl in tears after thee left." A brief flicker of pain crossed Neil's face before he could stamp it out. "What happened between thee?"  
  
"It's none of your business Alice."  
  
"If it concerns Christy then it is my business, Neil. She refuses to talk about it but I can see that her heart is in pain. She intends to stay in the cove; thee will have to face each other eventually. I suggest thee mend thy fences Neil, before it is too late. If thee is not careful thee will lose her forever."  
  
Shifting in his seat Neil looked out the door. "I thought you wanted her to marry Grantland?"  
  
"Who Christy decides to marry is her own choice, I will not interfere in that matter." Alice stood and moved to the door to leave. Stopping she turned back to face Neil. "But we both know which of thee loves her more." With a pointed look she left the cabin, mounted Goldie, and headed back to the mission. Still sitting in his chair Neil replayed the previous night in his mind, wincing with each word he has tossed at the woman he loved. Shaking his head violently he stood and moved to clean up the glass he'd broken. No. He'd made the right decision. She'd see that soon enough.  
  
Then why did his heart feel as though it had broken in two?  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Standing in the doorway of her room Christy looked down the hallway and saw that the coast was clear. Carefully she inched down the hallway toward the stairs and down them as quickly as possible. Once she was on the first floor it was easier to move across the flat boards of the mission house and Christy made her way to the bookshelf in the main room. Finding the book she wanted Christy turned around to make her way back upstairs when she saw her father watching her with a deep frown on his face. "You know better than to be up right now, Christy," he told her.  
  
Smiling at William Christy motioned to the davenport. "Can we talk for a moment Daddy?" Sitting side by side Christy smiled when he hesitantly reached for her hand. Taking his in her own Christy met his eyes. "I know you are upset by my decision to stay in the cove."  
  
Sighing, "I can't say I'm to happy about it, no. But I understand what factored into your decision, Girlie. You've spent so much time here, too much time to just pick up and leave. Your heart is with these children. I can see it every time you mention them." Bringing her hand to his lips William gave her a fatherly kiss. "I'll never stop worrying about my little Girlie, no matter if you're with us in the city or out here in the mountains. It's a fathers job to worry."  
  
"Do you think Mother will ever forgive me?" Sighing again William didn't know how to answer and left the question to hang in the air. In silence they sat before the roaring fire, basking in the loving bond between a father and daughter.   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
"Why?"  
  
Christy swallowed the sigh that rose in her throat. "Because I don't love you like that David. You're like a big brother to me; a dear friend. I'm sorry, I can't marry you."  
  
Handing him the small velvet box Christy watched as he took it before striding out towards his bunkhouse. It had taken her a week to work up the courage to tell him and now that it was over she felt even worse than before. His face had filled with such hurt and sadness that Christy had felt tears stinging at the back of her eyes. Blinking them away she refused to allow herself to dwell on it. Carefully she descended the steps of the mission house and walked over to the school. Equally as carefully Christy climbed the stairs and stood on the porch until she regained her breath. Poising herself she entered the schoolhouse to see all of the children busily writing in their tablets. At the head of the classroom Alice finished writing on the chalkboard and turned to see the young woman standing in the doorway. Smiling at each other Alice headed down the aisle way to Christy's side.  
  
"Thee should be resting. Thee are not quite ready to be here yet."  
  
"I can sit in the mission house and be bored or I can sit here with something to occupy my mind. I'll be all right Miss Alice."  
  
Nodding Alice led her down the aisle to a chair at the head of the classroom. As the children raised their heads to inspect the noise of the chair scraping the floor their cries of joy alerted the others and soon the school clamored with noise. It had been nearly a month since they had seen teacher. There was no calming them down until a loud shrill whistle echoed from the back of the classroom. All eyes turned to the large man who stood in the doorway. "Settle down children," he said as he strode down the aisle, tossing his saddlebags onto the desk. "All of you take a seat," he ordered before turning to face Christy. Leaning down he looked into her eyes. Each set of blue orbs was frosty cold; the words of their last conversation still etched into their memories. "You shouldn't be here."  
  
"No one is going to make me leave." Christy's tone was clear. She wasn't going to abandon her seat for him or anyone else. Raising her voice Christy lightened her tone to address the children. "Children why don't you all get the science books from the back shelf. One per row and you can follow along for the reading this afternoon. Dr MacNeill has graciously offered to teach any lesson you decide on today." One child from each row scrambled to get the beloved books while the rest waited impatiently for the lesson to begin. While Neil paced the floor, pipe in hand, the center of the children's attention, Christy sat at her desk, making some notes on her own papers for later lessons, ignoring the mountain man. Standing off to the side Alice watched them, their tenseness seeming to fill the room. Neil kept his back to her while Christy refused to let her eyes leave the papers before her.  
  
'Oh, Dear Lord,' she prayed silently. 'What has become of these two? Why has their love cooled so?'  
  
When the science lesson was over the children were dismissed for the day and they eagerly ran out of the school to spread the good news, Teacher was back at school! Watching them leave for a moment Neil turned to see Christy still writing her notes. "You shouldn't have come today, Miss Huddleston. You're not ready yet."  
  
Raising her eyes to meet his Christy pierced him with a frosty glare. "Since when do I need your permission to return to my job, Dr MacNeill?"  
  
"You're going to do more damage if you try to do too much too soon. Your ribs are still too sore to be put back to full use."  
  
"You don't need to tell me how sore my ribs are Dr., I know that all too well. I'm the one who's in pain remember?" she tossed back at him as she stood from the desk.  
  
"Blast it woman, I am trying to help you! Why do you have to be so stubborn about this?" he said, his voice rising in his anger.  
  
"I don't know, Dr," she cried, her voice rising as well, the discussion quickly becoming heated. "Perhaps I've become so stubborn from being near you too often. Well that is one thing I can solve very quickly! Good day Dr. MacNeill."  
  
Leaving the schoolhouse Christy descended the stairway before Alice could stop her or warn her to be careful. Striding across the yard she climbed the stairs of the mission and the stairs to the second floor, not stopping until she was in her room. There she fell onto the bed, tears streaming from her eyes, pain assaulting both her ribs and her heart. Both still throbbing she stared at the double doors that led to the porch. Had it truly been over a week ago that she had opened her heart to the stubborn Scott only to have her heart broken to smithereens? Closing her eyes Christy pictured that night, replaying it in her head like a flipbook cartoon.  
  
He had stared at her with wide-open eyes after she had whispered those three little words. The sun was gone but there was still enough light to see his eyes begin to shimmer. 'No you don't,' he'd told her.  
  
She's been too shocked to protest when he took her inside and laid her back on the bed. 'Neil!'  
  
'No, Christy,' he'd cut her off. 'You don't know what you're saying. You're leaving for Asheville soon and you're scared. You're just saying whatever you can so that you don't have to go.'  
  
She'd been dumbfounded. 'Is that what you really think?'  
  
'I don't think it; I know it. You feel comfortable with me and that's all. I can't let you mistake comfort for love, Christy. You'll be leaving with your parents in two days.'  
  
Tears had begun to sting at her eyes. 'You... you want me to leave?'  
  
The conversation was breaking his heart but Neil had put on a stoic face. 'Yes, I do. You could have died here, Christy. The mountains aren't the place for you.'  
  
'This is my home, Neil!' she'd cried, her pain and sadness turning to anger at his declaration.  
  
'No,' he'd corrected, his voice hard. 'This is your job, your home is in Asheville with the rest of society.'  
  
She stared at him as he shut the double doors to the balcony of the mission, searching his face for some sign of his love, the love she knew she had heard in his prayer only a few moments ago. But there had been none. His face had been blank and he had refused to let her see his eyes. 'Tell me you don't love me, Neil. Look me in the eyes, say the words and I'll go.'  
  
He had turned around to face her. 'I don't love you, Christy.'  
  
Neil had fled the room but it was too late, Christy had seen the truth. He did love her, but he was forcing her to leave all the same. 'You're lying,' she had yelled at him just before he could shut the door. Burying her head in her pillow Christy had cried herself to sleep that night.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Months had passed and Christy was back to her normal duties as teacher to the cove's children. Her parents, though usually her father, had taken to calling at least once a week just to make sure she was all right and to say hello. With a lot of prayer, perseverance, and patience she had convinced her heart to trust her friends of the cove again and life had returned almost to normal for the young woman. There was only one flaw in her life. Her friendship with Neil was gone. They had little to no interaction with each other anymore. Neil took care to only show up at the mission if it was a medical emergency or if he was coming to the school for the weekly science lesson. Christy made herself scarce during those times as well. But she refused to dwell on it; refused to allow herself to become weighed down by the pain and sadness that fact brought to her life. Especially today.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. John Spencer!"  
  
Applause sounded out from the crowd that had gathered to celebrate John and Bessie's wedding. Soon, food already consumed, the dancing began. Standing in the kitchen with Opal, they refused to let the mother of the groom do any work on this special day, Christy watched the newlyweds dancing in the middle of a crowd and she smiled at them. While she wished they had waited some time to get married she couldn't help but be happy for them. It was obvious to everyone that they were in love. "Hit be a shame that Miz Alice cain't be 'ere ta see the young'ns marry."  
  
"Yes it is," Christy agreed, turning her attention back to the pie plate she was scrubbing. "But her trip to Cataleechie just couldn't wait any longer. She was hoping to be back by today, I know she's sorry she missed it. I'm sure she'll say a prayer for their union though."  
  
Seeing Neil cross the yard to speak with one of the men Opal looked to see if Christy had seen him or not. Though her face was turned down toward the wash water Opal could see Christy's jaw tense. Yes, she had seen him. Shaking her head she let it go for now. Both she and Fairlight had tried talking to Christy but she refused to tell anyone what had happened between the two people. The entire cove knew that David had withdrawn his proposal, Christy herself promoting that rumor to help David save face, but no one seemed to know why the close knit friendship, the hidden love between Neil and Christy had cooled off so much. It was a hot mystery that no one seemed to be able to solve. In the middle of the celebration a rider came racing in, pulling to a stop and scanning the crowd. When he found the man he was looking for the rider dismounted and headed straight for Neil. "Ya be needed, Doc. Thar waz sum fudin' o'er near Big Lick, mor'an one boy dun been shot. We need yer help."  
  
"How many, Peter?" Neil asked as he hurried over to Charlie, the horse tied to the hitching post.  
  
"Whal now, I'd say bouts three, m'be four."  
  
Growling in frustration Neil mounted Charlie and looked across to Christy. "I'll need help."   
  
With Alice in Cataleechie and Dan Scott gone home for a visit she was the only one left and they both knew it. Without hesitation Christy nodded. This was no time to refuse him just because of their personal problems. Not when there were lives on the line. "Rob Allen, saddle Buttons," she called out before disappearing into the mission house. When she emerged a moment later with her coat, riding gloves and hat Rob was leading the saddled horse to the mission stairs. Mounting the horse Christy nodded to Neil and they were off. The ride was fast and silent, both by choice and need. Only after they arrived early the next morning did either one say a word. "I'll scrub the table and boil some water," Christy said when she saw the cabin.   
  
"All right," Neil replied.  
  
Silence again fell as they went about their separate chores. While Neil examined the boys-there was three of them-Christy scrubbed down the only table that was large enough. Asking one of the men standing nearby to set up a sawhorse and plank for the Dr.'s instruments she scrubbed that too before Neil approached to unload and sterilize his tools. Side by side they worked; the only words were that of he asking for another instrument and she supplying it. After more hours than either of them could count they finally finished. Staying the night to make sure the boys would be all right Neil gave them a little bit of the medicine they would need before he and Christy set out again for Cutter Gap. Though the ride was at a slower pace the silence was just as deafening. Still some ways away from the cove Neil pulled Charlie to a stop.  
  
"We'll need to find shelter for the night. It's going to rain. There's a small cave near here that we can use." Glancing at the sky Christy nodded and followed Neil into the woods to find the cave. Finding it they tied Charlie and Buttons to a nearby tree and settled into the cave. As far away from the mouth that they could get Neil lit a small fire. The silence was uncomfortable for the both of them but neither one knew what to say or if there even was anything to say. Against her will Christy began to shiver in the chill of the night air. Seeing her trembling Neil removed his outer jacket and laid it over her shoulders before she could react.  
  
"I'm fine," she began taking the jacket off.  
  
"You're cold."  
  
"You will be too," she said softly glancing at his eyes before looking away.  
  
"I'll be fine. I was born and bred in these mountains. The cold won't bother me."  
  
"Oh, that's right!" Christy's temper flared at the reminder of that night. "And I'm just a weak little city girl who can't take care of herself." Taking off the jacket she balled it and threw it at him. "Keep your coat, Dr., I'm fine!" Laying down she rolled her back to him and wrapped her arms around her middle, desperately trying to get to sleep before the cold set into her bones. Grumbling to himself about stubborn little girls Neil did likewise, folding one of his arms under his head as a pillow. But sleep was a long time coming to either of them.  
  
The next morning Christy slowly woke from her slumber, pulling the blankets tighter before she realized where she was. Sitting up suddenly Christy took in the empty cave, the doused fire, and Neil's jacket that had been laid over her shoulders. Ignoring the little prick of a smile that was tempted to escape Christy stood and made her way out of the cave. Tossing Neil's jacket onto his saddle she disappeared into the woods to relieve herself.  
  
In silence once more they were on their way. Cutter Gap was still quite a few hours away and Christy desperately wanted to be back in the safety of the mission, away from Neil and the reminders of what it was her heart truly wanted. Being so near to him these last few days had been an all too poignant reminder of her hearts desire. It was becoming too painful to watch him ride a head of her. Suddenly a pair of men burst out from the brush with rifles filling their hands and hate filling their eyes. Both of them raised their guns, pointing them directly at the riders.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Wheeling Charlie around Neil put himself between the guns and Christy, blocking her from their aim. "What are you doing? What do you want?"  
  
"Yer comin' with us, Doc! An' yer gal lady, too," one of them said. "We gotz us a score ta settle wid'ya."  
  
"All right," Neil tried to placate the men. "I'll come, but let her go. She's no part of whatever this is."  
  
The men shook their heads. "Nope, Cain't raghtly do that, Doc. She waz there, too, we dun see'd her. Yer both a'comin' with us."  
  
Motioning with their rifles for them to dismount Neil nodded to Christy and slowly got down from Charlie, Christy following suit from Buttons. The one man took the reins and walked in front while the other stayed behind, bringing up the rear. Though he could tell she was scared Neil was amazed at Christy's ability to keep from showing it to the men as they were led through the forest. Soon they came to a cabin that Neil had never seen before and they were led inside. There, on the table, a man had been laid. One look at his ashen skin, blue lips, and still form and Neil knew the man was dead; the hole in his vest making him suspect it was a gunshot. Reaching out he drew Christy a little closer to him, not sure what these men wanted, but knowing he had to keep her safe. Her eyes glued to the dead man on the table she didn't resist him, too shocked to even think about it.  
  
"Ya dun holped ar fudin' en'mees but not us. My brother dun died 'cause of hit. They wayz I figger it iz you dun holped them. That makes you ar en'mee too."  
  
"I was never told that you needed help," Neil tried to reason with the men. "How could I have known?"  
  
"Don't make no diff'rence Doc. Ya gots ta pay fer my kins life."  
  
"But she doesn't," Neil pressed. "She's a mission teacher, she had nothing to do with this." At the mention of the mission both men looked at each other. It was one thing to kill the doctor, but a mission gal? Nodding to each other they bound Neil and Christy with rope, both their hands and their feet and left them on the cabin while they went out to confer between themselves. Frowning Neil glanced around the cabin, trying to get a feel for the men who held them hostage. As his eyes passed over Christy he stopped, suddenly realizing how still she had become.  
  
Staring at the ropes that bound her hands and feet Christy was transported back to her days in the cave under the mercy of Margaret's temper. Her breath became short as her hands began to tremble. It was too much; she couldn't go through this again.  
  
Watching her Neil suddenly realized she was reliving the nightmare from months ago. Scooting over to her he reached out to touch her hands gently with his. He could feel her trembling. Slowly her fear filled eyes rose to meet his and Neil gazed back, his face filled with a promise. "We'll be okay, Lass," his old name for her slipping out for a moment. "I promise, I won't let them hurt you." Closing her eyes for a moment Christy took a deep breath and nodded, praying desperately that God would deliver them from this nightmare. The door opened and the men returned, their faces grim as they looked at Christy.  
  
"We dun decided ta let ya go."  
  
Watching as her bonds were cut Christy rubbed her wrist, still looking up at the men. "What about the Dr.?"  
  
"No, ma'am. He gots ta stay an pay fer our kin."  
  
"I'm not leaving without him," she said taking a deep breath.  
  
"Christy get out of here!" Neil hissed in disbelief.  
  
"Let him leave with me. We can stay and help you give your brother a decent burial. I'll pray for him and ask God to watch over his family."  
  
The two men glanced at each other but the one shook his head. "No'm. Ya best git goin' 'fore we change our minds."  
  
"You don't understand," she pleaded. "There are people who depend on the Dr. to keep them alive. If you kill him you'll be killing more than just one man. You'll kill the innocent children who won't be able to get his medicine when they get sick. You'll kill the mother who needs him to operate on her so she can bring her baby into the world and still be there to care for it afterward. Killing this one man will doom the cove and this entire region." Christy could see the men beginning to waver in their decision as she spoke and pressed on. "What's going to happen the next time one of you is injured or the next time one of your children gets sick and needs medicine? He won't be here to help them if you kill him now!"  
  
Looking at each other Christy could see that they were thinking about her words. "We cain't jest let'ya go! Our brother dun bin kilt!"  
  
"Whal..." the one man thought aloud. "M'be we don't have ta kill him, m'be we could jest rough him up some. Break 'is hand er somethin' of th'like."  
  
"Or," Christy interrupted, not liking where their thinking was going. "Maybe I could do something for you instead. Umm... clean your cabin perhaps? Or make a meal for you both," she offered, trying to give them a more peaceable solution.  
  
"Naw," they refused. "We gots us gal folk ta care fer all that."  
  
A wicked gleam came into one of the men's eyes as he looked at Christy. "You be one o' them mission gal's, always preachin' 'gainst moonshine and fudin'. I tells ya what..." he grinned. "If'n ya cans drink all this here moonshine in this jug in one take, an' walk on outta 'ere, we'll let ya both go." Christy stared at the medium sized jug with wide eyes. Drink the moonshine? All of it? Without stopping? AND walk out of here on her own? Raising her eyes to the grinning men and then down to Neil's incredulous face she knew she didn't have a choice. Reaching out for the jug she hefted it into her hands.  
  
"Christy!" Neil stared at her. "You've never drunk moonshine before. You don't know what you're getting into."  
  
"Do I have a choice?" she asked him with a pointed look. Before he could answer she raised the jug to her lips and gulped the contents of it down her throat. Pausing a few times to breathe she never took the jug from her lips. Her eyes closed, forcing herself not to gag at the roughness of the liquid fire that burned her throat, Christy drank it as quickly as she could. The last bit drank she removed the jug from her lips and took deep breaths, coughing against the fire in her throat. Impressed the men let them go, laughing as both Neil and Christy mounted, hurrying away as fast as they could.  
  
"Christy," Neil began when they were a safe distance from the cabin.  
  
"Don't say a word," she stopped him. "I don't want to hear one word from you Neil MacNeill."  
  
Trying desperately not to laugh, she did save his life after all, Neil took the lead again and they rode towards home. He knew they had to make good time; it would only be a matter of time until the moonshine hit Christy. Her smaller frame ensured that it wouldn't be long. Only a mile from the nearest cabin, which just happened to be his, Neil heard a loud thud from behind him followed by an uproar of laughter. Turning he saw Buttons, her saddle empty, riding towards him. Quickly he dismounted and walked towards Christy who was lying on the ground in the middle of the trail, laughing hysterically at herself. He had to laugh.   
  
Christy was drunk.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Struggling with the limp woman in his arms, trying to make her use her legs, Neil climbed the stairs to his cabin and threw open the door. Dropping her onto the nearest chair he leaned her back and saw that she just sat there limply, watching him. Moving quickly he put up water to boil some strong coffee for Christy. There was no way he could take her back to the mission in this condition. When she sobered up she would be mortified if she knew that they had seen her like this. She'd be embarrassed enough that he had seen her like this. The entire ride home she had sang, loudly, to the trees and animals of the forest. Song after song, most of them children's songs, a few gospels, there were a few of them that had made him raise his eyebrows in shock that she knew. Neil had never imagined that Christy would even know a sailor's song let alone know it well enough to sing it, start to finish.  
  
"Thish ishn't the mishun," she slurred from her seat by the fire. "Where am we?"  
  
Biting back his laugh Neil poured a cup of the strong brew and took it to her. "No, Christy, this isn't the mission. Drink this, it'll help." Taking a sip she scrunched up her face and pushed the cup away. "Drink it," he ordered her, pushing the cup back into her hands.  
  
"Don' wan'it," she whined, refusing the cup again.  
  
"Christy I'm telling you to drink this!"  
  
"Drink this!" she lashed out getting up from the chair and pacing the floor with a sudden energy. "Do this! Don't do that! Be this! Wear this! Teach this! Go home! Don't love you!" she yelled. "Why are you always telling me what to do?" Setting the cup down Neil turned to face her, ready to speak, but she wasn't finished with him yet. Everything she hadn't had the courage to say to his face before poured out of her in a burst of liquid courage.  
  
"I loved you!" she yelled, poking him in the chest with her finger with such force and fervor that she forced him to back up. "And I know you loved me you coward! But you didn't have the guts to face me. You were too scared that something good might happen to you, that maybe God wasn't punishing you but rewarding you for finally turning your stubborn Scott face to him instead of to your books!" Backing up, forced back as she advanced on him in her drunken rage, Neil stumbled at the edge of the chair and fell back into it but Christy didn't stop. "Do you want to know what I was doing the morning Margaret took me? I was picturing my children!" she cried wildly, flailing her hands in wild gestures. "Little boys and girls with bright red hair and sparkling blue eyes that were playing by the river! I knew I loved you before you found me but you refused to see it! I never stopped loving you, you stubborn Scottish mule! But you gave up!"  
  
Pacing the floor, gestures flying about her as she paced, Christy stopped suddenly and faced Neil, his eyes wide at her revelations. She simply stared at him blankly for a moment. "You gave up," she whispered before the moonshine and the events of the last few days overcame her.  
  
Getting to his feet Neil scrambled to catch her as she crumpled to the floor. Picking her up in his arms he carried the passed out woman up the stairs to his bedroom, laying her down and covering her up with a quilt. Sitting on the edge of the bed Neil looked down at her sleeping face. Had he really correctly heard everything she had just said? She had pictured her children? Red hair and blue eyes... their children? Staring down at her Neil knew he had made a big mistake. A very big mistake. She was right; he'd been a coward. But she was also wrong. He had never given up, not on his love for her. When he had thought she was still leaving with her family Neil had resigned himself to love a woman he could never have. And when she had stayed in the cove she had been to hurt, to upset and to angry to allow him near her, alone, so they could speak. Yes, he'd made a big mistake. And now Neil knew that he was going to do everything in his power to fix it.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Drifting in the hazy mist between sleep and awake Christy snuggled down in the covers of the soft bed for a moment before the bell that was ringing off in the distance became louder and louder until it rang right next to her head, forcing her up. Putting her hands to her head Christy moaned with pain. Her head was pounding. With every ounce of strength she had Christy opened her eyes. Neil's bedroom. She recognized it from her time here after falling in the river so long ago. Trying to think around the pain that had clobbered her head Christy vaguely remembered the men who had cut them off in the path. Trying desperately to focus she drug the quilt off her and was relieved to see that she was still completely dressed, shoes and all. In the corner of the room Chhristy saw the doorstop Little Burl and Creed had made for Neil, a jug filled with sand from his river.  
  
Suddenly Christy remembered everything.  
  
"Oh, Dear Lord," she whispered, her voice reverberating like a gunshot in her ears.  
  
As quickly, and quietly, as she could Christy descended the stairs and saw Neil asleep at the desk in his laboratory. Slipping out she unhitched Buttons and rode away silently. Her face was infused with a deep scarlet color as she remembered everything that had happened the night before. The ride back to the cove, the cave, the men, the moonshine... the effects of the moonshine. Christy was mortified. Her head pounding, stomach volatile, Christy rode back to the mission. Leaving Buttons at the hitching post she entered the sleeping mission house and climbed the stairs to her bedroom, falling gracelessly into the bed and back to sleep, away from the pain of her head filled with memories.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Slowly Neil woke to find that he was still in his lab. He had fallen asleep while he was still doing his charts last night. Standing he stretched for a moment before going to check on Christy. Neil had to chuckle at the memory of the drunken mission teacher. She would be in pain this morning; he knew that one from experience. Climbing the stairs he saw that the door was open and the bed empty. Hurrying back down the stairs Neil went outside and saw that Buttons was missing. Christy had already left. Needing to make sure she was all right Neil quickly changed and went out to Charlie. The ride to the mission was short and in no time at all he was climbing the stairs to the mission. Hearing him enter Alice looked up from her place at the breakfast table and smiled.  
  
"Thee are back from thy medical call, is everyone all right?" she asked as she motioned for the doctor to join them at the table.  
  
Sitting in one of the chairs Neil replied, "Yes, they'll be fine. One man was killed and the other three will be fine." Glancing around he saw that Christy was missing. "I actually came by to check on Christy. She had a... a headache... and I wanted to make sure she was all right"  
  
Wondering if perhaps this emergency trip had healed some of the breach between the two Alice replied, "Ruby Mae is waking her now. She was sleeping when I checked in on her. Thee must have returned late last night; she had not even bothered to change before falling into bed." As though on cue the two women entered the small dining room, one looking bright and chipper the other decidedly the opposite. Though she had changed and tried to freshen up, the bags under her eyes and pale skin made Christy appear very ill. With her eyes closed she sat in the chair next to Alice, not seeing Neil, and put her hand to her head, leaning forward, resting her elbow on the table. "Christy?" Alice said, her voice filled with concern. "Thee do not look well at all!"  
  
"I'll be fine, Miss Alice," she whispered.  
  
"Here ya go, Miz Christy," Ruby Mae smiled as she placed a bowl of mush under Christy's nose, the normally bland goo was flavored with cinnamon and a bit of dried apples.  
  
One whiff of the aroma and Christy sat back as quick as a lightning bolt. Swallowing convulsively she tried to stop her stomachs reaction to the bowl of food but couldn't. Jumping up from her chair she escaped the mission house as fast as possible, running to the forest to lose what little there was in her stomach. Alice sprang up from her seat to follow but Neil held her back. "Let me, Alice. It'd be better if I go."  
  
Confused she did as he suggested, wondering just what had happened while she was in Cataleechie as Neil followed Christy. Stopping at the pump Neil filled a cup with some water, mixing in a little aspirin powder and went to find Christy. A few steps into the woods he found her leaning against a large tree, tears resting on her closed lashes. Squatting down before her he held out the cup. "This will help with the pain," he said softly.  
  
Cracking open her eyes Christy took the cup and slowly drank the liquid. Though she gagged at the taste she drank it all. Her stomach cramped in protest but thankfully it accepted the medicine, allowing it to stay. Handing him the cup back Christy closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the tree. She was in too much pain to make him leave. After some time she heard some rustling and assumed Neil had left. After much more time she tried to open her eyes and saw that he had not left but rather he was sitting a few feet away. "You should feel a little better by this afternoon." Frowning Christy wondered how she was going to teach the school if she felt like this. "Why don't I take the morning classes so you can rest and you can come teach this afternoon when you're feeling better?"  
  
"Thank you," she whispered after a moment.  
  
Neil smiled softly. "It's the least I can do since you saved my life."  
  
Closing her eyes Christy tried to calm the pounding in her head. They sat in silence for some time until Neil stood and held his hand out to Christy. "Come on, I'll help you back to the mission." Wishing she didn't need his hand to get up, but knowing she'd never make it on her own, Christy took his hand and allowed Neil to pull her up from the ground. Separate and silent they walked back to the mission house. At the foot of the stairs Neil stopped Christy from climbing them. "We need to talk," he said. "I'll come by tomorrow after school when you're feeling better." Not giving her a choice Neil headed off to the school where the children had already began to gather. Watching him leave Christy could feel her headache begin to grow.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Sitting at her desk, the children dismissed for the day, Christy tried to focus on her papers but found it nearly impossible. Her mind kept drifting to the man who was to meet her here in a few moments. All day she had tried to think of a credible excuse to break their appointment but couldn't think of one. Even the children had noticed her absentmindedness, calling her attention back to the lesson several times during the day. She could only wonder what he wanted to talk about, though she had a good idea about what it was, the night she had spoken so brazenly offering a plethora of topics for him to choose from. Christy was nervous to say the least. She was trembling at the thought of having to speak with him about everything she had denied herself for so long. She needed to get out of their meeting, she needed to leave, she needed...  
  
"School's dismissed teacher," a deep brogue called from the doorway. "Let's take our discussion somewhere else, shall we?"  
  
"Here is fine, Dr.," she answered. The school was her domain, the one place she was in control and right now she needed that little veil of control over what was about to happen.  
  
"Very well, I suppose here is as good a place as any."  
  
Closing the doors behind him Neil sauntered down the aisle, pipe in hand, and took a seat in the first row, stretching his long legs out before him. Neil was the picture of calm but inside his heart was rapidly beating itself out of his chest. This afternoon could go wrong in so many ways that it scared Neil witless, but he was determined to go through with it. "I have many things to say today, Miss Huddleston, I'd like your word that you won't speak until I'm done."  
  
Staring at him Christy silently nodded her promise.  
  
Taking a deep breath Neil began. "When I first met Margaret she had a spark in her eyes that was like a wildfire waiting to burst out of its shell. I fell hard for her and we married before returning to Cutter Gap to live. It didn't take long for her to become unhappy. She missed everything from the city, the excitement, the danger, the people. Seemed like no matter what I did, she was never happy, it was never good enough. When I had thought she was dead I tried to move on but I always knew that nothing would ever enter my heart again. No thing and no one ever did... until you came," Neil glanced at Christy. She was listening with a confused look but Neil pressed on. "First time I saw you was in the Allen cabin. You were wedged into the shadowed corner next to Ben Pentland and you looked so small that I passed you off as one of the children."  
  
"When you came forward I saw you completely and I didn't know what to think. You looked just like her, an innocent version of the woman Margaret was. Even though I pushed you to the back of my mind you never went away, I couldn't stop thinking about you, wondering how long it would take you to become bored with life here in the cove like she did. But more than one heart would be broken this time. The children had fallen for you and I knew that they would be hurt if you ever left. Though you still looked like Margaret it didn't take long to see that you were the better half of what seemed like a two sided coin. You were everything Margaret never was; kind, loving, you had a zeal for life that sprang from your love for it and not your hatred of it. Margaret lived life to see how far she could push at its barriers. But you, you lived life to see how much you could give to it, how much happiness you could give to others."  
  
"I think I started to fall in love with you the moment I saw you, in the Allen Cabin that night. You became a part of my life so quickly that I didn't know how to stop you. It seemed like every time I saw you, talked with you, worked with you, or even fought with you that I loved you just a little bit more. It's a scary thing to lose your heart so completely to someone and not know how they felt in return. I knew that I angered you; I knew that you considered me a friend, but it wasn't until the day we danced by the river that I thought perhaps there might be something more, even if you didn't realize it yet. But then Margaret came back. In that one moment everything I had hoped for, everything I had worked for was gone. She had destroyed it. I didn't want you two anywhere near each other. I didn't want her to rub off on you and ruin the one thing in my life that had meant so much to me. But seeing both you and Margaret at the same time reminded me how very different you really are from each other. Margaret was pure vinegar but you... you were pure honey."  
  
"She left again but it didn't matter. Everything had been ruined. There was a wedge between us now that I didn't see anyway around it or anyway past it. I was still a married man but my heart belonged to another woman. Life went on and I had to watch as you grew closer to Grantland. I knew he was sweet on you, everyone knew it. He told me one day that he had asked you to marry him and in that one moment I had thought I'd lost you for good. When he told me that you hadn't said yes yet I hoped like I had never hoped for anything before. After that everything seemed to happen so quickly. Margaret returned again only this time it seemed that she was going to stay. She was at the cabin and she wanted to talk but I didn't want to hear anything she had to say. I was through listening to her stories and her lies. She caught me off guard when she kissed me and I didn't react fast enough to push her away. That's why you saw what you did that day. She kept telling me that you had decided to marry Grantland but I knew it couldn't be true."  
  
"I chased after you but you wouldn't stop. I knew I had to talk to you, to explain before you jumped to any conclusions. But when I saw you, standing there in the yard with that ring in your hand I thought you had accepted him. Then you sent us both away and stormed off into the woods. I didn't have any choice so I went back to the cabin. Margaret was gone. No note, no clue as to where she had gone but to be truthful I didn't care. The only thing I cared about was the tears I had seen in your eyes. The next day... well, you know most of that already. But what I never told you was what happened outside of the cave just before I found you. You said that Margaret had come in, screaming about how you had made him pray. She was right. I was heading home to the cabin; we had just called off the search after Will had found your bloody shirt. I just lost it, Christy. I started yelling at God, but somehow in the middle of all of everything it turned into a prayer, a plea for him to bring you back."  
  
"God had answered my prayers but I had no idea why. Why He would do such a thing after all the years I had fought against him. When you looked at me that night on the mission balcony and said..." Neil sighed. "I knew I couldn't let you. I wanted to hear that with every inch of me but I couldn't let you do it. I knew that your mother was taking you back to Asheville and I knew that they would never let you return to the cove. I have loved from afar Christy and it breaks your heart every day you have to live without the person that you love by your side. So I lied. I lived with that lie and I thought I could do it, because I knew you wouldn't be here, you'd be safe, in Asheville. But you didn't leave. You stayed here in Cutter Gap. I saw you almost every day but it was different. You had changed. I used to look into your eyes and know exactly what you were thinking, but I couldn't see past the anger and the hurt anymore. It hurt so much to know that I was the reason. That what I had said caused the rift that settled down between us. But every time I tried to get close enough to talk to you, you would leave."  
  
"I thought I had lost you for good, Christy. Not to Asheville, not to Grantland, but to my own stupidity and my stubborn Scott temper. All I saw was the anger in your eyes and I thought you didn't love me any more. But that night, when you were... when you were at my cabin I suddenly realized that you had never stopped loving me, you had just buried it so deep I couldn't see it anymore. It was right then that I realized what a stupid mistake I had made, pushing you away like that. I'm a stupid, stubborn, Scott, Christy. You know that already. I was a coward to have pushed you away like that and, yes; I was more than a little scared. But there was one thing that you said that night that was wrong." Getting up Neil crossed the schoolroom to stand next to Christy. His blue eyes were misty as he had spoken, his voice catching every now and then, but none more so than his final words. "Never, not once in all the time I have known you, Christy, have I ever stopped loving you."  
  
Neil stood less than a few feet away from her. As he had began his tale Christy had been seated at her desk, her demeanor calm, cool, and collected. But as she had listened to him, as she had heard the emotion sounded out with his words, Christy had found her façade slipping until tears began to prick at her eyes. Rising from her seat she had turned her back to him, staring out the window over the mission yard as she had listened, hung on his every word. And now, here they stood, she still staring out the window, he staring at her only a few feet away, silence descending on them like a blanket of fog over the rolling hills. Tears stained her cheeks, her breath was hitched in her throat, unable to complete it's course in or out of her chest. Christy's hands trembled as she wrapped them around herself in a vain attempt to make them stop.  
  
Staring at her, the towering giant quaked at the thought of her reaction. Neil had laid his soul bare to her like he had never done to another person, not Margaret, not his friends and family, not his mentor's. No one had ever seen so clearly into the man that Neil MacNeill was that he had just offered to Christy. Watching her, hands buried deep in his pockets, he held his breath when she finally turned around to face him. Arms wrapped around herself Christy hugged the pain and fear that had settled in her chest. "You hurt me," she whispered to him, turning her tear stained face up to meet his. "I opened myself up to you and you pushed me away like I was yesterdays news."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Lass," Neil whispered, his voice filled with the pain that he had caused her.  
  
Christy continued as though she had never heard him. "But you're not the only one who played a part in these last few months. I know I've caused my share of pain as well."  
  
Neil stayed silent, unsure of what she was going to say next. Tightening her grip on her sides Christy lowered her eyes to the ground for a moment before raising her eyes once more to meet Neil's. "I propose we start anew. Get to know each other as who we are now. A doctor and a teacher; one man getting to know one woman and she getting to know he. I do still love you Neil but I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me."  
  
Taking a step forward to close the distance between them Neil took one of Christy's hands in his and brought it to his lips.  
  
"I'd like that."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
This is not the end, merely a segue into the next "chapter". I had originally intended to do these as three separate stories but the more I worked on them the more I saw how they had really clicked together as one story. So, this is the end of the First Chapter, Too Soon Lost...Too Late Found, and next will come the Second Chapter, Diamonds. I hope you will enjoy it.  
  
  
SEW  
Lady S 


	2. Diamonds

Title: Diamonds  
  
Author: Lady S  
  
E-Mail: ladysewalton@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. We are continuing the story of Christy for our own amusement only. Any additions in story line  
and characters were invented by the writers of the alt.tv.christy Round Robin and the Christy Mailing List. The content of each story is the responsibility of the individual writer. The fanfic here is being posted as a service to the Christy mailing list, Pax Christy Forum and Alt.tv.christy News Group.  
  
Summary: All diamonds start out as coal. But under pressure, they begin to shine.  
  
Author's Notes: This one's been rattling around in my brain for a while now. I took the plot from a song by Kenny Rogers, so I need to tell you it's got a pre-set direction that it's going to travel. See if you can figure out which song it is before the fic is done.  
  
Author's Notes 2: This is the Second Chapter, a sequel to Too Soon Lost...Too Late Found. It begins in 1906 to set the stage for the characters. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Diamonds  
Lady S  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Tennessee State Prison - Cell # 38 - 1906  
  
The boy fought to keep his supper in his stomach at the stench that filled his wrinkled nose. He looked around at the filth that surrounded him and wondered that anything could have gotten as dirty as the little room had. As his deep brown eyes traversed the cell they landed on the giant of a man kneeling before him. Staring back at the little boy was a mirror image of his own eyes, deep brown, but these eyes were filled with sadness, pain.  
  
"Listen to me boy," the man began. "I ain't gonna be 'round no more so yer gonna be the man of the family, y'hear?"  
  
The twelve-year-old boy nodded. Ma had told him that Pa wouldn't be coming with them when they moved to be near her sister. She had tried not to cry while they walked through the streets but he had seen her tears. He didn't know why Pa wasn't coming with them; it didn't make sense. Before he had left for school Pa had been sitting at the table with Ma, laughing over something his baby sister had done. But then, when he had returned from school Pa was gone and Ma was weeping by the fire.  
  
Something bad had happened.  
  
"I ain't always been the best Pa fer ya Tommy, but I always loved ya," the giant of a man said softly, his voice choking. "So I want ya to promise me somethin'. I want yer word, boy, that you ain't gonna do what I done. Walk away from trouble if you can. It don't mean yer weak if ya do as the bible says an' turn the other cheek. I hope your old enough to understand what I'm sayin', boy."  
  
The man grabbed his son in an embrace as the jailer approached the cell.  
  
"Fightin' don't make ya a man," he whispered into the boys ear as the cell door was unlocked and Jack O'Malley's only son was ripped from his arms and out of the murder's prison cell.  
  
"Pa!" Tommy cried out as he was taken from his father's cell.  
  
"It's all right boy, you go to yer Ma and you mind her y'hear?" Jack said, coming to the metals bars of the cell door.  
  
"Ye'sir," Tommy replied, remembering everything his Pa had just told him. "I won't let ya down, Pa."  
  
"I know, boy." Jack struggled not to cry as his son was led away from him down the long dark corridor. "I know."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
The crowd was larger than anyone had anticipated and the police had given up on trying to control it, letting them all squeeze in for the show. Men of all ages, young and old, had gathered to see the hanging. It had been almost a week and their taste for blood needed satisfying. As the prisoner was led to the hangman's noose they jeered at him, mocking the man who could do nothing to stop his own death.  
  
From the back of the crowd, scooting under their legs and through the tiniest of spaces Tommy wedged his way to the front of the crowd to see what all the excitement was about. He'd never been allowed near this place, his Ma always telling him to stay away from it. But now, this one time, he couldn't resist. He'd be back before he was missed.  
  
Staring up at the wooden contraption in the center of the open yard he recognized it from his best friends drawing during recess at school one day. It was a hangman's tower. The warden was going to hang someone today. Raising his innocent brown eyes a little higher Tommy stopped still at the sight of his father standing with a rope around his neck. As the executioner's hand wrapped itself around the wooden lever he realized what was happening and a scream tore from his throat.   
  
"PA!" Tommy screamed with all his ten-year-old might.  
  
Instinctively he ran towards the tower but two of the nearby men grabbed him before he could take three steps. Holding the struggling boy in their iron grasps they, along with everyone gathered, watched as the lever completed it's task and the trap door was released. With a sickening snap the body hung limp at the end of its rope, swaying in the breeze.  
  
"PA!" Tommy screamed again.  
  
His deep brown eyes were wide and filled with tears as he struggled against the two men who held him, refusing to give up, refusing to let them take him away. Refusing to believe that his Pa was dead. From the corner of his eye he saw a large hand swinging down towards him before his world went dark.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Cutter Gap - 1906  
  
"United States Mail!"  
  
From her place at the fire in their cabin Mary Allen jumped up with excitement. Running out of the cabin she hurried toward the old hollowed out log that Ben Pentland would have left the letter in. Small envelope in hand Mary ran back to the house before anyone could see her. With all the noise from the mill it wasn't likely they had heard the call. The letter would make a nice surprise for everyone after supper. Rob could read it to them by the light of the fire before the children headed off to bed.  
  
Mary couldn't stop the smile from spreading over her face. Yes, it would be a nice surprise after a long hard day's work. Hurrying to finish supper she had it ready to serve when her man came in from the mill and the littl'uns from the yard. Serving up what there was of the stew Mary sat down in her place and, after prayer of thanks, the family ate their meal. Mary brought the letter to Bob just before they were ready to go to bed.  
  
Smiling at his wife, knowing she had fought hard to keep this a secret, Bob gathered his family around to read the letter that had come. Rob, the only one of the family that was able to read even the littlest bit, took his seat by the fire and looked at the envelope.  
  
"Hit be from Aunt Shannon," he announced.  
  
A gasp rang from Mary. Her sister! After so many years with no news Mary couldn't wait for Rob to open the letter and read it to her. How she did miss her sister.  
  
"Dear Mary," he began after opening the envelope carefully. Rob knew how much this meant to his Ma and he wanted to keep everything perfect for her.  
  
"I had this letter writ to tell ya I'm a comin' to ya in one month. My man is dead; my young'n's need kin and yer all I got. I love ya Mary, yer my sister. Signed, Shannon O'Malley."  
  
Rob folded the letter and looked up at his Ma and Pa. Mary's eyes shone with tears but Bob's were blank. He'd seen that look before, his Pa was mad. Getting up from his seat Rob shoed his little kin towards their hay pile in the corner of the room so Mary and Bob could talk in private.  
  
"Oh, Bob! Shannon be comin' home!"  
  
Bob didn't speak. He knew how much Mary missed her sister and he wished he didn't have to do what he was about to do but the fact of the matter was that he did. There wasn't a choice. "Mary," he began, pulling his wife a little closer. "I know ya miss's yer sister but we cain't take 'er in, we jes ain't got th'room nor the way ta care fer her an' her young'ns too. We can barely feed our young'n's."  
  
"But Bob..."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mary, we jes cain't."  
  
Mary Allen stared, wide eyed at her man, unable to believe that he wasn't gonna take her only sister in when she needed her family. "What are we gonna do when she gits 'ere?"  
  
From the shadows little Rob appeared. "Pa," he began, waiting until he had their attention to continue. "When we was out playin' we see'd an empty cabin up past MuckBerry Point. M'be Aunt Shannon culd live thar," he whispered.  
  
Bob thought about the old cabin that stood in the middle of the forest past MuckBerry Point. It was an old cabin, would probably need a lot of repair, but it had a hood base to it. Slowly Bob began to nod, it would be a good cabin once the work was done. "Good boy, Rob, ya best git on ta bed."  
  
Smiling, knowing he'd done good, Rob scurried off to bed with his little brothers and sisters.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
Cutter Gap - 1906  
  
He was so tired.  
  
Tommy stumbled over a root as he walked through the forest to his new home. Ma had been trying to keep a slower pace so the young'ns could keep up but her excitement was getting the better of her. It had ten years since she'd last seen her sister Mary, they'd lived in the city from the day she had married Jack O'Malley. City life had been such a change for the woman who had spent all of her life in the mountains, never even dreaming of setting a foot outside of them.  
  
And now she was home.  
  
"Hallo!" she called when she saw the peak of the cabin sticking out through the trees. Almost immediately they were surrounded and ushered into the cabin by a small troupe of children.  
  
"Shannon!" Mary cried when she saw her sister.  
  
"Mary!"  
  
The two women crushed each other in a hug, ten years of love aching to be given and received. They spent the night catching up on each other's lives, Mary telling her tale first. When Shannon began she focused on her life up until a few months ago, leaving the bad news for last.  
  
"Mary, Bob, I know ya's bin wonderin' why my man got kilt." Both of them nodded. Taking a deep breath, blinking back the tears that stung at her eyes, Shannon told them the tale of theft and murder, the one her husband had told her just before the police had barged into their little room of a home. When she had finished she could see the tears in Mary's eyes and the anger in Bob's.  
  
"I didn' know whar's else ta go, yer all th' kin I gots."  
  
Sitting in his seat Bob knew he had to tell her. "Shannon, we know ya jes got 'ere buu we cain't let ya stay, we jes ain't got the means. But me an' the boys been fixin' up an old cabin out near MuckBerry Point fer ya ta live in. It still need workin' but its livable fer ya."  
  
Shannon was quiet for a moment as she took in the news. MuckBerry Point was a ways away from here, not too far but far enough. It wasn't what she had hoped for, but it would have to do. Nodding she tried to smile at Bob and thank him but her mouth would not move. Nodding again she stood and moved over to the spot that had been made for her to sleep in. That night she cried the silent tears of a woman who didn't know what was going to happen to her and her children.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Standing before the cabin Shannon looked it over. Bob had been right, it did need work but it was livable. But without a man to do the fixing she wondered how the work was going to get done. Trying to focus on the brighter things she smiled at her children and told them what was going to happen, that this was their new home. Eagerly the children scampered off to inspect it, all but one.  
  
Tommy stood next to his mother, facing the cabin, seeing the repairs that needed doing. Turning away he headed over to the man who said he was his uncle. With solemn eyes he looked up at the tall man. "It needs lots o'workin'," he said to Bob. "Will ya teach me what ta do?"  
  
Bob looked down at the young man and saw a little boy who knew he was the head of his family now. There was no playful spirit in his eyes, no little boy innocence, and Bob wondered what had stripped it away so early. Nodding he took the boy under his wings and began to teach him everything he would need to know to take care of his kin. From general repairs to planting a field to hunting down meat and protecting the cabin, Tommy soaked it all in like a sponge in a puddle.  
  
By the time the boy was twelve he was doing the work of a man, taking care of his family. Shannon looked at him as he worked and she knew that she had lost her little boy, he'd been forced to grow up too quickly and it made her heart ache. But she said nothing to him. He was so like his father. Tommy never complained about anything, never allowed others to see he was hurting when he came in from a long day in the field, his little hands blistered from the plow work he'd had to do by hand since they couldn't afford the plow.  
  
The children had stopped over a few times while they were out playing, trying to entice Tommy to join them but he refused. He had work to do. There was one time that an argument almost broke out between the boys when they were making fun of Tommy and his father, the thieving murderer. Just when Shannon thought Tommy was going to pound young John Spencer flat he turned and walked away, shutting the cabin door behind him and going to sit at the table until the boys had gone.  
  
She'd asked him that night why he didn't fight them; he could have easily won the fight with all the muscles he'd built. "I promised Pa," was his only response. That was his response to everything, why he worked so hard, why he didn't play with the children, why he took to staying up until Shannon was asleep. He'd promised his Pa.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Cutter Gap - 1910  
  
Ma had ordered him to take a bath; she teased that he was stinking up her cabin. He had only smiled at her, one of his rare smiles, before grabbing the bar of soap and heading out to the river a little ways away. The pond was closer but it was their water source and Dr MacNeill had ordered them to keep it clean, not to wash anything in it. So the river it was. The water was chilly but it always felt refreshing as it rolled over his worked body, cooling his overworked muscles.   
  
The fourteen-year-old boy looked every bit a young man. Years of labor and toil over his family farm, repairing the cabin, doing the work of a family head had built up his body until muscles rippled everywhere. His was long but her kept it pulled back into a tail at the nape of his neck to keep it out of his eyes as he worked. He liked it long, just like his Pa had worn his.  
  
Sitting on a rock at the edge of the river Tommy pulled the string off his hair and slipped out of his clothes before plunging into the river. The icy blast took away his breath but he soon grew used to it and began to wash away the dirt and grime that had built up on his skin and in his hair. Washing done he took a few moments to swim around before climbing out of the river and slipped on his pants. Sitting on the large rock, his water drenched skin glistening under the sun Tommy stared off across the river as his mind began to remember.  
  
He remembered everything. The smell, the touch, the action, the silence, there wasn't a bit of his Pa that Tommy didn't remember. He focused in on the good but he also remembered the bad. He could never forget that his Pa had taken a life with his fists; he had stolen and murdered. And he had died for it, his neck snapped clean when he fell through the trap door four years ago. Running his hands through his hair Tommy stopped his memories and stood to go home.  
  
As he turned he stopped still at the angel who stood before him. A young woman, her long brown hair flowing freely, big brown eyes staring back at him, frozen like a deer caught unaware. She was beautiful. In the distance a cock crowed and she started, shaken from her trance as she had stared at the man who stood before her. Turning to flee she stopped when she heard him call out to her.  
  
"Wait!" he cried, struggling to slip his shirt back on and race after her.  
  
Stopping she turned to face him and looked up into hi deep brown eyes. He was more handsome than any man she'd ever seen before. His long brown hair was soaked through and she knew had been in the river. From the smell of the soap that wafted on the breeze she knew he had been washing. Taking the last few steps they stood within arms reach of each other, staring.  
  
"I'm Tommy," he said to her, motioning to himself absentmindedly, his eyes never leaving hers.  
  
"I know," she whispered. "I'm Zady."  
  
Tommy smiled. "That's a purty name."  
  
Zady blushed and lowered her gaze the ground. She hadn't meant to stop and speak with him on her way home but seeing him there, shining in the sun atop the rock, her feet had stopped of their own accord. Suddenly nervous under his gaze Zady inched away. "I best be gettin' home 'fore Ma starts ta worry."  
  
Not wanting to let her go Tommy inched forward as she moved back. "Can I walk ya?"  
  
Zady looked up at him and smiled. "If ya wants ta."  
  
She had a beautiful smile.  
  
Falling into place, side by side, they walked through the forest. They were silent but it was a comfortable silence between them, no words were needed. As they drew near the cabin Tommy hung back. Turning to face him Zady smiled and waved before turning and running the rest of the way to the cabin. Watching her leave for a moment Tommy too turned and ran, a smile bright upon his face for the forest to see.  
  
As he rounded the corner, halfway home, he stopped suddenly at the sight of the three boys who stood before him. Lundy and his two cousins, Peter and James, stood in Tommy's path, blocking the way. Standing still Tommy knew he was in trouble.  
  
"Whal, lookee 'ere, boys," Lundy grinned. "It be Yella, ole Yella Belly O'Malley. What's th'rush, Yella? Ya runnin' from someone else?"  
  
Staying calm Tommy met their eyes. "I ain't got no quarrel wid'ya Lundy, le'me be."  
  
The Taylor boy shook his head, cackling like an old woman. He was going to have fun beating Yella up; the stupid boy wouldn't even make a fist to defend himself. Advancing on Tommy Lundy balled up his fist and swung, catching Tommy in the eye. While his cousins held the helpless victim Lundy swung his fists several time before he was stopped by a booming voice.  
  
"Lundy Taylor!"  
  
Turning on his heel Lundy saw the Doc getting down from his horse, a glare on his face. Motioning to his cousins they three Taylor's fled the scene, leaving Tommy in a heap on the ground. Glaring after the fleeing boys Neil crouched low beside the boy who was on the ground. He recognized him as Tommy O'Malley, the one everyone else called Yella. The rumors were true, the boy refused to fight, and apparently that included defending himself. Not that he'd had good odds anyway, not with the two boys holding him down.  
  
Getting to his feet Tommy looked at the Doc with his one good eye. Nodding to him he began to shuffle off before Neil could stop him, waving the concerned doctor away when he called out to him. Shaking his head Neil watched the young man leave for a moment before climbing back up on Charlie. These children needed something to occupy their time. They needed to be in school.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Cutter Gap - 1913  
  
She was sitting at the table when she head the familiar clomps of boots climbing the stairs to the mission. Raising her eyes to the doorway she smiled when the door was opened and an icy blast hit her. Shivering she tugged her shawl tighter and waited for him to close the door, cutting off winter from within her warm home.   
  
He was frozen through.  
  
Getting up from her seat Christy approached Neil even as he came towards her. Leading him to the fire she helped him remove his coat, hanging it near the fire to warm and dry out. Turning back to him she removed his scarf while he worked on prying the gloves off his hands. After riding for so long they were frozen onto his hands. Seeing that he was having trouble Christy tossed the scarf aside and turned her attention to his gloves. Her small fingers able to work themselves into the glove and pry them apart she had them off his hands after a few moments.  
  
Neil watched her as she turned away from him to arrange everything near the fire to dry and warm up again. Briskly rubbing his hands together he waited for her to turn back around before pulling her to him. Her blue eyes snapped with laughter as he lowered his head to meet hers, pulling her into a kiss. Raising one of his hands to the back of her neck he was surprised when she suddenly gasped and pulled away.  
  
"Your hands are freezing!" she gasped, her smile was one of shock.  
  
Letting her go Neil laughed. Christy disappeared into the kitchen and Neil pulled a chair closer to the fire to warm his bones. Looking towards the kitchen he saw her shadow on the wall and smiled. How things had changed between them. Though it had taken some time they had finally repaired their friendship after last springs awful events. And over the last few months, all through summer, fall and now winter, they had grown closer than even he had imagined.  
  
She had said she wanted to get to know him and so he had opened himself up to her, nothing hidden, nothing unanswered. It had been a strange experience for him to allow someone to know him like that but it had been well worth it. Christy had opened herself up to him as well. Whenever they had the chance they would spend hours just talking. Sometimes it was out in the fields on one of their walks and sometimes, like tonight, it was alone by the fire.  
  
Speaking of which...  
  
"Where is everybody, Lass?" Neil asked as she came back into the room with a tin of coffee for him.  
  
"Ruby Mae is sleeping already, Miss Alice went to Big Lick this week, and Eric is off visiting with the Spencer's. I think he's going to get stuck there."  
  
Neil nodded.   
  
Eric Waverly was a smart man, he knew better than to try and get back to the mission in this weather. The new preacher of Cutter Gap, he'd taken over when David had left, Eric fit in well with the people, they had accepted him almost immediately, his kind heart and willing spirit drawing the people to him. Neil himself spent quite a few hours with him in study of the bible. Since God had answered his prayer to bring Christy back Neil had been filled with questions that Eric had been only to happy to answer.  
  
"Are you hungry?"  
  
"Starved."  
  
Christy smiled. "I'll make you something."  
  
Not wanting her to disappear from his sight again Neil followed her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter while she worked. She smiled. "If you're going to be in here, I'm going to put you to work."  
  
Placing his hand over his heart Neil grinned, "Your wish is my command," he said.  
  
Laughing she pushed a knife into his hands and directed him to the chopping board. Side by side they worked on the meal, talking, laughing. As they sat down at the table to eat Neil took her hands in his before saying a prayer for the both of them. Just as he was spearing a bit to eat an urgent knock rang out on the door. Groaning he put his fork down and moved to answer it but Christy put out her hand to stop him.   
  
"Eat. I'll get it."  
  
Smiling at him as he dug into his meal Christy moved to open the door. A snow-covered figure entered the cabin and she shut the door behind him. Shivering and shaking the man tried to get the snow off him before it melted into his coat making it even wetter than it already was. When he lifted his head Christy saw that it was Bob Allen.  
  
"Mr. Allen? Come, warm yourself by the fire," she pulled on his frosty sleeve.  
  
"Cain't Miz Christy. Doc here?"  
  
"Of course, this way," leading him into the dining room where Neil was already half way done with his meal. "You really must have been hungry!" she exclaimed seeing his plate tin.  
  
Neil smiled. "Good food always bring out my appetite." Watching the small blush that painted her cheeks he turned his attention to Bob when she had seated herself. "Bob, something wrong?"  
  
"Hit be li'l'Darby, she's real bad off wid a fever. Tommy di'n know whar's ta find ya so'z I come 'ere an' sent him back ta th'cabin."  
  
Nodding Neil stood, meal forgotten. "Let me get my bags and I'll come right over. Get back to your family before it gets too bad; I'll go straight to the O'Malley's."  
  
Bob nodded his head and disappeared back out into the winter storm; it was growing worse by the hour. Turning Neil reached for his coat from beside the fire. It was still slightly damp but not nearly as bad as before. From the corner of his eyes he saw Christy already beginning to button up hers.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" he cried, holding out his hand to stop her. "You're not coming."  
  
"Yes I am, Neil. You might need help."  
  
"Then I'll get Shannon or Marie to help me, I'm not risking you out in that storm, Lass."  
  
"I'm not giving you a choice Neil," Christy countered as she reached for her scarf. "You'll need help and the mother of a sick child is not going to be able to do it."  
  
With a frustrated sigh Neil stopped his arguments and finished donning his coat. As much as he hated to admit it she had a valid point. When it came to her children Shannon was as protective as a mother hen. She would be too worried to be of any help. Quickly he gathered his bags, putting his gloves on again as Christy wrote a quick note for someone to find in the morning.   
  
"I want you to ride in front, Lass," Neil said as they stood at the door to leave.  
  
"It'll make it harder for you, Neil, you need to concentrate on the storm."  
  
"But it will keep you warmer, and besides," he said, buttoning the top button of her coat, the one she always managed to forget about. "Charlie knows the way, he'll do fine."  
  
Giving in she wrapped her scarf a little tighter around her neck but it was no use; the wind took her breath away the moment she stepped outside. Already cold Christy was all too ready to welcome Neil's arms around her as he mounted behind her, their warmth a shelter from the winds. The ride was silent, both of them concentrating on the storm. Before she knew it they had entered a patch of the forest she didn't know and Christy found herself unable to recognize anything.   
  
Glad that Neil knew where they were going she huddled into his chest a little farther and wondered about this family they were going to help. She'd never heard of the O'Malley's before. If they had children why weren't they in school? And who was Tommy? The husband? Christy didn't have anymore time to ponder the O'Malley family as she saw a light glimmering up ahead. They'd reached the cabin.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Dismounting Christy hurried into the cabin, Neil right behind her. The door was opened as she reached it and a young girl, no older than eight or nine years old ushered both of them inside. Shaking off the snow Neil immediately went towards the bed where a little girl shivered and moaned under the thin blanket. Sitting by her side Neil pulled back the blanket and examined the little girl while Christy shed her coat and moved to speak with the mother.  
  
"I'm Christy," she introduced herself to the woman, her long red hair hanging around in stringy clumps. Taking her hand into her own Christy squeezed and smiled at the frightened mother. "Doctor MacNeill is going to take very good care of your little girl. Can you tell me about her? I'd like to get to know her."  
  
"She be my youngest young'un, Darby. I also got Marie an' Tommy, my only boy."  
  
Moving over to the table in the center of the cabin Christy set Shannon down in one of the chairs and turned to make some tea from the water already on the stove. From his place next to little Darby Neil bit back his smile. She was diverting Shannon's attention from Darby, keeping her occupied with another subject. Thanking God that he hadn't forced her to stay at home he continued in a thorough examination of little Darby until Neil had no doubts of what plagued the little girl. Tucking the blanket in around her tightly he turned and joined the two women at the table. As if from the shadows a young man joined them and for the first time Christy met the young man named Tommy O'Malley.  
  
"Darby is going to be all right, Shannon. She's a very sick little girl right now, but with the right treatment she'll be fine. For the next week she cannot leave that bed. She'll need to drink plenty of clean water and broth, nothing solid. I've given her some aspirin powder for the pain and a dose of quinine for the fever. You'll need to keep the cabin warm, a fire going as hot as you can stand it."  
  
"Oh thank the Lord!" she cried, putting her hands to her chest. "My baby's goin' ta be alraght!"  
  
"I'll make sure we gots plenty o'wood, Doc," Tommy said.  
  
Shifting her attention to the young man Christy stared at him for a moment. She knew from Shannon that he was only sixteen years old but he looked much older, nineteen or twenty practically. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his arms and chest were well muscled from his work over the past years. But it was the boy's eyes that held her attention. Those deep brown eyes were so serious, the laughter was almost completely gone except for a small spark of it, so far hidden Christy wondered if it wouldn't disappear in a few more years of life in these mountains.   
  
It made her heart weep that a boy his age would live a life without laughter.  
  
"Ya cain't raghtly be goin' out in thi'storm, Doc. Ye an' Miz Christy best tuck in 'ere fer th'night."  
  
"I agree Tommy. I'll help you put the horses in the barn."  
  
Donning their coats, Tommy's so worn Christy couldn't help but wonder if it provided any warmth at all, and headed outside into the storm the men left the cabin. Shutting the door behind them Christy looked over to see Shannon wiping the sweaty brow of her youngest child, the fear gone from her eyes though the worry was still present in spades. From the corner of her eyes Christy saw the other little girl, Marie, watching her mother and sister, a look of jealousy playing in her eyes. The young girl craved the same affection and attention that Christy had seen when she first arrived in Cutter Gap.  
  
Smiling she crossed the room and reached out to Marie with a soft hand. Sitting in one of the chairs she pulled the small young girl into her arms. In her lap Christy stroked her gnarled brown hair with a gentle touch, much the same way she had with little Mountie so long ago. Though stiff at first Marie soon melted to Christy, the soft touch laying claim to a part of her heart that yearned for it.  
  
"My name is Christy," she said softly.  
  
"I'm Marie," the little girl whispered hesitantly. "Is you the teacher that Doc be courtin'?"  
  
Despite herself Christy giggled. "Yes, that's me."  
  
"Cin ya read, teacher?"  
  
"Yes I can, Marie. Would you like for me to read you a story?"  
  
The brown eyes grew wide with glee before they shrank back in despair. "We ain't got no book fer readin'," she said, her voice so sad that Christy's heart hurt.  
  
"Well then how about if I tell you a story instead? Would you like that?"  
  
"Yes'm," she breathed, new joy filling her eyes.  
  
Wracking her brain for a story Christy thought for a moment before beginning her tale.   
  
"Once, a long time ago, there was a young girl, about your age I think, and she lived with her three brother and their uncle in the mountains. Now the brothers loved their little sister very much but their uncle did not. He didn't like the little girl because she reminded him so much of the girl's mother and it made him sad. One day the uncle got so mad at the girl that he decided he was going to make her leave. Only he knew that her brothers would never allow him to make the girl leave."  
  
"So the uncle waited until the brothers left to hunt in the forest one morning and he took the little girl far, far away from their cabin. The long walk made the little girl very tired and when they stopped in a cave to rest she fell asleep. While she was sleeping the uncle slipped away, leaving the little girl all alone in the forest that she didn't know. When she woke up a long time later the little girl looked around and realized that she was all alone in the dark and she got scared. Hugging her knees to her chest the little girl cried and cried and cried until she cried herself to sleep."  
  
"When she woke up again the sun was shining brightly and the birds were singing in the trees. Leaving the cave she wandered through the forest until she came to a cabin. The door was open and the little girl went inside to see an old woman lying in her bed, she was sick. Feeling bad for her the little girl took care of the old woman until she was better. When the old woman heard what the mean uncle had done to the sweet little girl she declared that they would live in the cabin together."  
  
"Years passed and the little girl grew up to be a beautiful woman and though she lived a very good life with the old woman she couldn't help but remember her kind brothers from so long ago and she missed them very much. Seeing how much she missed them the old woman declared that they would return to her uncle's cabin so she could see her three brothers again. The next day hey hitched up the wagon and traveled until they came to the cabin. A young man was sitting out front and when he saw the young woman and the old woman ride up he ran inside to get his pa and his uncles."  
  
"When the older men came out they saw the two women and couldn't believe their eyes. Running to the wagon one of them grabbed the young woman in his arms before the other two also hugged her close. It was their sister, the sweet little girl that had been gone for so many years. That night, sitting by the fire, the oldest brother told the girl what the uncle had told the brothers. The mean old uncle had lied to them and told them that their sister was dead. But now they knew the truth and they refused to let their sister out of their sight."  
  
"The old woman and the young woman came to live with the brothers and they all lived happily ever after as one big happy family."  
  
As Christy had been telling the story neither she nor little Marie noticed that both of the men had come back into the cabin, taking a seat at the table to listen to the story, as well as Shannon and little Darby listening as well. When she finished Christy realized that Marie was asleep in her arms. Smiling she kissed the young girls cheek and stood to put her in the second bed in the corner next to the wall. Laying the quilt over the young girl's body Christy kissed her cheek before turning back toward the fire.  
  
When she saw everyone watching her intently a small blush rose to her cheeks and Christy busied herself at the fire, stoking it to boil some water for tea. Tea made she sat at the table, giving one cup to Shannon, Neil and Tommy each. The four people sat at the table while the two little girls slept.  
  
"Shannon, I simply have to ask. Why have I never seen the children in school?"  
  
"Oh well I cain't raghtly afford no school's tax, ma'am."  
  
Looking to Neil with a confused look on her face Christy saw her and gave a small shrug, he didn't understand either. "I'm sorry, Shannon. I don't understand. What tax?"  
  
"The school tax," Shannon explained. "When we was in the city we had ta pay the school tax to the teacher. But we ain't got no cash money ta pay it with."  
  
Reaching out she put her hand over Shannon's. "Oh, Shannon, there is no tax! Any of the children are welcome, I would love to see Darby and Marie come to school." Turning to Tommy Christy met his eyes. "You too, Tommy. I have several of the older boys who come to school. If they can't stay the while day then they'll come for half a day and then go home to their farms or the mill."  
  
"No, thank you, ma'am. I can read and that's all I need. But if ya can teach my sisters ta read I'd be much obliged."  
  
"Oh but there's so much more to learn than just to read a book. There's arithmetic and history and science and..."  
  
"I'm sorry ma'am," Tommy interrupted her. "I ain't got n'time fer learnin', I gots ta take care of m'family."  
  
She opened her mouth to protest but stopped when she saw Neil meet her eyes and give a small shake of his head, 'Don't push it'. Closing her mouth she held her tongue, waiting for later to ask him why. It wasn't until later, sitting on the floor in front of the fire, the rest of the household asleep, that Christy was finally able to ask Neil about his silent comment.   
  
"Why did you not want me to try and get Tommy into school?" she asked him.  
  
Sighing Neil shifted a little closer to her, taking her hand in his as he leaned back against the wall. In a soft voice he gave his reasoning. "Tommy is very serious about caring for his mother and sisters. He is the head of his family, and he refuses to do anything that will take away even just a little part of that responsibility. I've known Tommy since he came to Cutter Gap six years ago and even then, as a little ten year old boy, he has been that way. Nothing that you can say will change his mind and pressing the matter will only drive further away."  
  
"But why?" she whispered back.  
  
"Do you know the story of how the O'Malley's came to Cutter Gap?" She shook her head. "Jack O'Malley was hung for murder and theft, Shannon had nowhere to go so she came home to her sister, Mary Allen. Bob couldn't support all four of them so he fixed up this cabin and they've lived here since. That was six years ago, Tommy was ten at the time, and even then he took over as the man of the household. He told Bob to teach him everything he needed to do and he did it. Hunting, repairing the cabin, working the field... he did it all."  
  
"I asked him once why he was so adamant about taking the lead of the family. I thought that maybe he thought it was his responsibility as the only male but that's not what he told me. Tommy told me that he'd promised his Pa. That's he'll ever say, he promised his Pa. Everyone thinks of him as a coward because he refuses to fight. Now I don't know what exactly that promise was but I know that he has put himself through some very difficult situations because of it. Tommy O'Malley is a man of his word and he'll keep it, no matter what the cost is to himself."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
  
Stepping out of the cabin, shutting the door behind her, Christy took a deep breath of the frigid morning air and looked around at the woods surrounding the cabin. Wrapping her shawl a little tighter she stepped off the stairs and into the snow, staring up at the morning sky. There were still a few stars in the sky and the moon hadn't quite disappeared yet as she walked through the yard, stopping at the forest edge. She couldn't stop thinking about the story Neil had told her last night, the way Tommy, his sisters and their mother, their life the way it was in Cutter Gap.  
  
Though she'd been here for a while now she had never even heard of the O'Malley family and she couldn't help but wonder why. Why was it that no one had mentioned them? Why didn't they come to services? How did they get on here with just the four of them, only one man working the entire farm, caring for two little girls and their mother? Shivering against the cold, but questions still raging in her head, Christy hugged her arms tighter and moved to the safety of a large tree, it's trunk blocking the slight wind of early morning winter.  
  
Staring out, seeing nothing, she found her thoughts drifting to the previous night, sitting by the fire, Neil's hand in hers. A small smile graced her face even as a small blush tainted her cheeks. She loved Neil, with every beat of her heart; there was no doubt in her heart about that. Ever since he had lay down next to her in that cave, his eyes searching hers, never giving up on regaining her trust, willing to do what ever it took, wait as long as she needed. She'd never forgotten that and every day since then he'd proven everything to her over and over again. His love for her, his faith in her; every day she saw the way that he had crept into her heart farther than she had ever thought possible.  
  
Gone were the days that she just wasn't sure of what she wanted, unsure of what her future held out to her. Christy knew how her life would be. Oh she didn't know the details, but she knew the big picture. She and Neil would marry, they would have a family, and she would support his research even if it meant leaving the cove some day. She could see it in her mind and feel it in her heart as clearly as she could see and feel the winter around her.  
  
"Lass?"  
  
Jumping at the sound of his voice Christy turned to see Neil standing a few feet away from her. Smiling, "I didn't hear you coming."  
  
"I noticed." Gazing at her his one eyebrow rose in curiosity. "What are you doing out here, Christy?"  
  
Shrugging she wasn't sure what to say. "Just thinking."  
  
"What about?" he asked softly.  
  
Staring blindly past him for a moment Christy was caught up in her musings from before. With a small toss of her head she pulled herself out of them again. "Life, I guess."  
  
Seeing her distant eyes, the serious look on her face Neil's heart dropped as he imagined the worst. "Are you not happy here anymore?" he said, voicing his fear.  
  
Blinking Christy stared at Neil for a moment, her brow drawing in confusion. "Neil, what...?"Taking a step closer she reached out and touched his arm. "Why would you even ask that? I love being here, the cove is my home." Stepping even closer she looked up into his blue eyes and saw the lingering doubt within them. "Oh Neil, there is nowhere I would rather be than right here, in the cove, with my children, teaching at my school and knowing each day how much I love you."  
  
Smiling Neil wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too, Christy." Lowering his head he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "It's freezing out here, Lass. You should come back inside where it's warm."  
  
"In a moment, Neil. I want to enjoy the peace for a moment."  
  
Tightening his hold on her Neil and Christy watched the sun rise through the trees. Their backs to the cabin door neither one saw young Tommy slip out of the cabin and head of into the woods.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Slipping out of the cabin, axe in hand, Tommy saw the Doctor and his girl standing at the edge of the forest, lost in each other. Pausing for a moment he felt a small twinge of envy at the sight of their love, an open relationship for the world to see. Shaking his head he pulled his coat tighter and slipped off into the forest, he was already late. Hurrying he trudged through the snow. When Tommy got to his chopping block he saw her sitting there waiting for him, shivering. Pulling off his coat Tommy draped it over her shoulders. "Sorry I was late," he smiled at her.  
  
"S'okay," Zady smiled at him. Getting up she moved over to another log so he could begin working. "How's Darby feelin'?"  
  
"Better," he replied as he set up the first log to be chopped. "Doc MacNeill sez she'll be fine in a few days. Ma's still worried but she ain't afearin' nearly as much as b'fore."  
  
"I'm sure she'll be fine, Doc's real good."  
  
"I know, I'll jest be glad when she's better an' Ma can stop worryin'."  
  
Silence fell for a moment as Tommy split the first log. For almost a year now they had been meeting like this, once a week in the middle of the forest. Zady would slip away from her home and meet Tommy while he chopped wood for his family. It had begun by accident, Zady, wandering through the woods, had stumbled across Tommy. From that day on they had met once a week, talking, laughing. It was the only time they could spend together and it hadn't taken the two teens to discover they were in love. But with the outcast status of the O'Malley's there was little chance Jeb would allow Tommy to court Zady. It was a dark cloud that hung, unspoken, over their time together.  
  
"I brung one o' the teachers books. She said I culd read it. I was thinkin' m'be I culd read it to ya."  
  
Smiling at her Tommy nodded. Opening the book to the beginning page Zady's soft voice filled the air as she read aloud, the thunk of the axe interrupting every now and then. When his chopping was done Tommy landed the axe in the chopping block and moved to sit on the ground, leaning against the log next to Zady, watching her as she read. It was a story he remembered from school, when they lived in the city. After a few more pages Zady stopped reading and looked down at Tommy. "I guess I best be goin' 'fore Ma an' Pa start ta worry."  
  
Standing they headed off toward the Spencer cabin. Shyly, unsure of her reaction, Tommy reached out and took Zady's hand in his own. Smiling, as shy as he was, she held onto his hand until they parted at the felled tree, the closest spot to the cabin that wouldn't allow anyone else to see them. Smiling at each other one more time they split ways, Tommy heading back into the woods while Zady finished her trek back to the cabin, waiting until next week to see each other again.  
  
"You been out kinda early, girl."  
  
Glancing up quickly Zady saw her father emerging from the cabin. "I was jest walkin' Pa," she replied to him.  
  
"Well ya best git on in an' help yer ma," Jeb told her, laying a soft hand on her shoulder before heading off towards the beehives.   
  
"Yes'sir." Climbing the stairs into the cabin Zady approached her mother and began to dry the dishes Fairlight had just washed. "I'm sorry I'm late Ma."  
  
Glancing at her daughter Fairlight bit back her grin. She knew full well where Zady had been. "You're gonna have to start gettin' back faster, Zady. I cain't stop yer Pa if'n he finds out whar ya been goin'."  
  
Slack jawed Zady stared at her Ma. She knew, all this time Fairlight had known. "Ma..."  
  
"I know what its like to be so young, Zady. I still remember what it was like when yer pa started courtin' me. I woulda done near anythin' ta be near him."   
  
Quiet for a moment Zady concentrated on drying the dish in her hands. "I love him, Ma."  
  
Fairlight glanced down at her daughter and read her face like the storm clouds in the sky. She had seen the change in her little girl, had watched her slowly grow up over the last two years, suddenly becoming aware of the world around her. Gone was the innocent little girl who used to stare at the clouds and play in the trees. Her little Zady had grown up.  
  
"Why cain't people jest let the O'Malley's be? They ain't been a bother ta no one. Why does Tommy need ta be punished 'cause o' what his Pa dun? It ain't raght!"  
  
"I know, Zady," Fairlight whispered. Reaching out she caressed her daughter's cheek. "I know."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
  
Christy was standing at the chalkboard when she heard the sound of people climbing the stairs. Turning she was surprised to see Shannon O'Malley and little Marie standing in the doorway. "I did some thinkin' on what ya said and I'd like my girls ta get some learnin'."  
  
Smiling she moved down the aisleway to meet them. "I'm so glad Shannon! How is little Darby doing?"  
  
"Better. Doc Neil said she should be fittin' fer school in a few weeks. I was gonna wait on my Marie but she was real keen on gettin' her learnin' so I let her come. My boy Tommy will be here ta fetch her when school gits out."  
  
Christy smiled once more and held her hand out to Marie. Once the two women had said their good-byes Christy turned her full attention to the little girl standing next to her. "Welcome to school Marie, why don't you come take a seat up front and we can get you all set up with a few of the things you're going to need?"  
  
"Tommy gave me his slate, Miss Christy. He dun said I'd need it fer learnin' but I ain't gots no chalk fer it." The little girl's voice was filled with a hidden fear.  
  
"Well I tell you what," Christy smiled at her, trying desperately to dissuade the young girls fear. "Why don't I give you this piece of chalk for your slate board so you can practice your letters and writing but when you hand in your homework why don't you do it on this paper instead, okay?"  
  
Marie nodded, a small smile forming on her somber face. Standing next to the teacher she watched as Christy drew a square in the corner and then in the small square she drew a shape on the slate board. "Do you know what this is, Marie?" She shook her head no. "This is the letter 'A'. It's the very first letter in the alphabet. Why don't you take this piece of chalk and try to copy it?"  
  
Handing Marie the chalk Christy watched as she slowly and thoughtfully copied the letter, her lines shaky. Encouraging her Christy could hear the other children approaching the school and knew it was time to get class in order. With a gentle hand she directed Marie to take a seat in the front, next to Mountie's spot. As the children filled the school no one noticed the young girl sitting up front except the quiet little girl who was to sit next to her.  
  
"Hi," she whispered shyly.  
  
Glancing up from her slate board Marie looked at the blond haired girl sitting next to her. "Hi," she whispered back.   
  
"You gonna be schoolin' now?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Teacher's real nice."  
  
"Purty too."  
  
"All right children; everyone pay attention!" Standing before the class Christy called out for everyone's attention. As class began, lessons given, Marie sat in awe, listening to the older students as they recited their lessons. By the time noon recess was called her letter copying was abandoned as she listened to the others. When the children escaped to the outdoors Christy watched as Zady stayed behind, moving towards the front of the school to Marie's side. Quietly she sat down next to the little girl and began working with her on the letter.   
  
Not interrupting, not making a sound, she watched, Zady and Marie, side by side in the bench seat. But it wasn't until after school let out that she fully understood Zady's wholehearted interest in Marie. When Christy saw the half hidden look that passed between Zady and Tommy when he came to collect his little sister she knew right away, not a doubt in her mind.  
  
They were in love.  
  
Gathering her things Christy headed towards the mission and smiled when she saw Charlie tied to the hitching post. Hurrying up the stairs she entered the mission to see Neil hanging up the phone in the main room. "Is school out already?"  
  
"Yes," she replied. "Who were you on the phone with?"  
  
"An old friend," Neil smiled, helping her with her coat. "I just needed to ask him a question."  
  
"Was he able to answer it for you?"  
  
Smiling Neil knew she was assuming it was a doctor. "Yes, he did."  
  
"Good." Her coat hung up and books set down on the table Christy turned to Neil. "Can you stay or did you need to leave?"  
  
"I'm all yours lass." Raising his eyebrow Neil took a step closer. "What did you have in mind?"  
  
Tilting her head up to meet his eyes she smiled. "Science papers. I figure since you're here you can help me grade them."  
  
Rolling his eyes Neil laughed and pulled Christy into a hug.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
  
Piling the logs high in the corner of the cabin Tommy stepped back and took a moment to tuck in the blanket a little tighter around his little sisters. Both Marie and Darby were sleeping already, Marie finally calming down after the excitement of her first day at school. Tommy could remember when school had been fun for him as well, before the new teacher had destroyed it with his rules and regulations. Smiling he sat down at the table with his Ma while she finished mending his shirt.  
  
"Marie was real excited about her schoolin' today," he commented. "All I heard 'bout on the way home was what she had heard an' seed at the school."  
  
"I'm glad she gits ta go. I been wantin' my girls ta be readin' ta me when we be here at night."  
  
"I can read ta ya Ma, all's ya had ta do was ask."  
  
"No, Tommy, I know ya gots too much work ta do."  
  
"Ma, I'd never tell ya no."  
  
"I know, hon, that's why I never asked ya. There is too much fer ya to do as is. I cain't ask no more of ya." Seeing Tommy open his mouth to protest Shannon raised her hand to stop him. "Listen ta me Tommy, you been doin' such a fine job o' takin' car o' me 'n' the young'uns that sometimes I ferget yer jest a boy. Now I don' mean that you ain't a man at'all its jest that yer still so young. You been carin' fer us since ya was ten years old. I cain't ask ya to do any more then ya already does. I jest wants ya ta be happy."  
  
Sitting back in his seat Tommy stared at the fire, thinking, his mind wandering aimlessly but always returning to the same angelic face, soft doe brown eyes framed behind hair that was the same color as her eyes. Unknown to him a small smile crossed his face and Shannon smiled at her eldest child. She knew he was in love with that young girl she'd seen a few times. "Is you gonna talk to her pa?"  
  
Lifting his eyes to the half hidden smile on his mothers face Tommy couldn't help but grin back at her.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
From the forests edge Tommy watched Jeb Spencer caring for the hives, checking to make sure everything was working properly. Taking a deep breath Tommy bolstered his courage and emerged from the shadows. "Mr. Spencer," he called out. "I was wantin' ta speak with ya fer a moment."  
  
Looking up Jeb nodded to the young man. "What can I do fer ya?"  
  
"I wanted ta speak wid ya 'bout's comin' ta court Zady."  
  
Standing still for a moment Jeb looked at the young man who stood before him. He knew Tommy was only sixteen even though he could easily pass for a man, his looks making him appear much older than he really was. Jeb also knew that he had been caring for his kin since he was ten years old, a role that Tommy took very seriously. Jeb had no problems with him as a man, be it young or not. But courting Zady? It was there that Jeb had one big problem.   
  
"No, Tommy," Jeb said as he shook his head. "I cain't allow ya ta court my Zady."  
  
"But Mr. Spencer..."  
  
"No Tommy. I ain't gonna say yes."  
  
"Why?" Tommy asked, his tone polite but firm.  
  
"Because I ain't gonna let no one come near my girl who won't do whatever it takes ta protect her." Jeb too spoke with an even yet firm tone. Both men knew exactly what he was talking about.  
  
Closing his eyes for a moment Tommy reached out to shake Jeb's hand before turning to leave. With each step he felt his heart sink lower into his chest. No direction in particular Tommy found himself at the large rock by the river. Leaning back against it he crossed his arms over his chest and stared, unseeingly, out into the distance. It was over. The one thing that had brought him pure happiness was over, squashed by the one man who stood between him and Zady.   
  
Her father.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
  
"Neil where are we going?"  
  
Laughing Neil refused to tell her. "Just wait, Lass. You'll see soon enough."  
  
Her smaller hand engulfed within his own large one Neil led Christy up the hill to a spot he had prepared earlier that day. Stopping still she stared at the sight before her. A blanket lay on the ground, filled with all sorts of food, a picnic just for two. Smiling at him she allowed Neil to guide her to her seat on the blanket, he dropping down next to her.   
  
"Are you hungry?" he asked her.  
  
"Not just yet. You?"  
  
"No," he breathed. He was too nervous to be hungry. "Christy, there was another reason I brought you up here."  
  
Smiling at him Christy saw that he was acting nervous and, closing her eyes for a moment to blink back a tear that pricked her eye, Christy knew what was to come next. Taking his hand in hers she met his eyes and waited for him to continue.  
  
"Lass, you know how much I love you," Neil began. "I have since the moment I saw you in the Allen cabin. I know we didn't get along at first, and I know that we still disagree over many things. We've come a long way since that time. We've been through some very rocky places but it has only brought us closer. Christy," squeezing her hands a little tighter, "Will you marry me?"  
  
The tear she had been holding back fell, tripping its way past her lashes to rest on her cheek, sparkling in the sunlight. Unable to speak, too overcome by the love that welled up in her heart, Christy brought his hand to her lips and kissed them. Nodding she managed to whisper, "Yes," before he took her into his arms, holding her close, his heart as over come as hers. "I love you, Neil."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Meal eaten, heart no longer racing from the excitement of her reply to his question, leaning back on his elbow, Neil gazed up at Christy whose eyes had been caught up in the beauty around them.  
  
"It seems that no matter how long I've lived here, no matter how many times I see the view of the cove that it only gets more and more beautiful," she said softly.  
  
Watching her Neil could feel the emotions in her voice and her eyes, they were tugging on his own heart. She'd been so serious lately, there were times when she would stare off into the distance with an expression he couldn't read and it worried him. Christy always professed to love the cove, calling it her home over and over again. Neil knew she was happy teaching the children, living at the mission; he knew she loved him and that she would marry him. But at times like this, when she would stare off in silence, her eyes too clouded for him to see the thoughts running behind those blue eyes he loved, he couldn't help the stab of fear that rose in his heart. That perhaps she was beginning to feel the same way Margaret had, trapped.  
  
"Lass," he began. "Tell me what you're thinking."  
  
Called back to him Christy turned her head and gazed down in confusion at Neil. "Can't you read me, Neil? You must be loosing your touch," she teased. Though a smile flickered on his lips she could see that it didn't reach his eyes. Something was really bothering him. "Neil, what is it? What's wrong?" Reaching out she took his hand in hers again. "Tell me."  
  
Sitting up Neil faced Christy, meeting her gaze with his own serious blue eyes. "There are times when I'll look at you and you'll just be staring off at something. I can't read you're eyes, I can't see past their color and it makes me wonder what you're thinking. I can't help but wonder if..." Neil's voice waned, unable to complete his thought.  
  
Staring at him Christy realized what it was he wasn't saying. She realized for the first time that he didn't know what she was really thinking, what she was doing when she stared at the world around her. "Oh, Neil," she breathed. "I'm so sorry, I thought... You always seem to read me so well I forget that you don't know everything that runs through my mind."  
  
"Neil, I love you, I love the children, I love the cove. I will never... ever...get tired of being here. I'm not Margaret; I'm here because I choose to be here, not because someone is keeping me here."  
  
"Then why do you look so serious sometimes?"  
  
"It's..." Christy laughed with a small shake of her head. "It's stupid really. I'm memorizing." Neil's brow drew in confusion. "You see I knew that if, when, we got married that I would stand by your side through whatever happened. And I also knew that eventually we would leave the cove, that you would have to take your research to a city hospital. But when that happens I want to be able to close my eyes and picture in my mind the one place that I feel connected to like I have never felt before. So I've been memorizing what the cove looks like so that when that time comes, I'll always have a picture of it in my mind."  
  
Neil stared at Christy, speechless at what she had just told him. All this time he thought she had wanted to get out of the cove when she had really been trying to keep it with her forever. "Oh Christy," he finally breathed. Pulling her to him Neil caressed her cheek, wiping the tear from its resting spot on her cheek. "I love you."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
Running through the forest, hurrying to find him, Zady's tears were rolling down her cheeks. No sooner had she gotten home from school then she'd heard her youngest sister tell her what had happened between Tommy and her Pa, and that Jeb had said no. Up ahead she saw him standing, his back to her. Skirting around him Zady looked up into his eyes.  
  
"Why?" she cried.  
  
Looking down he frowned. "I had to."  
  
"No, ya didn't!" she yelled.  
  
"Don't you take that tone with me, young'un," Jeb replied as he stared down at his daughter, the tears coursing down her cheeks. "I dun what's best."  
  
"No, Pa!" Zady cried. "I love Tommy, I love him with all my heart and that ain't nevuh gonna change! Not even if you try an' stop me!"  
  
Turning, Zady fled from her father and ran off into the woods, away from the man that had, in her eyes, destroyed her life. As fast as she could she ran through the woods until she found herself by the river, stopping at its banks, her tears still flowing as quickly as the river before her. As she stood there crying Zady felt a light hand on her shoulder and turned to see Tommy standing behind her. With a sob she threw her arms around him and he held her tightly as they stood by the river, their wished for future quickly disappearing from before their very eyes.  
  
"What are we gonna do?" she whispered after some time.  
  
Sighing Tommy stepped back from Zady. "I luv ya Zady, you knows I do. But I got's ta do as yer Pa says. I ain't gonna cross him."  
  
"But Tommy..." Zady whispered, her eyes wide and shining.  
  
"I luv's ya Zady. I always will," Tommy whispered to her. With one last look he turned away from her, walking away before the tear stinging at the back of his eye had a chance to fall. He could hear the tears, the sobs, as he walked and his heart ached that he was causing her such pain but Tommy was a man of his word, and he wouldn't cross Jeb on the decision.  
  
Watching him walk away from her Zady felt her heart break in two.   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
Entering the mission with some supplies for Alice's stock Neil saw Christy standing by the phone, earpiece to her ear, head leaning against the wall. She was the picture of woe personified. Holding back his smile Neil leaned against the doorway to watch and listen to the woman he loved.  
  
"Yes Mother... I know... I'll be sure to tell him... Mother I really don't think that... Yes Mother... Yes Mother... Fifteen!!! Mother there is simply no room for fifteen guests here at the mission! ... No! I can't ask them to... Mother please... Mother... Yes Mother... Good bye Mother." Hanging up the phone Christy sagged against the wall and dropped her head into her hands. "I can't do this anymore," she moaned.   
  
His smile disappeared instantly. Neil knew Julia had been giving Christy a hard time but she had seemed to be handling it well enough on her own. Now though Neil knew she had simply been hiding how tough it truly was on her. Crossing the distance between them he pulled her into his arms, a comforting hug to soothe her nerves. Laying her head on his chest Christy wrapped her arms around him and tried to soak up his calm nature. He'd been so understanding over the last few weeks that Christy had found herself turning to him again and again for support and stability, especially after speaking with her mother over the telephone.  
  
"Let's get out of here, Lass. No more wedding planning today."  
  
"I have too many things to do," she sighed, stepping away from him. "There's the crate in El Pano that still needs to be picked up, I have to find rooms for fifteen guests that Mother is planning on bringing with her, not to mention the seamstress that mother's sending a few days before she gets here. Then there's..."  
  
Placing a finger across her lips Neil silenced her outpour of chores. "Not today," he repeated.   
  
Tugging on her hand Neil led Christy out the door and, climbing up first, he pulled her up onto Charlie before riding out of the mission yard. Her arms wrapped around him Christy leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes until they stopped some time later. Opening her eyes she looked up to see a place in the cove she had never seen before. "Neil?"  
  
"I wanted you to add this place to your store of pictures of our cove."  
  
Getting off of Charlie's back Christy moved toward the water, a river with a small waterfall cascading off a few large boulders. Mesmerized by its beauty she didn't hear Neil approaching until he was by her side, placing his arm around her waist. Smiling she looked up at him. "Tell me about this place."  
  
Grinning back at her Neil led her to a fallen log and side by side they sat, watching the water fall. "When I was a little boy my Pa used to take me here to fish. Ma would get so sick of him standing there with his pole while she was trying to do the wash that on wash day we would come here to fish and Ma would have the river to herself. This is where I caught my very first fish. It was so little that I ended up feeding it to the cat as a snack but I was so proud of my first catch that I talked it up until it was as big as I was. Pa never said a word otherwise, never bothered to tell anyone how small it really was."  
  
Christy laughed. "Do you ever come here to fish anymore?"  
  
"No, not since I've had the river to myself. Of course, I may have to start making that trek again once you come to do the wash," he grinned down at her. "I wouldn't want to get in your way."  
  
"Oh, I think we can work something out."  
  
Silence fell as they sat watching the water rush around the rocks. Leaning her head against his shoulder Christy added the little waterfall to her stash of memories, Neil's tale with it. After some time Neil looked down only to realize that she had fallen asleep. Smiling he kissed the top of her head and looked back over the river only to see Zady walking the shoreline, arms laced around herself, head hung low. Seeing her reminded Neil of the heated discussion he and Christy had last week, just after finding out that Jeb had told Tommy no.  
  
'You agree with Jeb?!" she had asked him incredulously, her eyes wide as she looked across the desk at him.  
  
"Yes," he'd replied. "I think he made the right decision."  
  
"Neil, how could you, you've seen how in love they are!"  
  
"You want them to get married? You, the woman who thinks the children get married too young as it is, want them to get married?"  
  
"Well no, I don't want them to get married now, but I don't understand why Jeb would have flat out said no. Why didn't he say 'in a few years' or 'give it some time'? Why just 'no'?"  
  
"Lass, you have to see it from Jeb's point of view. Part of a father's job is to protect his children, especially his daughter. When a father meets the man his daughter wants to marry he needs to be sure that the man will take care of his little girl the same we he did. As good a man that Tommy is, and you know I'm one of his biggest supporters, he won't be able to protect Zady if he continues to refuse to fight. Jeb knows that and as a father he'll continue to do whatever it takes to protect Zady, even if it means not letting her marry Tommy."  
  
She hadn't liked his answer but she couldn't argue her way out of it, not even in her own mind. He had watched her sit silently for some time, going over his words again and again in her mind. The wheels turning in her mind he smiled when she frowned and got back to the paper she was grading. His point had been made.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
  
Halfway across the mission yard Christy stopped in her tracks at the sight of the three men climbing the second set of stairs to the mission veranda. The hairs standing up on the back of her neck she tried to shake off the feeling but it wouldn't leave. Continuing across the yard she climbed the first set of stairs and hurried around the veranda to the back door of the mission. Quickly placing her books on the counter of the kitchen she slipped into the main room of the mission to see Miss Alice speaking with one of the three men.  
  
"Where is she?" he demanded, his voice rough and his words slightly slurred.  
  
"I do not understand what thee is talking about," Alice replied, standing her ground against the men.  
  
When the man took a step closer to her mentor Christy knew she couldn't remain silent. "What's going on?" she asked, taking several steps into the room. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Turning to look at her Christy saw the man sneer. "Thought ya could hide from us, did'ya?" Taking a few threatening steps towards her Christy backed up as he tried to get closer. "Whar d'you think yer goin'?"  
  
"Away from you and I suggest you do the same." Glancing to the doorway Christy saw Neil filling it, riding gloves held in his hands, a stern look on his face. With two long strides he had placed himself between the men and Christy, squared off with the man who had been advancing on her. "What do you want?"  
  
"He's the Doc," one of the men whispered loudly to the others.   
  
"I aims ta get what I came fer, so I's suggest ya's don't git in my way, Doc." Motioning to the other two men to follow him he moved to the doorway. "We'll be back fer you ya trollop."  
  
Gasping as though she'd been slapped it was all Christy could do to watch as Neil grabbed the man who had spoken and shoved him out the door, throwing him down the stairs. Ready to do more he stopped when Alice called him back, yelling at him to calm down before he went to far. Stopping Neil bellowed at the men to get out of the cove before he lost his temper. Only once they had gone from view did he turn back toward the mission building, entering it to see Christy, hand over her mouth, tears in her confused eyes.  
  
"What happened, Alice?" Neil demanded as he pulled Christy to him, she too shocked to do anything but stand there.  
  
"I do not know," she said. "They entered the mission and demanded that she present herself, that they knew she was here. When Christy entered the room they turned on her, I do not know what would have happened had thee not come, Neil."  
  
Quiet during Alice's explanation Christy could picture their beady eyes in her mind and a shiver coursed over her. Instantly Neil's arm tightened around her and she welcomed the pressure of it digging into her side, a reminder that she was okay. The sight of that man advancing on her, the hate she had seen in his eyes would haunt her for quite some time, of that much she was certain. But what she didn't understand was why? What had made them hate her so? She'd never seen them before, never even heard of them before so the question begged to be asked...  
  
Who did they think she was?  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Fourteen  
  
  
Sitting on the steps to the mission Christy laughed at the sight before her. The men of the cove facing off over a long rope with a neckerchief tied in the middle. She had to bite back a laugh, the men in a serious competition with one another, sweating, pulling, muscles working overtime. Along with the other women she cheered the man she loved, yelling out to him that he was doing well, that his team would win. And when the team lost she swallowed her laugh and headed out to soothe his bruised ego.  
  
Once more sitting on the steps Christy looked out at the laughing people and her eyes were drawn to the only two people in the large group that couldn't find it in their hearts to smile. A few yards away, sitting on a stump log by herself, arms laced around her sides, eyes staring out at nothing and yet everything to her. Across the yard, feeling much the same way, Tommy leaned against a tree, his face carefully blank. But to those who could read his eyes his pain was as easy to see as the sun in the sky.  
  
For everyone else the picnic was going well, a needed break for everyone in the cove. Gathering together, after service, the families had each brought something to share and the picnic had been going on since. Food already eaten, games played, everyone was sitting back enjoying the peaceful late afternoon calm when the calm was broken.  
  
"Whar is she?"  
  
Knowing that voice Christy automatically searched the crowd to find Neil. Across the yard he was already making his way to her, the voice ringing in his ears as well. But he couldn't move fast enough, the men had already spotted her. Seeing the look in his eyes, the hate that seeped out from them, Christy stepped back, heading towards Neil as fast as she could without being obvious. As though sensing that something was wrong the crowd moved, opening a line between Christy and Neil while closing off the two men advancing on the crowd.  
  
None of them saw the third man coming from behind.  
  
"Whar ya's think yer goin'?" he cried over Christy's scream as he grabbed her, holding her close to him, a steely arm wrapped around her waist. Several of the men moved to rush forward but a shot fired into the air stopped them in their tracks. "Don' no one git no closer!" the man yelled.  
  
Trying desperately to calm her racing heart Christy stood still, her eyes locked with Neil's.  
  
"We come fer this gal an we aims ta git what she dun owed us!" he yelled.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Christy cried, her voice shaking with fear. "I don't know you!"  
  
"Liar!" he yelled, squeezing her tighter. Jack O'Malley had had enough of her lying ways. "You know me jest like ya knows my brothers!"  
  
"No I don't!"  
  
"Let teacher go!" Zady cried, tears in her eyes for her teacher's safety.  
  
"Shet yer mouth, gal!"  
  
One of the men holding a shotgun frowned. "Teacher? Why'd y'all let someone lak her teach yer young'uns?" Jack's brother Jason asked.  
  
"Thee is making a mistake!" Alice cried. "She is the mission teacher!"  
  
Advancing on the man who held his fiancé Neil's hands were balled up into fists, his face set in a murderous scowl. "Leave her be," he growled at the man.  
  
"You stop raght there, Doc!" the man ordered. "This here my be yer gal but she cheated us when we was playing the poker an' we aim ta git what she owes."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"She knows what I be talkin'bout."  
  
"No I don't!" Christy cried, straining against his arm. "I don't know you; I've never seen you before you came to the mission!"  
  
"Yer li'en! You was thar tha night at th'teahouse!"  
  
Meeting his Gaze Christy knew, as did Neil, whom she had been confused with.   
  
"You've got the wrong woman," Neil said calmly, his tone carefully even. "You're looking for Margaret, not Christy. You've got the wrong woman."  
  
Glancing at each other the three men hesitated for a moment. Shaking his head the man holding refused to believe it. "Yer jest tryin' ta protect yer gal! Wahl I ain't gonna let ya!" Wrapping his large hand roughly about her neck Jack pulled on her roughly, dragging her away from the crowd.   
  
Seeing the fear in her eyes Zady couldn't let anything happen to Miss Christy again, not after what had happened last time. She could still remember the fear in her eyes when she and her Ma had gone to see the wounded teacher. There were nights that it still haunted her dreams and Zady knew she couldn't let it happen again. Moving faster than she knew she could the young Spencer woman reached out and snagged a hold of Christy's wrist. Caught off guard by her quick movements Jack didn't have time to react before Zady pulled her teacher away from him.  
  
"That waz a mistake, gal," Jack scowled, raising his hand to strike the brave young woman.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
  
A loud, stinging slap rang out as Jack's hand connected with Zady's face, the young girl crying out in pain from his blow. Pulling Zady to her Christy put herself between the two people, a vain attempt to try and protect the young girl. Even as Jack's hand had connected with Zady's cheek there was a surge of movement within the crowd. Neil moved toward Christy, Jeb toward Zady but neither man was fast enough. From behind her Jerry O'Malley, the third brother, grabbed Zady, pulling her away from Christy and towards him.  
  
As if for no reason Jerry suddenly let go of the young woman. Turning to face him, scared and yet curious as to why he let her go Zady saw Jerry handing his rifle to someone standing behind him. Before her eyes Tommy stepped around Jerry into view, handing the rifle off to Jeb before turning to face off with the other two O'Malley brothers. Neil also facing them, Christy practically invisible behind the large mountain man, the four men stood silently until one man broke it with his words.  
  
"Hit be one thang ta hurt a whore, Jack, but I ain't gonna touch no mission gal." Turning to his brother Jason put a restraining hand on his brother shoulder. "Let's go."  
  
"No!" Jack yelled. "Hit be her! I'd knows her cheatin' self an' she knows it too!"  
  
Waving his rifle wildly Jack pointed it at the two men, his aim wavering between both Tommy and Neil. In fear of the men they loved both Christy and Zady rushed forward, their cries rising in the air as they moved to stop the madman from hurting their men. In the confusion of the moment Jack's finger, his reflexes dulled by moonshine, pulled the trigger and a shot rang out. Instinctively everyone moved, the crowd falling to the ground, to safety, Jason pushing his brother so as to force the rifle away from the crowd. Tommy and Neil, realizing that Zady and Christy were in danger, pulled their love to them, turning their back's to Jack, in an attempt to keep the women safe, and dropped to the ground.  
  
Screams rose from the crowd, the men, women, and children fearing for their friends, their family. As the panic of the moment passed everyone began to take stock of what was around them, mothers checking for their children, husbands calling for their wives, each one searching to make sure their kin was alive and unharmed.   
  
On the ground, completely covered by his large frame, Christy struggled to check on Neil; her heart stopped cold that either the bullet or the fall had hurt him I some way. "Neil?" she whimpered. "Neil!" her voice raising when he didn't respond to her calling his name.  
  
Tightening his arms around her for a moment Neil lifted his head to peer down at Christy. "Are you all right, Lass?" he asked, the fear in his eyes mirrored by the terror in hers. Seeing her nod Neil breathed a sigh of relief, the nightmare of what could have happened still very vivid in his mind. "Thank God," he breathed. Taking a moment to hold her tightly Neil moved, getting to his knees and then his feet, pulling Christy up with him to stand amid the crowd.  
  
On the ground, much n the same situation Christy had found herself in, Zady was pinned to the grass by Tommy's full weight, his arms around her, protecting her. Sore from the fall, but no other real pain to speak of, she knew she was all right and, closing her eyes to stop the tears, hugged Tommy tightly. "Tommy," she whispered both a thank you and a prayer.   
  
After a moment Zady realized that he wasn't hugging her back. It was at that moment when she felt it, the warm stickiness that washed over her hands. With a ragged breath she forced herself to open her eyes and look at her hands. There, a stark contrast to her pale skin, was the one thing Zady had prayed with all her heart that she would not see.  
  
"TOMMY!!!"   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
  
Sitting in a chair by the fireplace of the mission house Zady stared at Tommy's face, the only part of him she could see beyond Doc Neil and Miss Alice. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she watched his face, refusing to look anywhere but directly at him, never looking away, never moving from her seat. Next to her Shannon O'Malley clasped her hands over her chest, rocking back and forth, praying under her breath that her only son would be all right. Out on the porch people waited for some news of the young man who had risked his life to save Zady.  
  
Over on the davenport Christy sat with Marie and Darby, holding them tightly in her arms, both young girls crying for their brother. Though her heart ached for Tommy, his family, and Zady, Christy couldn't stop the relief that was filling her heart, making her feel even guiltier about what had happened.  
  
Finally, after some time, Neil turned away from Tommy, letting Alice finish bandaging the boy's wound while he spoke with the family. "I've managed to clean out the wound and remove the bullet. It's still too soon to tell but so far Tommy's doing very well. I'll need to keep him here for a few days to keep an eye on him. Shannon I've already spoken with Alice and you and the girls are welcome to stay here as long as you need to."  
  
"Thank ya kindly, Doc. We'd be beholdin' ta all's ya," Shannon nodded to him.  
  
Nodding Neil crouched down low in front of Zady and took her hands in his large ones. "He's going to be all right Zady, you have to believe that."  
  
Never removing her eyes from Tommy the young girl nodded softly to let Neil know she had heard him. Sighing he turned to go back to Tommy's side but stopped short when he saw Christy sitting on the davenport. The look in her eyes made him stop for a moment but Christy blinked and looked away, breaking away from him before he could fully see what was swimming in her eyes.   
  
Busying herself with Marie and Darby Christy didn't stop moving, working, until well into the early morning dawn. She couldn't. Searching the mission for something else to do she found nothing, she'd already done everything she could. Unable, unwilling, to sit still she headed over to the schoolhouse, knowing she would find work over there. Sure enough there was plenty of work to be done, cleaning, organizing, scheduling, lesson planning. She worked until the morning sun was peaking through the trees surrounding her little school.  
  
Knowing she had to get back to the mission before anyone missed her Christy left the schoolhouse and headed to the mission. Thinking she was the only one up she headed towards the kitchen to begin breakfast. As the water was just beginning to boil she moved into the dining room to grab a bowl only to stop still in her tracks at the sight of Neil sitting at the table, watching her every move though the doorway. Like a deer surprised by a noise Christy stopped still at the sight of him, silent.  
  
"Morning," he said softly, his eyes never leaving her face, taking in the wide eyes and shocked face.  
  
"Good morning," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Grabbing the bowl from the table Christy turned on her heel and disappeared back into the kitchen. She couldn't face him, of all people, right now. And seeing the look on his face she knew that he knew it. He just didn't understand it.  
  
Getting up from his seat Neil stood in the doorway between the two rooms to watch her for a moment in silence. All the night before she'd kept busy, searching, scrounging really, for work to keep herself occupied. Every time they had been in the same room together she found some excuse to leave. If none was to be found she would stay but she could not meet his gaze.   
  
Something was wrong.  
  
Standing at the fire in the kitchen of the mission Christy knew Neil was standing behind her, silently watching her, she could feel his eyes on her back. Unable to meet his eyes she kept her back to him, working the bread dough until she could work it no more. Placing it in the oven she cleaned the flour from the tables until the wood shone from it's wet gloss. With nothing more to do Christy had no choice but to turn around and face him. Turning to face him she kept her eyes on the floor.  
  
"Look at me," he ordered softly.  
  
Hesitantly she raised her eyes to meet his and in those blue orbs he saw that which she had been hiding from him, the pain, the fear, the guilt. Neil understood why she had been keeping busy all night, through the night, and on into the morning. Now he only had to find out how it had begun. Not moving from his spot in the doorway Neil's gaze never wavered from hers; Christy caught up in the trance of his eyes he could see them begin to mist and tear.  
  
"Tell me."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
  
"It's noth..."  
  
"Don't say that," Neil cut her off firmly, his face dropping into a frown. "It is something, something that has gotten to you so deeply you can't even speak of it. You can't sleep; you refuse to stop working for fear that you'll be left alone with whatever it is that's bothering you. Now tell me," he demanded, his voice raising a few notches.  
  
Staring at him Christy felt herself shrinking back a little. She'd never seen him so demanding of her like he was being right now, ordering her to tell him, not allowing her to back down or take her time, talking when she was ready. Neil saw her shrinking away from him and stepped forward, his demeanor softening. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder he leaned his head down to meet hers.   
  
"I can't help you if you won't let me, Christy. Please... tell me what's bothering you so I won't have to see you in so much pain. Tell me," he whispered, holding her tightly. "Christy, please, tell me."  
  
Closing her eyes Christy leaned against him slightly, his love for her pouring out through his words, her heart crying out to unleash the heavy, painful burden it had been carrying, even if only for a short while. Unbidden a tear sprang loose from her eye. She wanted to tell him, she wanted to so much but it scared her, the feelings and thoughts that were running through her mind scared her more than anything else ever had.  
  
"I..." Taking a deep breath Christy looked up into Neil's eyes. In those blue eyes that were filled with love unending she found the courage to say the words. "I'm glad."  
  
"Glad for what?"  
  
"Not what," she whispered. "Who." Tear shimmered in her eyes but Christy refused to look away. "I'm glad that it was Tommy who was shot and not you!" she cried softly, the horror of her feelings finally out for him to know and abhor. Breaching the barrier, the wall she had placed around her emotions and thoughts, Christy couldn't stop them from rushing out. "I'm terrified that I could have lost you, I'm horrified that I'm glad it wasn't you. It's horrible to think such things when Tommy is lying in that bed upstairs, a bullet hole in his back because of me!"  
  
Wrapping his arms around her Neil crushed her to him, holding her tightly, the pressure as intense as the love that ran through his heart. A part of him wanted to laugh with joy that he had finally discovered what was bothering her while another part wanted to cry at the guilt she had forced upon herself. He knew that her heart was unable to accept the fact that it was only natural to feel such things in the aftermath of such a tragic event. Such a caring, loving, unselfish heart as hers could never feel any other way.  
  
"Lass," he began to comfort.  
  
"No!" she cried, pushing him away. "It's wrong Neil! He could have died! Tommy could have died. Zady could have lost the one man she loved with all her heart and all I can feel is happiness! Gladness that it wasn't you! What kind of person does that make me? What kind of person is happy that an innocent young man almost died!"  
  
Near hysterics Christy knew she would wake the mission house and, unable to face them, fled though the back door. Chasing after her Neil was amazed at how swiftly she maneuvered through the yard, disappearing into the forest and continuing to run until she stopped suddenly as though she had hit a brick wall. Looking around Neil realized that she had run to the cave, the spot where Margaret had nearly taken her life not so very long ago. Falling to her knees Christy could no longer bear up under the weight of her pain and began to weep.  
  
Kneeling beside her Neil somehow knew that he shouldn't touch her. Like that time in the cave she wasn't ready for it. Not yet. After some time, her energy spent, her tears still flowing, Christy fell against him and he wrapped his arms around her softly, holding her with all the love he held in his heart.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" she whispered at last. "How can I be so cold hearted?"  
  
"Don't ever say that," he whispered to her. "How can you call yourself cold hearted when you are kneeling in the forest, crying over a guilt you shouldn't have to deal with? Feeling glad over the fact that I came out of it alive and unharmed is only natural, Lass. I know that you feel for Tommy because I have seen you caring for Marie and Darby, making sure that they are taken care of so that Tommy and Shannon don't have to worry about them. I know you wish you cold make it all better but this was out of your control. Flogging yourself over something you had nothing to do with isn't going to make it better. And it's not fair to you. Or me for that matter."  
  
"You?"  
  
"Seeing you beating yourself up over this is killing me, Christy. I can't stand to see you in any way but happy, smiling and laughing. If your not then I have to do something to change that. If your not happy, then I can't be."  
  
"I'm sorry, Neil," she cried, her tears beginning anew. "I'm so sorry!"  
  
"It's all right, Lass, everything will be all right, you'll see."  
  
Holding her in his arms Neil closed his eyes and leaned his head down to hers. He hadn't been lying when he'd told her it hurt him to see her like that. When he had looked into her eyes and seen that she had closed herself off to him Neil had thought he would go insane. His heart had physically hurt at the thought of not knowing what was running through her mind. Never again would he let her do that to him. Never.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Eighteen  
  
  
Sitting beside the bed, where he lay sleeping, Zady held Tommy's hand in hers, her soft gentle fingers rubbing the rough skin of his work worn hands. She was alone in the room with him, everyone else already gone. With a heavy heart she recalled the words she had spoken to her father. She did love him, with all her heart; he was her father after all, her Pa. But on this point she would not bend.  
  
'It be time ta go, Zady. Ya best come with us,' he'd told her, pulling on her arm as she had stood in the doorway, her eyes locked onto Tommy's sleeping face.  
  
But Zady had refused. She would not leave Tommy's side until he was awake, until his brown eyes opened and met hers. Jeb had pulled on her arm a little harder but again she refused to go. Stepping a few feet away from him Zady turned around to face her Pa, Ma standing right beside him.   
  
'I ain't goin' with ya Pa. I loves Tommy an I know you don't like it but it ain't gonna change jest 'cause ya said we cain't git married. He coulda died out thar t'day an' I know he dun it ta save my life.' Meeting Jeb's eyes Zady held her head high, her eyes filled with a conviction Jeb had never seen before. 'I ain't leavin'im.'  
  
Fairlight had pulled Jeb out of the room after that, making him leave before he could utter a word that was burning his tongue. How dare his daughter speak to him like that? Zady could hear them arguing in the hallway, her ma telling Jeb that he best leave her alone, and they had left shortly after that. Zady didn't know what would happen to her when she got home. She'd disobeyed her Pa, directly and without a single bit of remorse. And she'd do it again in a heartbeat.  
  
Pulling herself from he memories with a shake she focused her prayers on helping Tommy to get better, to wake up so she could know, for sure, that he would be all right. Doc wouldn't lie about something like that but Zady had to see it for herself. Tommy had put himself between her and the man who had pulled the trigger. He'd saved her life by risking his. Zady could feel the tears beginning to well in her eyes again and she blinked them away. Right now she had to be strong, for the both of them.  
  
Before her eyes Tommy's brow furrowed in what, as she had learned through experience, was the only sign that he was in pain. Tightening her hold on his hand she moved forward, towards him, and watched as he began to blink his eyes. His brown eyes opened to see Zady staring down at him, her own large brown eyes even larger as she worried over him. "Hi," she whispered.  
  
"Zady," his voice was thick with sleep and pain. "Wha'happ'n'd?"  
  
"Ya got shot..." she began but even as the first word left her throat began to close off, the pain and horror of everything that had happened beginning to creep past her barrier. Zady's eyes filled with the tears she had held back since that awful moment.  
  
Seeing her tears Tommy removed his hand from hers and reached up, catching the first tear as it fell from her eye. "Don't cry, Zady, I'll be fine," he told her. "You'll see."  
  
"I cain't help'it," she cried. "Ya could'a died!"  
  
"But I didn't, Zady, an' I ain't aimin' ta."  
  
"Tommy..." she paused. Looking down Zady pulled the courage up from the depths of her heart to say he words she longed to say. "I love you."  
  
Staring up at her Tommy as silent for a moment. He knew as well as she did that he would never cross her father's decision. But they both also knew that they couldn't stop what their hearts were feeling. Reaching up he placed a gentle hand to her wet cheek; thumb rubbing away the tears that he could reach.  
  
"I love you too, Zady Spencer."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter Nineteen  
  
  
With Miss Alice sleeping upstairs, a headache bothering her too much to stay with them, they were sitting in the parlor of the mission house when the knock sounded out on the door. Though it had only been a few days since he'd been shot Tommy was recovering nicely, his youth and strength aiding him with a speedy recovering. He'd be sore for quite some time, but the young man was out of the danger zone. When the knock rang out on the door all heads, his included, turned to look toward the sound. Glancing at each other briefly Neil stood to answer the door while Tommy stood and moved closer to the fireplace.  
  
Both men had been told of what was going on in the cove while they were sitting in the mission parlor tonight. They had opted to stay behind while the other men combed the cove, protection for the women who were in danger. Neither Christy nor Zady had been informed of what was happening so neither woman knew the seriousness of the situation. Both Neil and Tommy planned on keeping it that way until the danger had passed. Opening the door just enough to slip out Neil met with Bob Allen on the porch.  
  
"How's it going, Bob?" he asked in hushed tones.  
  
"Not good. There been no sign of 'em anywhars."  
  
Muttering an oath under his breath Neil ran a frustrated hand through his red curls. "Than why are you here Bob?"  
  
"I dun stopped by the Spencer's ta git Jeb an John but they cain't leave. Leastu'un be real bad off. I come ta git'ya."  
  
"All right," he relented. "Let me get my saddle bags and we'll be off." Striding back into the mission house he made quick work of gathering his things. Seeing the worry in Christy's eyes at his sudden change in attitude he stopped to explain. "Least'un is sick, I have to go to the Spencer's right away."  
  
Gasping Zady put her hand to her face even as Tommy's arm tightened around her shoulders. "I'm a comin' with ya Doc." Standing she moved towards Neil with a determined look. But in the corner of he eyes Neil could see the fear for her kin that was eating away at her.  
  
"All right, girl, let's go."  
  
Getting up Tommy started to follow but stopped when he realized that there would be no one let with Christy, no one there to protect her. Unsure of why he wasn't continuing on Christy put a soft hand and urged Tommy to go only to see, from the corner of her eye, Neil shake his head. Seeing the look pass between the men she knew that something wasn't right.   
  
"What's going on, Neil? What aren't you telling me?" Moving closer to the Scot she tilted her head back to meet his eyes. In those blue orbs she saw him scrambling for some excuse to tell her. "No lies, Neil. Not between us."  
  
Sighing, "The O'Malley's escaped earlier this afternoon. The men have been scouring the cove but so far they can't find any of them. They could be anywhere."  
  
Realizing that the two men had been sticking close by so as to protect them Christy smiled. "And they could very well be long gone." Taking his hand in hers she brought it to her lips, kissing it gently. "Miss Alice is here, Neil, I'm not alone. You need to go help Least'un and Tommy needs to be there for Zady. I'll be fine, now go."  
  
Looking down at her, knowing she was right even as he fought to find some excuse to make the young man stay behind, Neil closed his eyes and nodded. "Lock all the doors Lass, and keep out of sight."  
  
"I will, I promise. Now go, Least'un needs you." Kissing her forehead, gently squeezing her to him for a moment, Neil left before he could change his mind.  
  
They'd been gone less than an hour when she heard the heavy footsteps of a man climbing the stairs of the mission house. Just above it she heard the click of a rifle barrel being locked into place.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter Twenty  
  
  
They arrived at the Spencer cabin in no time at all, having hurried the entire way. Rushing inside Neil set to work, examining the little boy even as Zady came face to face with her parents for the first time since she had openly defied Jeb. While Jeb remained distanced from them, never moving from his place by the fire, Fairlight hugged her daughter close before smiling at Tommy. Standing next to the doorway, Zady stared at her youngest kin as Neil worked to find out what was wrong. Fearful that whatever was wrong might prove to be fatal her hands and arms began to tremble. Putting his arm around her Tommy held onto her tightly, his strength a comfort to her, helping her to get past her fears and begin praying that it would be all right.  
  
Over by the fire, seeing the two young couple together, Jeb was finally able to see what Fairlight had been trying to tell him all along. They were in love. With his minds eye he remembered the scene from the mission yard, the fear that had pulsed through his veins when the man had grabbed his little girl. Before he had been able to move Tommy had moved first, placing his hand on the mans neck, pinching it and forcing him to release Zady. Only moments later the boy had been lying on the ground, his blood soaking the grass.  
  
Coming out of his reverie, lifting his eyes once more to look at the young couple, Jeb realized he'd made a mistake. Tommy was a peaceful man; he'd proven it time and again by refusing to fight no matter how bad he was tormented. But now, after the events of only a few days ago, he knew how far Tommy would go to protect Zady. He'd proven that as well.  
  
"He'll be fine." All eyes turned to Neil who had stood from the bed. "My guess is that he ate too much of Fairlight's apple cobbler. He's got a stomachache, nothing more. Keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't move around too much and he'll be fine."  
  
"I been wonderin' whar it'd gone ta," Fairlight frowned. "You should'a known better, young'un," she scolded.  
  
Rubbing the child's head, tousling his hair, Neil stood and gathered his supplies. "We need to get back," he declared. "I'll come and check on him again in the morning. Until then do as I've told you and he'll be fine."  
  
Instructions given, supplies gathered, Neil moved to the door only to stop in his tracks and began to back up. Stepping up into the cabin Jerry O'Malley pointed his rifle at Neil's chest. "Don't nobody move, or I'll shoot ya," he ordered.   
  
Scared the little children huddled together. Tommy pulled Zady even tighter to him as Jeb did the same to Fairlight. Meeting the mans gaze Neil's face hardened. This wasn't the one that had gone after Christy, so where was he? "What do you want O'Malley?"  
  
"Nothin' you can give me. I'm 'ere fer th'girl." Waving the gun towards Zady he motioned for her to step forward. "Git over 'ere gal, my brother wants ta see ya after he's dun with th'other one."  
  
"She's not going anywhere."  
  
Jerry shifted his gaze to he young man that had spoken. Moving closer to Tommy Jerry stared at him for a moment before suddenly raising his rifle and butting it into Tommy's middle. Doubling over in pain his guard dropped and Jerry ripped Zady from his grasp. Pulling her to the door Jerry was already halfway across the yard, dragging Zady with him, before Tommy could recover. Fighting him with everything she had Zady kicked and clawed at him, trying desperately to get away. Getting madder by the moment Jerry lost his patience, slapping Zady to the ground in the process, continuing to hit her as she lay sprawled on the ground.  
  
Recovered from the earlier blow Tommy ran from the cabin, tackling Jerry to the ground and pulling him away from Zady. "No one hurts Zady!" he scowled before knocking Jerry to the ground, the man out cold the moment his head hit the ground. Pulling Zady to him Tommy examined her, making sure, proof to his own eyes, that she was all right. Clinging to him Zady's tears fell, the paralyzing terror of his attack beginning to fall away leaving only a residual fear as she was wrapped in his arms.  
  
Watching them for a moment Neil thought over the last words the O'Malley brother had spoken. '...my brother wants ta see ya after he's dun with th'other one...'  
  
"Christy!" he breathed, realizing where Jack, the oldest of the O'Malley brother was heading, if not there already.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Twenty One  
  
  
Frozen in her place Christy listened to the steps on the mission stairs, her heart pounding in fear. With a shake she pulled herself together and hurried to the widow, silently peeking out to try and see who it was. As the man passed through a patch of moonlight she was able to see his face and could barely contain the scream that rose in her throat. As he began to pound on the door, attempting to break it down, Neil's words rang in her ears.  
  
'... and keep out of sight.'  
  
She had to hide. With every cell in her body Christy knew she had to hide. Quickly. Running out of the main room she wracked her brain for a place to hide, somewhere that he would not find her. No sooner had she thought of one than another thought entered her mind. Miss Alice. The Quaker lay, sleeping, unaware of the trouble brewing below her. Racing through the mission, still listening to the pounding on the door, Christy climbed the stairs, key in hand, locking the door to Miss Alice's room so as to prevent Jack from entering, praying he would ignore the door once he found it to be locked.  
  
No sooner had she squeezed herself into her hiding spot than she heard the sound of glass shattering, the tinkling that rang out as it fell to the ground, crunching as his boots stepped over it. Closing her eyes she forced herself to slow her breathing and began to pray that he would leave both women alone.  
  
"I know yer 'ere, whore!" he yelled. "Come out 'ere an face me!"  
  
A small whimper escaping in her fear Christy clamped a hand over her mouth lest another one escape as well. Eyes clenched shut she cold hear Jack stomping around the mission house, yelling at her to show herself to him, to pay for her crimes. Heart hammering in her chest Christy heard the tell-tale noise of Miss Alice, over head, trying to open her door and cringed when she heard Jack going up the stairs. There was a loud crash, the sound of wood splintering and then, moments later he was back downstairs, calling out to her, yelling that he didn't want the old woman but if she didn't come out he would kill her instead. She was about to emerge from her hiding place, fear for Miss Alice outweighing the fear for herself, when more feet pounded up the stairs, rushing into the mission house.  
  
"Get out of here!" Neil roared, grabbing Jack by his coat lapel and dragging him out of the mission into the waiting hands of the men gathered outside. "What have you done with Christy?" he demanded. "Where is she?"  
  
"He never found her, Neil," Alice called as she stepped onto the porch; a robe wrapped around her shoulders, enclosed tightly in her hands. "She must be hiding somewhere."  
  
Leaving Jack with the men of the cove Neil ran back inside searching the mission for the woman he loved, all the while yelling out to her. "Christy! Lass, answer me!" Having the searched the entire mission, top to bottom he stood before the fireplace, his face filled with desperation. "Where are you!" he yelled.  
  
From within her hiding place Christy heard him yelling to her, calling out for her to come out, that everything was all right. Tears falling down her cheeks she pushed on the door but it would not budge. With all her might she pushed again but still it would not budge. Unable to get out of her hiding place she cried out to Neil, yelling, hoping and praying he would hear her.  
  
Standing in the middle of the mission house Neil took a breath to yell again when he heard it. As though it was coming from someplace far away, her muffled voice barely audible, he heard Christy calling his name. Waiting he heard it again, moving towards it until he found himself standing in the kitchen. "Christy?"  
  
His voice was louder, closer, and Christy pounded on the door to the little cabinet under the counter of the mission's kitchen to get his attention. Hearing the noise Neil bent down and tried to open the cupboard but found them stuck. Pulling on it harder, after a few tries, it finally opened and the light fell on Christy's teary face. His heart clenched and soared at the same time. She had been in danger but now she was safe again. Reaching in Neil pulled her out of the cupboards and into his arms, holding her, clenching her, tightly to him, whispering to her over and over that it was all right.   
  
Whether his assurances were for her or for him, neither one knew and neither one cared. She had him and he had her... and that was all that mattered.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
  
Stay tuned for Chapter Three of the Life Trilogy.  
  
"Histories Tale" 


	3. History's Tale

Title: History's Tale  
  
Author: Lady S  
  
Disclaimer: Catherine Marshall's beautiful story of Christy is owned by the Marshall-LeSourd Family, L.L.C. We are in no way seeking profit or credit for her story. We are continuing the story of Christy for our own amusement only. Any additions in story line and characters were invented by the writers of the alt.tv.christy Round Robin and the Christy Mailing List. The content of each story is the responsibility of the individual writer. The fanfic here is being posted as a service to the Christy mailing list, Pax Christy Forum and Alt.tv.christy News Group.  
  
Author's Notes: This is the third and final chapter in the Life Trilogy. I hope you all enjoy it!  
  
  
History's Tale  
Lady S  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
"Get out of my room you little cretin!"  
  
Scowling at her little brother, the most infuriating of the bunch, Millie finished packing her duffel bag after shutting and locking the door to her bedroom. She was already running late and Peter's constant interruptions weren't making it any easier. Millie Jensen couldn't believe that the day had finally arrived. In two hours she would be sitting on a plane headed to her new home. She'd barely been able to sleep the night before, going over and over in her mind everything she needed to remember to bring, the people she needed to say goodbye to, addresses she needed to make sure she had.  
  
"Come on Millie! The taxi's waiting," Debra called up the stairs.  
  
"All right Mom, I'm coming!"  
  
Zipping up her duffel bag she stood in her room looking around for a moment. It would be at least a year before she would see it again and Millie wanted to remember everything about it. "Dear God," she whispered. "Please guide me through this. I can't do it on my own."  
  
Taking a deep breath she swung the bag onto her shoulder, unlocked the door, and headed down the hallway, down the stairs to see her family waiting to say goodbye. Too difficult for everyone to say goodbye at the airport they had opted to do so at the house. Only Grandma Catherine would be coming with Millie to the airport. Hugging her mother and father, kissing her squirming little brother, Millie stowed her bag in the trunk and climbed into the back of the taxi with her grandmother.  
  
The ride was silent, each one lost in her thoughts as they rode to the airport. It was only when they had reached the gate that the two women spoke to each other. "I'm very proud of you Millie. What you're doing is a good thing; you'll be helping a lot of people. There is something I want to give you. But you must promise me something first. Promise me that you will only open this if you ever find yourself wanting to come back home for good. If the time ever comes when you don't think that you are making a difference anymore I want you to read this book before you make a decision about your future."  
  
Handing her the small package Catherine made her point clear with her eyes. Nodding Millie took the package wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string. "I promise Grandma." Reaching out she hugged the older woman close. "Write me, okay?"  
  
Smiling, ignoring the prick in her eye, Catherine hugged her favorite granddaughter tightly. Seeing Millie off onto the plane she stayed until the plane had taken off, her thoughts drifting back to the tales from her childhood, the ones she had loved to hear every night as her mother or father would tuck her into bed. Millie would live such experiences herself. "Take care of her, my Lord. Watch over her and guide her through her trials as you guided my mother and those who came before her."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
On the plane, hours upon hours after she had left her grandmother in the airport, transfers and layovers later, Millie looked out the window to see lush green trees lining the ground as she listened to the stewardess make the announcement in both English and Spanish.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to Chile!"  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Two  
  
  
Gathering her bags, stretching her legs, Millie scanned the crowds, searching for the one that had her name in their hands. Spotting it she walked over and pointed to the small piece of board. "That's me," she smiled. "I'm Millie Jensen."  
  
Nodding the man took one of her bags and motioned for her to follow him out of the airport. Walking a few steps behind him, making her way through the crowd, she emerged into the parking lot to see him loading her bag into an old army jeep. Tossing the bag she carried next to the other one Millie climbed into the passenger seat and barely had time to buckle up before the car tore out of the parking lot. Racing along the roads, the wind too loud to allow conversation, Millie watched the scenery flying by until they pulled up to a ridge and stopped, dust still flying around them. Getting out of the driver's seat the man walked to the edge and stopped. Turning around he gave Millie a pointed look, motioning for her to join him.  
  
"Welcome to Chile," he said once she had moved to stand next to him. "From here you can just see the villages, there's five total. We'll reach the first one, Los Corentas, by nightfall. Tomorrow we'll visit each of the villages before taking you to the hospital in the center of them. The hospital is located in the center of the villages so it's about equidistant to all of them."  
  
Staring out over the ridge at the lush green forest Millie felt a smile growing on her face. "Then let's roll," she smiled. "But first, how about a name? You know mine, care to let me in on yours?"  
  
The man grinned and Millie could feel her heart drop to her knees. Sure, she had thought he was gorgeous but no more so than any of the men she'd met so far. Then he smiled. That one smile made any actor, from Harrison Ford to Brad Pitt, look like runners up for the ugliest man on earth.   
  
"The name is Paul. Paul Cravatta."  
  
"Okay, then," she smiled, making her way back to the jeep. "Let's roll." Standing up in the jeep, her head sticking up above the windshield, Millie stared down at Paul. "You comin' or what?"  
  
Laughing he climbed back into the jeep and they took off, racing along deserted roads for hours on end until, just as the first stars were beginning to show, they pulled into the edge of a small village. "We have to keep the car outside the village, they won't let any automobiles inside."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"Superstition. They think that anything electronic will bring bad tidings to the entire village. So if you got a cell or a laptop, you better not bring it in with you. Leave it here in the car, no one will steal it I promise."  
  
With a small bit of hesitation Millie left one of her bags in the jeep, taking the smaller one with her before following Paul into the village. Walking through the village, listening to the people greet Paul with warmth and friendliness, Millie hoped that soon she too would be as welcomed here as he was. Almost to the middle of the village they stopped outside of a small hut made out of tree bark and wild grasses.  
  
"You'll sleep here tonight Millie Jensen," he said, pulling back the braided ropes that formed the door. "Tomorrow we'll make it to the hospital."  
  
"Thanks, Paul," she smiled. "I really appreciate this."  
  
"No problem. Have a good night."  
  
Slipping into the small hut Millie put her bag in the corner and sat down on the straw mat off to the one side. It had really begun. She was here, in a small quintet of villages of the mid-Chile region, and come tomorrow she would arrive at her home for the next year. Closing her eyes Millie fought back her urge to laugh, scream, and cry all at once.  
  
"Thank you God," she whispered. "Thank you."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
"The operating rooms are down the eastern hallway while the recovery rooms are toward the south. The doctor makes the trip from the city only three times a week so we try to schedule those days as fully as possible. On the other four days it's up to us to treat whoever comes in. It's not exactly procedural but it's the best we can do for now. In about three months we'll get our doctor full time but for now we'll have to make due."  
  
Note pad in hand, pen flying over the paper, Millie took notes on everything the RPN, Lisha Kilmartin, told her, marking the rooms and hallways on a small map she had scribbled.  
  
"The nurses station is here near the entrance and the only telephone we have is here at the desk. If you need to call home you can but try to keep the line clear in case we get a call from the doctor or the hospital in the city. Have you brought a laptop or cell phone?"  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"All right but keep them out of the villages, the people here are very superstitious about them. If you want to stay on their good side you'll make sure you keep anything electric out of the villages. These people are superstitious to a fault, it's unreal sometimes. Getting them to do what's needed and what's best for their health is a fight, practically a war. But you have to stand strong and not back down."  
  
"Got it. Paul mentioned the electronics thing earlier."  
  
"Paul? You've met Paul?"  
  
"Well yes, he was the one who met me at the airport."  
  
"Hmm..."  
  
Watching the older woman fall silent Millie wondered what she had said to cause it. Opening her mouth to ask they were interrupted as a small boy ran into the hospital. Babbling rapidly to them in Spanish he began tugging on their hands, urging them to come. Calling upon her best language skills Millie, a young woman who spoke three languages fluently, found it difficult to keep up with him as he scrambled his words together in his haste. Following him out of the hospital, throwing herself into the Jeep with Lisha, Millie held on tightly as they flew down the road until they had reached the third of the five villages.  
  
Once they were inside the hut she saw what the little boy had been trying to tell them. A young girl, no older than six or seven, was lying on a bedroll, shivering, shaking, sweating; she was sick. Dropping to her knees Millie worked side by side with Lisha, one woman taking the girls temperature while the other felt for her pulse.   
  
"103.2," Lisha announced.  
  
"Pulse is high, racing." Ignoring the frantic chattering of the parents behind her, the mother wringing her hands in worry, Millie bent her head closer to the little girl. Opening the girl's mouth Millie saw the white spots in the back of her throat and cringed. "Looks like strep, pretty advanced I'd bet."  
  
Peering into her throat Lisha frowned. "You're right. We need to get her to the hospital."  
  
"You calm down the parents, I'll get the girl."  
  
Nodding Lisha stood to speak to the parents, telling them exactly what was wrong with their daughter and what they would do to help her. Half listening to her as she explained what would happen, what they would be able to do to help their daughter, Millie gathered the little girl into her arms and stood from her crouched position. Emerging from the hut Millie strode as quickly as she could to the car only to find herself blocked by a small crowd of people.   
  
"Let me pass," she called out in Spanish. No one moved. "Please, let me pass so we can help this girl!"  
  
Emerging from the hut Lisha yelled at them to move but no one budged an inch.  
  
"Why won't they move?" Millie asked of the woman who had moved to stand behind her. "Please!" she cried. "Let us help her!"  
  
"They won't listen to you if it means taking her out of the village."  
  
Turning on her heel Millie saw Paul approaching them through the crowd that had gathered behind her. "Why?"  
  
"Same reason they won't let electronics in. Superstitions."  
  
"You've got to be kidding me!"  
  
"'Fraid not. If you take her out they won't let her back in. Take her away from her family and you'll make her an orphan for life."  
  
Millie felt a sense of disbelief and hopelessness creeping in. "You can't be serious."  
  
"Completely."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter Four  
  
  
Muttering in a language that Paul didn't recognize Millie scowled. Watching her he could practically see the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out how to solve this problem.  
  
"We don't have time for this!" Lisha declared. Moving ahead she pushed past the crowd, making room for Millie to get through but she stayed still. "What are you waiting for Millie, let's go. The sooner we get this girl to the hospital the sooner we can get her well."  
  
Looking down at the little girl shivering in her arms Millie thought over what Paul had said about her parents and the village. The look in his eyes as he had spoken told her that he wasn't fooling around. "Why can't we leave her here?" she said, looking up to meet Lisha's eyes.  
  
"Are you crazy? We need to get her to the hospital where we can treat her properly!"  
  
"What are we going to do at the hospital that we can't do here? We'll give her medication, make her sleep, plenty of fluids, and wait. We can do that here."  
  
"You are crazy," she frowned, reaching out to take the little girl from her arms. "Hospital!"  
  
"Lisha!" Moving back a step Millie spoke her mind. "If we take her out of here they won't let her back in. What do we do when she's healed? What then? Do we just send her on her way to fend for herself or can we take care of her at the hospital, because those will be our only two options."  
  
Drawing herself up straight and tall Lisha stared at Millie with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "You have just gotten here, girl, what in your little mind makes you think that you know better than I do?"  
  
"The fact that I have just gotten here, Lisha!" Millie retorted. "You've been here for three years, you've become so used to these people and how they act and how they are that you don't see them as anything but an obstacle! I just got here, I've never met these people but I can see the fact that they care about this little girl. Take a look at their faces; you can see the worry and the pain for her in their eyes. If we can help her and at the same time respect their wishes and beliefs then why not?"  
  
"All right then Miss I've-Got-All-The-Answers, what do you suggest we do?"  
  
"Is there an empty hut, somewhere near the edge of the village, away from everyone, where we could treat her?" Millie asked, changing from English to Spanish so the people would understand her.  
  
Realizing that this new woman wasn't going to try and take the little girl out of the village the people suddenly became cooperative with her, moving aside to show her to the medical hut, a barren hut on the edge of the village, isolated from the others. Following the crowd, leaving them behind as she entered the hut, Millie laid the girl out on a mat in the middle of the hut. Taking off her outer shirt she laid it over the young girl, tucking it in around her shoulders. Reaching into the backpack that had been tossed into the corner she pulled out a small vial of medicine and, dosing out the correct amount, injected the little girl.  
  
Sitting back on her heels she stared at the little girl, the medication lulling her into s dreamless sleep, and prayed that she had done the right thing.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Five  
  
  
Dropping into the nearest chair Millie groaned as she rubbed a hand over her tired face. After working on scrubbing the hospital floors all day she was beat. All week she and Lisha had been working to get the hospital ready for the founder's visit in two days.  
  
Sitting back in her chair Millie thought about the older woman she was working side by side with. They'd had a rocky start. The RPN had considered her snippy, know-it-all, and rude ever since she'd spoken out so brazenly about little Mara. But, after eating a large helping of crow pie, Millie managed to get back on her good side again.   
  
Life in Chile was going well for Millie, she was enjoying her time here, and the scenery was stunningly beautiful. She'd sent rolls of film home to her family so they could see her home here and they agreed... it was beautiful.  
  
Of course she'd censored her pictures so they only saw the beauty. Millie didn't want them to see the horrors she dealt with on a daily basis. The poor living conditions, the huts that don't protect the people from anything, it was too much for her sometimes when she thought about the life she'd led at home. But when the sadness of it all would strike her she would go out and watch the little children as they ran around the village, their laughter rising in the air, filling it with a beautiful scent.  
  
Rising from her chair she glanced out the window and saw that the moon, high in the sky, was filling the land with it's pale light. Just enough light to bathe by. With a grin she grabbed her towel and soap, slipped out of her room on the second floor of the hospital, down the stairs, and through the woods toward the river. Stripping off her outer clothes, leaving her underwear on- a lesson Lisha had enforced strict adherence to- she waded into the water.   
  
Washing up quickly she stood staring at the shore, debating on whether she should head in or go for a short swim. While she knew she should get some sleep, a swim sounded too enticing to pass up. Pushing off with her feet Millie sliced through the water with powerful strokes. While she swan her mind was a jumble.   
  
Her year here would be over in two months. Millie could scarcely believe that it had been ten months already; time had flown by faster than she had ever thought possible. At the end of her year Millie knew she had to make a decision. Did she stay on for another year or return home to her family in the states?   
  
As much as she did love being here, loved working with the hospital and helping the people, she missed her family, her friends. How could she decide between the two things she loved most? Was it possible to make a decision of such magnitude in the two months she had left?  
  
Suddenly Millie was pulled under the water, her head a good foot under the rivers surface. Automatically her survival training kicked into gear and she went limp, playing dead, hoping and praying the animal would leave her as dead. Her heart hammering in her chest Millie felt the animal release its hold on her leg. Knowing that she needed to play dead as long as she could Millie didn't move, floating in a dead man's float on the surface of the river, her body being pulled along by the current. Finally, when she was sure her lungs would burst, she raised her head, gulping in the humid night air and it was then that her ears picked up on the other sound.  
  
Laughter.  
  
Frowning she turned around to see her suspicion confirmed.  
  
"Jerk!" she cried, splashing him with a burst of water.  
  
Un-phased by the water shower Paul kept laughing until she was treading right in front of him. Treading water against the current he grinned down at her. They'd fast become friends after that one instance so long ago. Seeing her stand up to Lisha had confirmed that she was there to help the people, not just for an adventure to tell her grandchildren. Since then he'd done what he could to help her. Including some basic survival skills.  
  
"You did good. Playing dead, I mean," he grinned.  
  
Growling under her breath Millie began to swim back towards her clothes and towel a good ways away on the riverbank. Still chuckling to himself Paul followed her, swimming side by side until they reached her pile of clothes. She was so much fun to tease. He could read Millie like a book; her face was as open as one to him. She could never hide how she really felt, no matter how she tried. And it hadn't taken him long to realize it. When she was sad she bit her upper lip; angry, she muttered in another language; happy, then she smiled. There was no stopping the brightness of her smile when she was happy.  
  
"One of these day's I'm going to get you back, you do realize that right?" she threatened, sitting on a fallen tree to dry off.  
  
Rolling his eyes Paul joined her. "You've been saying that since the first time I did that. You'll never do it and you know it as well as I do."  
  
Scowling at him she pulled her shorts on and stood, gathering her shirt and heading back towards the hospital as she pulled it on, towel wrapped around her head like a turban. Paul could get under her skin faster than anyone she'd ever known. But he was closer to her than anyone else as well. They'd become friends quickly after coming here and she had to laugh when she thought back to her first impression of him, back at the airport.  
  
As the local teacher he traveled between the villages teaching the children, giving them the most basic of an education, the information they would need to know to get along here in their little corner of the world. And he'd taught her as well. Customs of the people so that she didn't offend anyone by mistake, survival skills for the jungle she traveled through every day, things she would need to know to live here.  
  
Approaching the entrance to the hospital, listening to Paul telling her about one of the pranks some of the children had played on one of the others, Millie carefully wiped her feet on the grass to make sure they were clean and dry. She'd spent all day scrubbing the stupid floors; she didn't want to have to do it all over again.  
  
"Don't mess up my floors, Paul, I just finished them today and I want them to stay clean," she warned him.  
  
"This floor?" he teased, holding his filthy foot just over her clean floor.  
  
""Yes that floor, and you know it." Seeing the gleam in his eye she pointed at him. "I mean it! I spent all day scrubbing these floors, you mess them up and you'll regret it."  
  
Challenging her he lowered his foot a little close. "What are you gonna do about it?"   
  
She was so much fun to tease, had been for as long as he knew her. Paul knew she could take a joke and loved to push her buttons at times. She never took any flack from him and she could dish it out as well as she got it. But as the words left his mouth he could see that she was too tired to take it right now and decided to stop. He'd tease her another time, when she was in a better mood and not as tired as she was now.   
  
Before Paul could move his foot he lost his balance and stumbled a few feet into the hospital, his filthy feet making tracks on the spotless floor.   
  
Grimacing at the dirt he raised his eyes to meet hers and apologize but the words never made it past his throat. Meeting her eyes Paul was shocked to see the hurt in them, and in the one corner he could make out the first shimmer of a tear. Without a word Millie turned and walked away, disappearing before he could call out to her. Muttering under his breath, cursing himself for pushing her too far, Paul ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he saw her disappear around the corner.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Waking from her sleep Millie rolled over and looked out the window at the beginning of the sunrise. The founder's were coming today; she and Lisha had to finish cleaning. Thankfully she had done the floors yesterday so the only thing left was the...  
  
Suddenly she remembered.  
  
Paul and his filthy feet.  
  
Frowning she still couldn't believe he'd done that. She'd been serious about wanting to keep them clean and he purposefully messed them up. Too shocked to make a sound she'd turned and left, angry at herself for getting emotional about it. They were only floors for crying out loud. But it had still hurt that he'd done it on purpose, smiling the whole time.  
  
Sighing, forcing herself to get up out of her bed, Millie donned her work clothes and headed downstairs. Passing the supply closet she grabbed the scrub brush and pail, wanting to get it clean again before Lisha woke and saw the mess. Entering the hallway she stopped and stared at the small sight before her.  
  
A small bunch of wild flowers sat atop and equally small piece of paper, all of which sat atop a spotless floor. Picking up the flowers she opened the folded piece of paper and read it.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Six  
  
"You ready yet?"  
  
"No."  
  
Lisha smiled. Sitting on the bed, watching Millie tear through her closet in search of something to wear, she checked her watch again. Millie had been searching for something appropriate to wear to the dinner tonight with the visiting founders.  
  
"Give it up girl; put on your tan pants and your white tank, you'll be fine."  
  
Frowning she pulled the two items from the closet and stared at them. With a shrug of defeat she pulled them on and grabbed her sandals. As the two women walked down the hallway towards the dining room Millie couldn't believe the two weeks were already up. For two weeks the hospital had been abuzz with the visiting founders and their guests. Tonight was the farewell dinner, to say goodbye to the guests as they left in the morning. The founders, Mike and Patty Hill, were staying on an extra day but they too would be leaving.  
  
Mike had brought her a contract to sign if she wanted to stay on the extra year and Millie had to answer him before he left with her decision to stay on or to leave. All week she had been thinking about it, coming to the same conclusion time and time again. She loved it here, Millie had no desire to leave and yet at the same time she wondered if this was what her life was to be. Living here in the heart of Chile, seeing each day the hardships of the people who lived here, was a difficult life to lead.  
  
Could she make a life for herself here?  
  
One year was only barely scratching the surface of the life she would be choosing if she did choose to stay. Still, though she had been thinking about it for a while now, Millie had yet to find the answer she needed.  
  
Entering the dining room Millie and Lisha sat with the others and the meal began. Trying to forget, for a few hours, the decision she needed to make, Millie listened to the conversation as it flowed through the room. Looking around at the people sitting at the table she saw happy smiling people who had no idea the harsh reality of life in the five villages. They smiled and laughed while others were working all day just to find a way to survive for another one.   
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when a door crashed open out in the hallway. Rising from her chair Millie slipped out into the hallway, Lisha not far behind, to see Mara running down the hallway. Tears streaming from her eyes the little girl pulled on Millie's hands pulling her down the hallway back towards the doors babbling so fast no one could understand her.  
  
"Mara, Mara slow down, honey, I can't understand you," Millie said, kneeling before the frightened little girl. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Momma's sick," she replied. "They're all sick, you gotta come!"  
  
Immediately they sprang into action. Grabbing their supply bags from the emergency room both women ran for the jeep sitting outside the hospital, a few of the others falling in step behind them. Racing down the road to the village Millie never let her foot leave the gas pedal. Pulling to a stop just outside the village they ran to Kailua, Mara's mother, and found her lying in her hut, shaking like a leaf in a storm. After a brief examination Lisha looked up, her eyes filled with worry and concern.  
  
"It's Scarlet Fever."  
  
Despair began to bubble up in Millie's heart. "I'll check the village, see if anyone else is showing signs of it."  
  
Nodding Lisha turned back to Kailua and Millie left the hut. A small crowd had gathered in front of the hut, friends and family worried over the woman's health. One by one she briefly examined the people and found that five others were showing the first symptoms while two people were already nearing Kailua's state. Working quickly Millie moved the sick people away from the others, setting up some additional medical huts, and getting them some medicine, hoping and praying it would help them, unsure of exactly how advanced their condition really was.  
  
Emerging from one of the now four medical huts Millie saw Patty standing in the yard with the children, trying to keep them occupied. "I need you to go back to the hospital and ring Dr Lesion in the city. Tell him he's needed out here at once."  
  
"I will," patty nodded, standing and taking the keys from Millie. "Mike was called away to Los Cijioro, they have some sick people there. He'll need help."  
  
"All right, I'll go. For now go to the hospital and stay there in case anyone comes there for help."  
  
Nodding once more Patty turned and left, starting the jeep and driving off to call for the doctor. Millie stepped into the first hut and found Lisha still bent over Kailua. Before her eyes she saw the RPN lay a hand over the woman's eyes and close them. Millie's heart sank another notch as Lisha pulled the thing blanket over Kailua's head and stood.  
  
"We were too late," she said with a choked voice when she saw Millie standing there.  
  
Closing her eyes for a moment Millie swore she wouldn't let this happen to anymore of the people.   
  
"There are seven others. Two are near critical and five are still in the early stages," she announced, forcing her mind onto the problems at hand and off her own pain. "Mike went over to Cijioro, there's sickness there as well. I'll go help him there after I' check on the other three villages. Hopefully we can keep it from spreading."  
  
Agreeing Lisha handed her the pack and turned to look at the other people still alive, still in need of medical attention. Heading out Millie began walking the trails as fast as she could, to dangerous to run lest she break her ankle and become useless to anyone. Though it only took a half hour to get to the next village, Las Sajiros, her mind was active the whole way, thinking back over the people who had come to mean so much to her. She refused to lose any more to death if there was something she could do about it.  
  
Nearing the third village she repeated the same message she had at Las Sajiros, staying at a distance in case she was now carrying the disease.  
  
"Have you any sick?"  
  
The chief shook his head no.  
  
"If anyone does become sick keep them at the edge of the village and let no one near them. Contact the hospital and do as they say. Do you understand?"  
  
This time the chief nodded and Millie bid them well health before heading out to the fifth village. Only after she had delivered the same message to them as well did she head over to the first village to find Mike and Paul working side by side, trying to save the four people who were sick. Sending Mike back to help Lisha Millie and Paul worked side by side for days on end to keep the people of Los Cijioro stay alive through this epidemic. Day after day, night after night they worked, never stopping to eat or sleep until their body refused to go on, and even then, only for a few moments.  
  
Finally, after almost two weeks, the villages seemed to be safe once more. At the hospital Lisha, Millie, Paul, Patty, and Mike all convened to discuss the outcome of the Scarlet Fever Epidemic. Sitting around the dining room table the five people were ragged with lack of sleep and nutrition.  
  
"We lost three people, thought there were seven people total who had caught the disease," Millie told them. "The damage could have been much, much worse."  
  
"Of the eleven that caught it where I was we lost seven. Thankfully we managed to keep it contained to two of the five villages. It was a good thing you warned them on your way to Los Cijioro Millie. It could have been a lot worse if it had spread to all of the villages."  
  
Shaking her head in sadness that so many had died Millie put her head into her hands. "Who did we lose?"  
  
"Kailua was the first one to go, after her we lost the three of the Sanguara's children. Two of the old sisters, Pilata and Marie, too," Lisha recalled, forcing herself to keep her emotions at bay.   
  
There was one more but she was reluctant to mention the name, knowing it would be near devastating for Millie to hear. However, knowing the young woman needed to know, she continued.   
  
"We also lost Mara a few days ago."  
  
Millie's heart stopped. "Mara?" she whispered, raising her eyes to meet Lisha's, praying she'd heard wrong.  
  
Lisha nodded.   
  
Sitting in her chair, arms propped on the table, exhausted, Millie lost her last shred of control. Tears streaming from her eyes she fled the dining room, out of the hospital, walking blindly through the jungle until she found herself by the river. Sitting on the fallen tree Millie bent over in two, sobs wracking her body in pain of the loss. Little Mara, the first of the children to befriend her, had been closer to Millie than her own shadow. It was a joke at the hospital that if they needed to find Millie they had only to listen for Mara's laughter and there she would be.  
  
Though she had heard no one approach Millie felt herself being drawn into an embrace, a pair of strong arms holding her close in her moment of weakness. Opening her eyes she saw Paul sitting next to her, his own eyes shiny with unshed tears. Closing her eyes Millie wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?"  
  
Millie nodded. "I need to think, Paul, and I can't do that here."  
  
Sighing he took her hand in his and walked with her to the airport terminal. Handing one of the bags he carried to the luggage attendant he turned and handed the other to Millie.  
  
"Just try to remember that you still have a place down here, okay? You're a good nurse and a darn good friend. There are a lot of people who don't want to lose you, Millie."  
  
Giving him a small, sad smile, Millie took the bags and turned to leave. Handing the ticket to the attendant she turned to look back at him, standing with his hands in his pocket, looking sadder than she had ever seen Paul look before. Without a second thought she dropped her bag and closed the distance between them, pulling him into a fierce hug.  
  
"I don't know what I'm going to do, Paul, but I promise you'll be the first to know when I do decide."  
  
Smiling at her Paul hugged her back and kissed her cheek. "Call to let us know you got there in one piece, okay?"  
  
Nodding, "I will."  
  
Turning away once more Millie picked up her bag and headed out toward the plane, stopping only once to wave goodbye before disappearing into the plane. Finding her seat Millie looked out the window and saw him staring at the plane; tears began to prick at her eyes once again, for what seemed like the millionth time in the last three days. It felt as though she was running away, away from the problems, the pain, the memories. But Millie needed some time to think and all she could think about in the hospital was the pain of her little shadow missing from her life.  
  
Rummaging through her bags Millie found her tissue sitting atop a package she didn't recognize. Pulling it out she suddenly remembered the day she had left to come to Chile, standing in the airport with Grandma Catherine.   
  
'If the time ever comes when you don't think that you are making a difference anymore I want you to read this book before you make a decision about your future.'  
  
How had she known? How had Grandma Catherine known that Millie would find herself in that very situation? Looking down at the package in her hand Millie realized that the time had come, that it was now. Setting her bag back onto the floor Millie ran her hands over the edge of the paper, looking for the seam to open it.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
  
Pulling back the edge of the paper Millie frowned when she saw that it was actually two books, both looking very old. Attached to the cover of one of the books was a small piece of paper with a note addressed to Millie.  
  
'Darling Millie; I had a feeling that there might come a time when you would doubt your decision's. It is a flaw that seems to run in our family. I pray that you have not made your decision yet as I know that this will help you to realize how great and beautiful an asset you are to this world. Love Grandma Catherine.'  
  
Even more confused than before Millie opened the first book and began to read.  
  
'Dear Diary; Today I leave for a place I have never heard of before. It is a small little place called Cutter Gap, in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. Ever since I heard miss Alice Henderson speaking of her home I knew that was where I wanted to go, I only pray that God will grant me the strength to endure whatever obstacles I will meet along the way. My father has just told me it is time to go. Bless me Father, for I am scared.'  
  
The entry was signed 'Christy' and Millie realized that this was the diary of her Great Grandmother Christy MacNeil. Millie had grown up hearing the adventures of her Great Grandmother, and she had always wished she could be as brave and daring as her ancestor had been. Sitting in her seat aboard the small plane bound for America Millie wondered why Grandma Catherine had given her these to read. Unsure, but curious, Millie read on.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen the plane will be landing in Houston shortly. Please make sure your tray tables are back in their upright position and your carryon bags are tucked under your seat. Thank you and enjoy the rest of your flight."  
  
As Millie marked her place in the diary she was surprised to feel tears on her cheeks. Reading about the trials her great grandmother had gone through made her wish she had known the woman all the more so. And the people she wrote about! Alice Henderson, Fairlight Spencer, Mountie O'Teale, Tommy O'Malley; there were so many inspiring people that Millie had read about in just the one year of her great grandmother's life in Cutter Gap.  
  
And her trials... Millie wondered at her ability to go on. But Christy had put it quite right when she had written, 'There is nothing I do that I do without God granting me the power to do so.' Reading about being taken hostage, working side by side with the doctor to perform surgery in the backwoods of Tennessee, moonshiner's, mistaken identity, Millie couldn't help but think that it was the script to a TV show instead of someone's real life. As the plane landed Millie had moved to get her bag when the flight attendant's voice filled the air one last time.   
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen for those of you who may be transferring to flight one eighty seven to Chicago I'm sorry to tell you that your flight has been delayed due to a mechanical problem. Your patience is appreciated in this problem and we shall inform you as soon as your flight is ready for boarding. Thank you."  
  
Sighing Millie exited the plane and settled her belongings into one of the rows by the windows. After taking a few moments to stretch her legs she sat down in a chair and began to read again.   
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
'July 17, 1914'  
  
'Dear Diary; Today I married the man I love. From this day on Christy Rudd Huddleston is no more. Christy Rudd MacNeil. Mrs. Neil MacNeil. I have to laugh as I love to write it, love to see it in writing, but most of all I love to hear it spoken aloud. The wedding day could not have been more beautiful, the sun shining brightly, not a cloud in the sky. Mother, Father, and George arrived a few days before the wedding and I thought for sure that Mother would begin to take over the planning, but she didn't. That was when I discovered what Neil had done. And to think he never said a word about calling Father and asking him to speak to mother. Just one of the many reasons I love him so much, he's always looking out for me.'  
  
'Especially since that night when the O'Malley brothers came looking for me. When Neil had found me in the kitchen cupboard he pulled me out into his arms and hasn't let go since. If he himself is not with me then someone else is, be it Miss Alice, Fairlight, or one of the children. I believe he may even have the entire cove keeping an eye on me! But, then, it was what I needed. Until we received word that the O'Malley brothers were locked away in jail I never felt completely safe, not even in the mission house itself. But Neil has been like a rock, my stronghold through all of this, comforting my fear even though I could see his still raging in his eyes.'  
  
'Never were words more true than when he told me that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I can see so much in those blue eyes of his, his pain, his fear, his love, and his determination. When he has lost a patient I can see the sadness that fills them, joy when he has saved someone from deaths door. This man that I love, my husband, carry's the health of an entire community on his shoulders. I pray that I can support him so that he in turn may support them.'  
  
'February 21, 1915'  
  
'It has been two weeks since I have seen Neil. I've never been more worried. He had to leave for Low Gap to assist a family who's only child had fallen ill. But that was two weeks ago and I've yet to hear from him. I have to admit that I'm getting more and more worried about him. Tommy had offered to go in search of him but with Zady so near the end of her pregnancy I knew he needed to be there for her. I can still remember the day Jeb had agreed to let them marry. I don't think I'd ever seen Tommy, or Zady, smile and laugh as much as they had that day. After getting married on the third of August they had barely a month of wedded bliss before Zady realized she was pregnant. As happy as I am for them I can't help but wonder when I will feel the same joy Zady does.'  
  
'Neil and I have been married for eight months and I've yet to conceive a child. What if I find that I can't? I see the sadness in Neil's eyes when he checks on Zady, I can see it when he deals with the children. How disappointed he must be in me. Every night I pray that I will become a mother but so far my prayers have gone unanswered. Why? Why can't I be a mother in more than just my dreams?'  
  
Running her fingers over the yellowed pages Millie could see little water droplets that had mixed with her penciled words and suddenly realized that she had been crying as she wrote her words. Staring out the window for a moment Millie wondered how she would have felt, had she been in such a position. Wanting something so badly but not being able to achieve it.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
  
'September 19, 1915'  
  
'Something has happened, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. He's a beautiful little boy that has burrowed so deeply into my life I cannot imagine having ever lived without him. He is my son, yet even though I love him with all of my heart I feel guilty about being so happy. How can I feel such joy and love when the only reason he is in my life springs from such heartache and despair?'  
  
'Three months ago a young woman came to the mission, very sick, very beaten, and very, very pregnant. Neil did everything he could for her but it was obvious that she was dying, we could all see it. Jessica, that was her name, had been beaten to within an inch of her life by her husband. After wandering in the woods for who knows how long she stumbled onto the mission yard and we had been caring for her ever since. A few days after she came to our mission she died, just after Neil was able to save her baby.'  
  
'My little boy.'  
  
'We named him Shane and adopted him into our lives, our home, and our family. I am a mother, it's what I've always wanted, but I can't quite get rid of the shadow that lurks in the corner of my joy. A woman died so that Neil may have a son. I wasn't able to give him a son, but I can raise our son in the best way I can. I pray that it's enough.'  
  
'January 27, 1915'  
  
'Shane spoke! Neil and I were sitting by the fire playing with little Shane when he said Pa! He actually said Pa; Neil and I were amazed, to say the least. As unsure as I was in the beginning about being able to be a good mother to Shane the truth is I can't seem to imagine a life without him. Everyday that he learns something new he teaches me about a small pleasure I'd forgotten.'  
  
'Life as a mother is not what I expected it to be. I assumed it would be about keeping a child safe, teaching them, cleaning them, caring for them; but it is so very much more. As much as he learns from me I learn from him. It's not simply caring for him, but it is loving him, breathing him, living for him. Shane is my first thought when I wake and my last before I sleep. I see Neil playing with him by the fire and I get this incredible feeling of joy, this bittersweet joy that fills my heart.'  
  
'I can't help but think of everything that Margaret missed out on, giving up on her life with Neil so quickly. He fills the role of a father so very completely it is hard to describe. I've seen Neil in the roll of man, doctor, enemy, friend, lover, and husband. And now that I have seen him in the role of a father it is so easy to forget the other aspects of the man I love. We are a family in every way that matters.   
  
'And that is enough for me.'  
  
'March 2, 1915'  
  
'I'm almost too scared to write what I have recently discovered for fear it may not find its fulfillment. Neil is not here; he's gone for a month to care for the people in Low Gap and Cataleechie. I wish he could be here to tell me if what I dream is true or not. I have already spoken with Miss Alice but she tells me it is too early to tell; though the symptoms do make her think it is true. Dear God, please let Neil come home soon. I cannot bear this fear of what may not be for much longer.'  
  
'April 13, 1915'  
  
'I'm pregnant!'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
'December1, 1915'  
  
'So much has happened recently I do no know where to begin. First I must tell you, Tommy and Zady are expecting again, she realized it only a month or two ago. Their daughter, Grace, is not even a year old yet and already they will have a second child. But Tommy has been doing well for his family. He built another room onto his family's cabin for Zady and he and they live there with his mother and sisters.'  
  
'John and Bessie have married as well as Ruby Mae and Rob. All of my older children are marrying, too early for my taste, but they are marrying for love. That is the least I could have hoped for.'  
  
'David too has married. The young woman, Nancy Martin, came to teach the school after I had to leave. Dr Ferrand refused to allow me to continue teaching laying claim to the fact that I would need to care for my children. She fell in love with our friendly preacher and they married not long after. They are happy together, and suit each other much better than I could ever have been with David. I think he realizes that now.'  
  
'But the greatest news of all, the joy that has filled our cabin, our home, is that of our newest member. Catherine MacNeil. My daughter. Our daughter. She has the fairest skin and the reddest hair that I have ever seen. And blue eyes that are crystal clear as the river. Shane has taken to her with all the love of an older brother and I know that God, his love shining through to us in every way, has blessed our family.'  
  
  
'October 17, 1917'  
  
'From this point on I am going to tie my daughter to the railing!'  
  
'Never before has my heart stopped so suddenly or so terrifyingly! I turned my back on her for one moment and Catherine disappeared from the cabin. Never before have I been so terrified as I was at that moment. Thankfully Neil happened upon her as he was coming up the path. I don't know what I would have done if he hadn't. The thought of my little girl lost in the woods is more than I could ever deal with. Neil keeps trying to tell me that everything will be all right, that I shouldn't cling to her so tightly, but I can't seem to stop the fear from keeping her close to me.'  
  
'Shane never caused me so much heartache or fear before. Catherine has been a handful and a half ever since she began to move about on her own. There are days she wears me out faster than when I used to handle a schoolroom full of students!'  
  
'Speaking of my former students... Their families are growing by leaps and bounds. Every time I see them at least one of them is pregnant again. John and Bessie have two children, twin boys, and Bessie if currently pregnant with their third child. She's hoping for a girl this time. Ruby Mae and Rob are also expecting, their first. As for Tommy and Zady, I'm afraid they had a tragedy recently. Zady lost their daughter to what Neil called a breach birth. We came very close to loosing Zady as well, much too much to close, but Neil and Miss Alice managed to bring her back to safety. It was a scare for the entire cove.'  
  
'Something that I hadn't thought of when marrying Neil, is how much closer it would bond me to the people of the cove. Hearing bout their trials and tribulations, the illness that strikes at each and every family... it has made me feel closer to them than I had ever thought possible. More times than I can remember people have stopped by our cabin, sometimes travelling as much as twenty miles, to thank Neil for his help. I see their love for him, and his work, shining out from their eyes and I can't help but be affected by that love.'  
  
'Everyday I have no choice but to thank God for bringing me here, to Cutter Gap, to my home that I will cherish for as long as I live. When I first came here it was hard, like trying to walk into the wind during the storm, but I faced the wind with God's help and the rewards have been greater than I could ever have found in any other role I could have played. I have gone from being a daughter of two wonderful parents to being a mother, a wife, a teacher, a sister and a friend.'  
  
'They are my people.'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Eleven  
  
Sitting in he terminal of the airport Millie took a deep breath, staring at the yellowed pages in her hand. The last line she had read kept running through her mind. 'They are my people.' Looking up she stared out the window at the planes sitting a various terminals and running down the runway. In the deepest crevice of her heart Millie knew she felt the same way her great grandmother Christy had. The people of the five villages were her friends, her extended family; she loved them.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen. Those of you waiting for Flight 187 to Chicago please come to the gate and we will begin boarding the plane."  
  
Blinking Millie pulled herself from her reverie and reached down to grab the bag sitting by her feet. Hooking it over her shoulder Millie moved toward the gate, through the walkway and settled herself into her seat. Reaching into her bag she pulled out a small photo album that she carried with her, filled with pictures of those closest to her. Though the first few pictures were of her family the rest of the pages were filled with pictures of the people she had left behind in Chile. Turning the page her eyes fell on the smiling face of Mara looking back up at her. Feeling the tears begin to break past her barriers Millie slammed the album shut, stuffing it back into the bag.  
  
Taking a deep breath she turned her attention back to the diary in her hands even as the plane began to taxi down the runway.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'August 28, 1920'  
  
'Something terrible has happened. There was a fire. I can barely see to write what needs to be written. The summer has been terribly dry, a drought drying up everything. And last month it broke loose on a terrible fire in Asheville. I received a call at the mission house from my brother George.'  
  
'My parents are dead.'  
  
'In one moment I have lost both my mother and my father. My family has been cut in half. I look at my daughter and my son and I realize that they will never get to see their grandparents again. But most of all I feel so much sadness that my unborn son or daughter will never get to know their grandparents.'  
  
'Neil has been very loving and kind in helping me to deal with this but I don't know how to continue. My parents are dead, how can I deal with such a thing as that? They're dead. Dead. My parents are dead. The people who gave me life, the mother and father loved me and raised me, are gone forever.'  
  
'I miss them so much!'  
  
Running her fingers over the paper Millie felt the small bumps where the paper had been wet and dried. She was crying again, and Millie understood all too well. She'd lost someone she'd loved. Christy had lost her parents just like she herself had lost Mara.  
  
"Miss?"  
  
Jumping at the feel of a hand on her shoulder Millie looked across the aisle at the woman smiling softly at her. Millie saw concern in the woman's eyes and drew her brow in confusion.  
  
"I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean to intrude but I couldn't help but notice you were crying. Is everything all right?"  
  
Putting a hand to her cheek Millie felt the warm wetness of her tears. Wiping them away she smiled at the woman. "I'll be fine, thank you."  
  
Watching her for a moment the woman shook her head. "No, I don't think so, dear. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you? Perhaps I can help. My name is Ruby."  
  
"It's a beautiful name."  
  
"Oh thank you, I was named for my great grandmother. She began my family line. My great grandmother, grandmother, mother and I are meeting at the airport when we land. We try to meet together once a year when we are able."  
  
For the rest of the plane trip Ruby and Millie chatted, Ruby telling her about her vacation time in Chile. When the plane finally landed at the airport the two women disembarked, still speaking and were walking through the terminal when someone called out Ruby's name. Turning she laughed at the sight of the three old women waiting for her.   
  
"Come on, I'll introduce you to them."  
  
Laughing Ruby pulled on Millie's hand, her energy seemingly boundless, and dragged her over to the trio of waiting women. After hugging and kissing each one she turned to Millie with a grin.  
  
"This is my mother, AnnMarie Kilmartin, my grandmother Mary O'Connell. And this young woman right here is the beginning of my family line. Granny, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Millie Jensen. Millie, this is my great grandma, RubyMae Allen."  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Twelve  
  
  
Millie stared at the old woman with incomprehension. Trying to guess her age Millie would put her in her hundreds if not more. Surely it was impossible... wasn't it?  
  
"Land sakes child, you look like ya dun seen a ghost!"  
  
Staring Millie tried to gather her wits about her. "Your name is RubyMae Allen?"  
  
"Sure it is. It's been that way since I married my man. I don't see no reason ta change it, do you?"  
  
Millie didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Pulling out the diary she turned to the entry from RubyMae and Rob's wedding, to the page with the sketch of the happy couple. "Mrs. Allen, is this you?"  
  
Taking the book RubyMae's eyes widened even as they filled with tears. "Lordy..." she whispered. "Whar'd you get this book?"  
  
"It belonged to my great grandmother, Christy MacNeil." Millie sank down to her knees next to the old woman. "You're... you're her student aren't you? The one that boarded at the mission house with them?"  
  
RubyMae nodded, tears in her eyes. "You her kin?"  
  
Nodding, "I'm her great granddaughter."  
  
A spark came into the old woman's eyes and the grip on her hands tightened. "Well then come with us, girl, we gots us some talkin' ta do," she smiled.  
  
Smiling Millie got to her feet again but shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't Mrs. Allen. I have to make my flight home in half an hour."  
  
"Now ain't that a shame. Well we can talk till then, raght?"  
  
"Right," Millie laughed. While the other three went off to get some coffee Millie and RubyMae sat together in the terminal. "Please, Mrs. Allen, tell me about my great grandmother."  
  
"Miz Christy, she wasn't real big but she had the biggest heart you'd ever imagine. Thar was this one time when we thought she was dead... I felt like my heart was gonna break right in two. But we got her back. Doc Neil dun found her in th'cave. It took a while 'fore she got back ta her old self but she did. Then 'course thar was th'time when..."  
  
For all the time they had Millie and RubyMae talked about Christy, her life, her spirit, the woman she was. Finally, their time up, they had to say goodbye. Hugging the old woman goodbye Millie waved to the other three and sprinted for the gate to board the final flight home. Once she was seated in her chair Millie at back and thought over everything RubyMae had told her about her great grandmother, the way she had lived her life with an unquenchable zeal for living, for love, and for God.  
  
A bittersweet sadness began to creep into her heart. Millie wished she were able to meet her grandmother; to spend a few hours with her the way Ruby did with RubyMae. But then, sitting in her seat, Millie realized that she could, even though her means were a little different, she could know her great grandmother.  
  
Opening the diary Millie sat back and began to read.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Thirteen  
  
'July 17, 1929'  
  
'Fifteen years ago today I married a man that can infuriate me with one word, make me smile with the smallest touch, make my blood boil without even realizing it, and make me fall in love with him all over again just by stepping into the same room.'  
  
'Happy Anniversary My Love.'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Fourteen  
  
'January 12, 1933'  
  
'It's my worst fear come true.'  
  
'All right, it's not my worst fear but it ranks pretty close. Shane has decided he wants to go west, to be a cowboy. He leaves tomorrow for Texas. For the last five years he has studied with Neil learning to be a doctor, though he has never showed any interest in college. I had wished that someday he would follow in Neil's footsteps but I guess it is not to be.'  
  
'Catherine on the other hand has followed in mine. When Nancy and David moved back to Boston she took the position of teacher in the mission school. Sadly, the school will be closed at the end of the school year. The children are going to be forced to attend the school in El Pano or not attend at all. I worry that too many of the families will decide not to send their children to the school.'  
  
'Both Miss Alice and I tried to talk Dr Ferrand out of closing the school but he revealed that the mission had run out of funds, there was no alternative. That was when he revealed that the entire mission was going to be shut down. He offered Miss Alice a chance to relocate to another mission but she turned him down, she wanted to stay here in Cutter Gap.'  
  
'That was when we thought Cutter Gap was going to keep on the track it was already on. Though many of the families had stayed, just as many had left. The Allen's were still running the mill but they had been forced to take on a big city partner who had weaseled his way into running the mill with the latest technique and Bob and Rob have become mere workers where once they had run the mill. Jeb Spencer still makes honey but John and Bessie have moved their family to the city and taken a job in the factory.'  
  
'Tommy and Zady are still in the cove, Tommy has turned his small family farm into a money making farm. He grows corn during the summer, apples and persimmons for the fall, and hunts game, selling the fur, during the winter. It's a hard life, there are a few times when they've gone without, but for the most part they do well.'  
  
'As for my family, we are doing well enough. Neil has published several papers on his trachoma research as well as patenting his treatment that was first used treat Becky. The money from that as well as the grant for more research has been allowing him to continue to treat those families left in the cove. But I'm afraid that we may not be able to stay here much longer. There have been more and more demands from the hospital granting Neil's research for him to move out to a more modern hospital in the city. I'm afraid he may not be able to hold out much longer.'  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying with us, I hope you have enjoyed your trip welcome home."  
  
Looking up Millie realized that they had landed already; she'd been so absorbed in reading that she hadn't even realized it. Marking her place in the diary Millie scrambled to gather her bags and hurried down the walkway into the airport. She was heading towards the luggage pickup when she heard a voice call her name, a voice that she had missed dearly.  
  
"Grandma Catherine!" she laughed. Dropping her bag she ran to the old woman and hugged her with all her might. "I've missed you so much!"  
  
"Millie," Catherine smiled as she hugged her favorite granddaughter tightly. After a moment Catherine pulled away to smile at the young woman. "Come on, your mother has a big dinner all ready and waiting for you."  
  
Laughing Millie gathered her dropped sack and pulled her luggage from the rack before following her grandmother out to a waiting taxicab. Settled into the back seat as the driver negotiated the roads Millie turned to Catherine with a small smile, "How did you know, Grandma?"  
  
A knowing smile graced the old woman's face. "You're much too like her for it too have been otherwise. Though I must say I am sorry it had to be something as drastic as you wrote about in your last letter." Taking Millie's smooth hand in her own wrinkled one Catherine was silent for a moment. "The first time I saw you in the backyard of Diane's home I knew you were of the same cloth. My mother was a young girl, only a few years older than you at the time, when she organized the children to build a playhouse for them. When I saw you trying to do the same thing for you and your friends..."  
  
She tailed off but Millie could finish the thought on her own. 'A cut of the same cloth...' She was right.  
  
"I met an old friend of yours in Chicago," Millie smiled.  
  
"In Chicago?" Catherine repeated, confusion in her eyes. "I don't know anyone in Chicago."  
  
"Now you do."  
  
Smiling Millie told Catherine about meeting up with RubyMae Allen and willingly passed on the information that she had learned about the old woman. The two women were still laughing over an old story of RubyMae's hijinks when the cab pulled into the driveway. Getting out Catherine paid the driver while Millie collected her bags from the trunk.   
  
"Grandma," she said, holding the woman back for a moment. Turning Catherine faced her grandchild. "I'm not sure of anything right now. I just don't know if..."  
  
"It's all right child," she smiled reassuringly. "Today is simply a day to relax. Tomorrow you can work on your problem. It will keep for the night."  
  
Kissing Millie's cheek the two women moved up the stone walkway and entered the small brick house Millie had grown up in.  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Fifteen  
  
'February 28, 1936'  
  
'I find it hard to believe we have lived in the city for a year now. Not a day passes that I don't miss my home in Cutter Gap, our cabin surrounded by the woods, a river for a front yard and a forest for a back. However today is not a day for sad reflection but rather today is a day for happy memories to be made.'  
  
'My daughter is married.'  
  
'My little girl is now a wife to a handsome young man. It was a beautiful ceremony and God granted us a beautiful day to match, the sun shining brightly and the slightest of breezes to mask the heat of the summer. Catherine looked simply divine in her gown and I know they will be happy together. I only wish that Shane had been here with us. Sadly he couldn't leave the ranch, his responsibilities as Foreman simply wouldn't let him leave.'  
  
'My children are all grown up.'  
  
"What are you readin'?"  
  
Glancing up Millie saw her little brother approaching and smiled at him. "A book."  
  
Grinning he waved goodbye and hopped onto his bike, racing off to meet this friends at the coffee shop. Millie couldn't believe how much he had grown since she had left. In one year he had shot up to the point where he now towered over her while she had been used to doing it to him. One more year and he would have a license, three years and he would be in college. Sighing she laid the book on her chest and stared at the cloudy sky above her.  
  
With a sudden pain in her heart Millie thought about all the experiences Mara would never get to know. Going to school, driving, her first kiss, her own family, seeing her children grow up and learn the same things she had. Silent tears streamed from her eyes as she thought about the little girl. Picking up the book once more she flipped backwards until she found a passage she had already read.  
  
The page had been so badly waterlogged before it had dried that most of the words were indistinguishable but she had been able to discern the most important ones.  
  
'... ravaged the cove. So many dead or dying, I fear ... never recover... No ... hit harder than the O'Teales. Wilmer ... Isaac ... dead. But as hard as those deaths ... none in the cove that has torn my heart ... my little Mountie. My sweet ... blue eyed girl... buttons... never be the same again...'  
  
From earlier passages Millie knew the story of Mountie and her little blue button as well as the place she had held in Christy's heart. Re-reading the passage Millie felt her eyes fill with tears all over again. It was a pain she knew all too well.  
  
Swinging in the hammock Millie curled into as small a ball as she could and wept.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Millie!"  
  
"Yeah mom?" she called from the living room, engrossed in the diary again.  
  
"Telephone, sweetie."  
  
Furrowing her brow in curiosity Millie clicked on the cordless and put it to her ear in time to hear her mother hang up. There was a lot of static in the background but she could just make out a voice in the background. "Millie?"  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Millie, that you?"  
  
"Paul?" she yelled over the static. "Paul, hi!"  
  
Laughing he answered her hello with his own. Yelling over the static of the line they tried to catch up with each other, she telling him of her trip home and he of what had happened wile she was gone.  
  
"Listen Millie, I gotta go, can't tie up the line for too long," Paul said at last. "We miss you down here," he said, his voice suddenly serious.  
  
"I miss you too," she said, her voice hitching at the catch in her throat.  
  
"Millie, I'm gonna be... so if you ... I'll see ..."  
  
"Paul? Paul I can't hear you, you're breaking up! Paul?"  
  
An ache filled her chest when she heard the line go dead, a dial tone replacing the static riddled conversation. Sighing she hung up the phone and turned back to the diary, picking up where she had left off.  
  
'March 30, 1941'  
  
'We're all so happy for her. Diane is a beautiful little girl with big brown eyes just like her father but the red hair that runs in our family like fire. Catherine and Jason have moved back to New York, his job calling him back much too soon, but it was just as well. No sooner had they gone than Shane called to tell us he was coming for a visit and bringing a friend with him.'  
  
'Shannon Kelly.'  
  
'My stubborn son has married a woman without even telling me. I was torn between scolding him and weeping for joy that he's finally found a woman he loves. In the end I chose to scold him while weeping for joy. What a sight I was! Thankfully Neil took me away from the room before I made a complete fool of myself.'  
  
'Though so many years have passed my husband still knows just what to do. He hasn't changed a bit in all the years we have been married. While there are many more gray hairs, and a few more wrinkles, I have yet to meet a man a handsome as he is. There will never be one, in my opinion. Never could a man be more to me than my stubborn Scotsman.'  
  
'July 1, 1944'  
  
'My husband has a secret that he won't tell me. I wonder how long it will take for me to find out what it is?'  
  
'July 18, 1944'  
  
'What a wonderful surprise!'  
  
'For our fortieth anniversary Neil has brought me to his homeland, Scotland. This was his secret the entire time! That stubborn Scot was teasing me, making me work to find out something that he had planned to tell me all along.'  
  
'But I still love him with all my heart.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Opening the door Catherine moved into Millie's bedroom to tell her dinner was ready. The words stopped on the edge of her lips at the sight of the young woman sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Tears streamed form her eyes in torrents, her watery eyes staring at the book in her lap.  
  
"Millie, darling what is it?" she said worriedly, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking Millie's hand in her own.  
  
"Oh Grandma!" she cried, her tears still pouring.   
  
"Millie?" Catherine said, her voice filled with concern at the young woman's state. "ell me what's wrong."  
  
"This!" she cried, showing the book to the old woman.  
  
Glancing down Catherine recognized the passage before her eyes had finished reading the words. Three women had cried over this page. Christy, Catherine, and now Millie had read the horrible words penned on that dreadful page.  
  
'January14, 1945'  
  
'The snowy cold is a weather suited for my heart.'  
  
'Why? Why did this have to happen now? It's not fair! It's simply not right! Dear God, why have you done this too me? There's nothing left for me to live for, there's nothing let for me to carry on for, no reason at all.'  
  
'My husband is dead.'  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
"Oh honey," Catherine whispered, soothing the sobs from Millie with a gentle caress.  
  
"What happened Grandma? How did he die?"  
  
Sighing Catherine took the book and placed it on the table next to the bed. Wiping the tears from Millie's face she smiled sadly and settled into a better position.  
  
"My father was a doctor who had never quite been able to tune out the call of a person in need. When WWII broke out he volunteered his services but they said he was too old. Nonetheless when a call went out for civilian medics to treat the wounded that were brought back to the US he volunteered. We moved to Washington and he began to work with the patients there. It was awful work but he knew that he was needed so he stuck it out."  
  
"The week before there was an announcement that they needed the best doctors available to head abroad and pick up the casualties in Europe that were too risky to make the flight without medical attention. Very few men wanted to volunteer but my father was one of them. Though Mother worried abut him every moment she knew it was something he had to do. He promised her he would be careful but it wasn't enough. The flight home was attacked by some German planes and the plane crashed into the ocean."  
  
"There were no survivors."  
  
Tears began anew in Millie's eyes and she tried to blink them away.   
  
"Mother never fully recovered from that horrible day. The day we buried him in the ground she was as silent as a stone. For every day after that as well until one day there was a visitor at the door. A woman who looked too old to be alive had come to see mother. When they laid eyes on each other it was like something I had never seen before and I doubt I will ever see again. Both my mother and the old woman burst into tears and hugged in the middle o the living room. For the next ten minutes all I could see or hear was the two of them. It was as though they had melded into one person, sharing their pain together."  
  
"When they separated the woman put her hand to mothers cheek and said something I will never forget. She said 'Neil lives within the hearts of the people who loved him, child, thee must never forget that he lives so long as thee carries him in thy heart.' As soon as she said that I knew who she was. It was Alice Henderson, my Grandmother from Cutter Gap."  
  
Millie gasped. "I had been wondering what had happened to her," she said. "Nothing had been mentioned about her in quite some time."  
  
"My mother found it easier not to think about the people she had left behind. She said it hurt too much to remember they lived a life she was no longer involved in. But Miss Alice was still alive. The next day she and mother went back to my father's grave where they prayed together that he was resting peacefully. A few days later Miss Alice left to go back to her cabin in the mountains, taking mothers love to the people she had left behind."  
  
"It wasn't until a year later that we learned she had died in a fire that consumed the entire cabin and most of the woods surrounding it."  
  
"It was at that time that mother and I went back to the mission house. That was when she told me of all the old times she had spent there. The life she had lived before marrying, my father. It was at that moment that I began to write it all down knowing it was something that needed to be shared with the world."  
  
"I'm glad you did, Grandma Catherine. I wish I could have known her."  
  
"Oh but you did," Catherine smiled. "Finish reading the diary, Millie and you'll see what I mean."  
  
Smiling at each other the two women pulled themselves together before heading down the stairs to eat with the family that had been waiting for them. When they were about to leave the table for coffee in the living room the doorbell rang, Diane heading out to answer it. A few moments later she appeared again, this time she wasn't alone.  
  
Looking up to see who their visitor was Millie shrieked with delight at the sight of the man standing in the archway. Jumping up from her chair she launched herself at him, laughing when he caught her easily.  
  
"Paul!"  
  
Grinning Paul hugged her tightly. "Hey Millie!"  
  
Leaning back she looked up at him. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I told you on the phone, Millie, didn't you hear me?"  
  
"No," she shook her head. "You were breaking up so bad I couldn't hear you."  
  
Nodding in understanding he explained. "Mike asked me to come up and oversee the supply transfer for the hospital. Since I was in the area I figured I'd stop by and say hi." Lowering his voice Paul looked down to meet Millie's eyes with his own. "I missed you," he whispered in Spanish.  
  
A throat cleared from behind them and Millie remembered where they were. Pulling away she smiled, a small blush coloring her cheeks. "Paul, this is my family. Guys, this is Paul, he's the teacher down in the villages."  
  
"Welcome Paul," Diane smiled. "We were just about to take our coffee to the living room, would you care to join us?"  
  
"Thank you, I'd love to."  
  
The group moved out to the living room. While the older ones took the couch and easy chair Millie opted for a floor cushion and Paul dropped down beside her. As the evening passed they talked it along until, one by one, they started to nod off. Yawning and smiling they said goodnight to Millie and Paul. Diane offered him the guestroom but he refused with the excuse of a hotel room across town. Walking him to the door they slipped into Spanish out of habit as they said goodnight.  
  
"Listen I've got to go inspect the supplies tomorrow, did you want to join me?" he asked her.  
  
"Sure," Millie smiled.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Chapter Seventeen  
  
Sipping her shake Millie examined the rows of boxes. Most of them contained medical supplies but some were books, pen and paper for the school. They'd already checked the inventory and matched it up with their own list. While Millie waited in the supply room Paul went to return to list and confirm delivery times with the manager. When he returned they headed back out to the car.  
  
"Well that's it," he smiled. "Was there anything you wanted to do while we were out?"  
  
"Nothing I can think of. You already fixed my chocolate craving so I'm good to go," she grinned, holding up her shake.  
  
Laughing Paul started the car and pulled out onto the street. "Well I can't speak for you but there are a bunch of things I plan on doing while I'm back in the states."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Three things. Go see a movie, eat an entire pizza, and have a date with the prettiest girl I lay my eyes on."  
  
Millie laughed. "So take the prettiest girl you meet out for pizza and a movie and you'll be all set."  
  
Stopping at a red light Paul looked over at her, a small smile on his face. "So is that a yes?"  
  
Shocked Millie fell silent. He was asking her? Looking over at him she could see the uncertainty in his eyes and it nearly melted her into a puddle. "Yeah," she said softly. "That's a yes."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You want some Ice Cream?"  
  
"You're hungry again?" Millie groaned. "We split an entire large pizza, Paul, I couldn't eat another bite!"  
  
Paul laughed and squeezed her hand lightly. Walking through the mall plaza where the pizza shop and movie theater were located Millie smiled at the sound of his laughter filling the air. It had been a nice evening together. They'd gotten a pizza before going to see the movie and now they were heading back towards his rental car. It was a new side of Paul that Millie had seen that evening. She'd seen the teacher, the man who fought for the villages, and the joker before, they were the sides of Paul she knew well. But tonight she had begun to see him as a man.  
  
It had been a very nice evening.  
  
Their ride back to her house was comfortably silent but when he pulled into the driveway Paul asked her to wait a moment.   
  
"Listen, Millie, I really had fun tonight."  
  
"Me too," she smiled.  
  
"But I'm leaving tomorrow," he continued as though he hadn't heard her. "Mike knew I was going to be here and he asked me to give you this." Holding out a small envelope Millie took it from him, both of them knowing it held a renewal contract for her in Chile. "I know you said you needed to think about it all Millie but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss you. It's been different since you left. Before I thought it was fine, but having you there and now not having you there... it's really different."  
  
"Paul..."  
  
"Just think about it Millie. We need you down there. The people trust you, more so than they trust Lisha. You believe in them and they know it. They believe in you too. And so do I."  
  
"You don't understand Paul."  
  
"Yeah I do, Millie. I loved Mara too." Paul sighed. "It's never easy to watch any of them die, especially when we know that they didn't have to if we'd had the right equipment and medicine. But we have to let it go."  
  
"I don't know if I can just let go, Paul. It's too hard."  
  
Raking a hand through his hair Paul sighed. Getting out of the car they stood in front of the door to the house. Before Millie could open the door Paul grabbed her hand and turned her so that she faced him. Lowering his head he kissed her, his lips burning hers with a scorching heat. "Don't give up Millie. There's still so much you can do but you can't give up."  
  
Not letting her say a word he silenced her with another kiss before turning and getting into the car, pulling out of the drive way and driving down the street as fast as he could. Watching him go Millie put a hand to her lips, her heart even more confused than before.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'April 22, 1976'  
  
'Life has certainly thrown me though many twists and turns through the years. The ups and downs have been as vast and as powerful as one of those new roller coaster that are popping up everywhere. When I look back on my younger days I wonder that I ever made it from one day to the next with such wide-eyed innocence. But through it all I have always been able to count on the one true strength that has always been there for me.'  
  
'God Almighty and his eternal love for his people.'  
  
'I know that without his love I wold never have made it. There have been times, too many for my taste, when I have lost confidence in him, my faith nearly disappearing with the death or tragedy of that moment. But when I have turned my face to him he has always been there to shine his love down upon me and I have known that, while I wasn't looking, it was actually him who kept my love and faith from disappearing altogether.'  
  
'There have been hard times and there have been good times in my life and through them all I have lived, growing stronger under the trial's and gaining memories of the happy times. I have seen children born and I have seen them die. The circle of life has never stopped turning and I am merely a part of that circle. I Know that I will soon draw my last breath, it is sooner come than I had hoped. But I thank God that I was able to see the birth of my first great grandchild before leaving this world forever.'  
  
'They have named her Millicent for her father's grandmother and Christina for me. Millicent Christina Jensen. Such a large name for such a tiny little thing. But I know she will bear it well. When I held the wee thing in my arms she opened her small little eyes to look up at me and I could see so much in those crystal blue eyes. I know she will change as she grows up but looking at this little angel right now I see my Neil in her. She has his looks, as well as my zest for life, I can tell. She is a MacNeil, there is no doubt about it.'  
  
'This little girl will do great things with her life.'  
  
"Oh," Millie breathed as she read the passage. Blinking she turned the page.  
  
One the next page Millie saw a newspaper clipping.  
  
'August 17, 1976'  
  
'Christina Rudd Huddleston MacNeil died in her sleep tonight. She is remembered by her family that loved her dearly and will always carry her in their hearts.'  
  
Millie stared at the book in her hands. "How did she know?" she whispered.  
  
"Because she knew you," came the soft reply.   
  
Looking up Millie saw Grandma Catherine standing in the doorway of her bedroom. Smiling gently Catherine sat down on the edge of the bed.   
  
"I remember sitting in the room as she held you and seeing the way she seemed to bond with you, and you with her, in that one instant. Watching you grow up I could see so much of my mother in you that I felt as though I had been given a glimpse of her own childhood."  
  
Silence fell for a moment.  
  
"She would be very proud of you."  
  
Millie blinked against the tears in her throat. "I hope so."  
  
Catherine smiled. "I know so."  
  
Looking up at her grandmother Millie allowed a tear to fall. "I'm scared, Grandma."  
  
"Of what sweetie?"  
  
"That I won't have the strength to get past the pain."  
  
"None of us do. The strength doesn't come from within us; it is given to us as a gift from the one whose strength never ceases. Whenever God closes a door he opens a window. It's up to us to find it and go where it leads us. The question you need to answer, Millie, is where does your window lead?"  
  
Looking down at the old, worn leather cover of the book in her hands Millie wondered what the answer to the question was. The window had opened, but could she find it? And would she have the faith in God to pass though it?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Millie looked out the window to see lush green trees lining the ground as she listened to the announcement made in both English and Spanish.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen... Welcome to Chile!"  
  
  
The End 


End file.
